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Candorville

Comics about men.

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-02 Pub. Date: 2016-04-02
Image Number: 141138
Caption: Lemont? If you could wish for just one thing and it'd come true, what would it be? And don't say "an unlimited number of wishes." That’s cheating. I'd wish for an unlimited number of wishes. How about you? I'd wish that men actually listened. It looks good on you. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-11-09).
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140511
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don't know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "Your" an' "breath." ... an' "stank."
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140179
Caption: My assistant, Dick Fink, somehow removed all the glass from my windows and I nearly plummeted to my death. I need to fire him, sir. Don't you think you're being just a tiny bit hysterical, Garcia? You're not sure it was him. And the man has a family to support. Whatever it is, work it out. Does he have something on you, Mr. Fitzhugh? You're always protecting him. Does he know some dirty secret? Of course not. By the way, totally unrelated ... let's whisper when we discuss Fink ... just for kicks. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002.
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 138939
Caption: You're going to vote for Trump? He a man of action, dawg. Yeah. But what kind of action? What that matter? I'm tired of electin' people who can't get spit done. Do you like what he says he can get done? What that have to do with anything? What do you mean? It has everything to do with everything! If someone wants to accomplish awful things, you shouldn't want him to accomplish them. What if he said he was the only candidate on stage who could successfully build a puppy-melting death ray? Well ... probably can't Hillary build no death ray. She ain't never persuaded nobody to do nothin; noway. That's not the point!!!
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-28 Pub. Date: 2016-01-28
Image Number: 138298
Caption: The Double Date. Tell me about yourself, Ace. Not much to tell, really. As a small child I led twelve other children through Siberia on foot to escape the Soviet Union. I fashioned a raft out of twigs and grass and sailed across the Bering Strait to Alaska, where I went on to found a multi-million-dollar blubber company by the age of twelve. You? Same. More or less.
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137944
Caption: Hi stranger … nice day out, isn't it? The eagle has landed. What? … Hey, you aren't meeting up with someone to do something shady, are you? Sounds like you're usin' code words or something. You can do better with your life, young man. That ain't even close to "The fat man walk alone." (Sigh) ... If you don't like talking to strangers, just say so. So.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-12 Pub. Date: 2016-01-12
Image Number: 137664
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-08 Pub. Date: 2016-01-08
Image Number: 137379
Caption: http://archive.org. Wayback Machine. Year: 1776. URL: Facebook.com/ThomasJefferson. Thomas Jefferson. About an hour ago. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. Like 35. musketsam: You, sir, art a communist who knoweth aught about the way the world works. Thomas Jefferson: Communist? musketsam: You would have us believe all men are "equal." I suppose that means you also think all men should be given polar bears made of jelly beans and whatever else they want. Thomas Jefferson: If you are endeavoring to change my mind about all men being created equal, you are doing a good job of it. John Adams: LOL! John Smith: This is a good article. If you enjoyed this article as I did, you may also like this Wonderful Sale on Tomahawks I discovered. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-26).
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-06 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137377
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-27).
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-01 Pub. Date: 2016-01-01
Image Number: 137117
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra.
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-25 Pub. Date: 2015-12-25
Image Number: 136832
Caption: I was having a great Christmas until I turned on the "Ask Sadie Radio Hour." What happened? She went 4.3 minutes before she even mentioned Christmas. The nerve! This war on Christmas is getting totally out of control. So I called in and I told her off. I said she and the rest of the godless, Christmas-hating media should stick their disrespect where the sun don't shine. I said "What part of 'peace on earth, good will toward man' don't you understand, you @#$%&!"? Wait, isn't the "Ask Sadie" show's intro about 4 minutes long?
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-11 Pub. Date: 2015-12-11
Image Number: 136223
Caption: I love being inside when it's freezing outside. It makes me feel six years old again, Clyde. It's the same feeling I'd get when I built a fort out of couch cushions. What the -- ? Another stereotype bites the dust. You a grown man, dawg. A real man isn't afraid to be six years old. A real "real man" ain't afraid to put a six-year-old on timeout. Go sit in the corner.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-10 Pub. Date: 2015-12-10
Image Number: 136222
Caption: I took your advice. I'm going on a double date next week. Susan and her allegedly perfect man vs. me and my lady friend from Vancouver. Yeh this gon' turn out real well. Did you just hear what you said, Big L? That guy can't be perfect. Vancouver is perfect. There can be only one perfect. I'ma sell tickets to this.
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-08 Pub. Date: 2015-12-08
Image Number: 136220
Caption: I've been talking to this lady in Vancouver. It's going great, but I want to take our relationship to the next level. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. Easy, bruh: Take your lady on a double date. But make sure the other woman in that other couple think you cute. If your girl see the other woman ignorin' her man to look at you, she gonna get mad jealous. How's that a good thing? Ain't nothin' take a relationship to the next level better'n jealousy.
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 134847
Caption: I think I'm getting jaded, Doc. Dr. Noodle. A few weeks ago, Blingy & Poshman Jewelers in Candorville did something very, very racist. S. Pookie Blackman is a multimillionaire quarterback for the Candorville Chickens. He stopped by to check out some jewelry. As soon as they saw the 6'10" black man coming, the store employees locked the door, begged him to leave, and then when he rang the doorbell, they called the police. But when I heard all that, all I did was shrug and think "I hope he didn't end up buying anything." I see. It's normal. Sometimes your outrage-muscle needs a rest. I was able to work up some anger about the cops who asked him why he had a nice car.
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-29 Pub. Date: 2015-10-29
Image Number: 134385
Caption: Is the city getting smoggier, Susan? I used to be able to count the windows on the buildings across the bay from here. No, Lemont. The city's not getting smoggier. It's gotten a lot cleaner, actually. Are they making gravity heavier? It used to be a lot easier getting up here. Old man.
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-20 Pub. Date: 2015-10-20
Image Number: 133799
Caption: If all them hundreds of mass shootings was bein' done by black men, we'd be confiscating guns tomorrow. When white people arm themselves so they can defend against the government, people call 'em "patriots." When black people do it, like the Black Panthers did, the same people call them "terrorists." This country ain't color-blind, dog, it's color-blinded. You're much less depressing when you just talk about french fries.
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-12 Pub. Date: 2015-10-12
Image Number: 133792
Caption: My son needs speech therapy, but I don't have the money. Insurance will cover it, but only once he turns three. Should I wait till he's three … or should I have him lie about his age and risk teaching him it's ok to deceive: which'll possibly lead to a career in politics? Why e'rebody treat "risk" like it a four-letter word? Man up. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2.
     
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