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Candorville

Comics about men.

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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-29 Pub. Date: 2017-09-29
Image Number: 163101
Caption: How 'bout that Chokers game? The Candorville Chokers might go all the way this year. Whachoocare? What do you mean "What do I care?" Haven't you got any civic pride, son? They're our hometown team. They're our boys. They a bunch of grown-!@#$ men runnin' 'round in a circle for millions of dollars. Ain't nary a one of them even from here. That pitcher Fernando Maldonado only speak German. In the winter we play for Cameroon. If you don't like small talk, just say so!
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-04 Pub. Date: 2017-08-04
Image Number: 161034
Caption: Why you always readin' that newspaper, Big L? Because I want to know what's happening in the world. Why? A man only has so much room in his head; why fill it up with stuff that ain't got spit to do with you? You ever seen a hamster worryin' about global warming? No, he just want his pine nuts. Hamsters don't eat "pine nuts," Clyde. See? Why you even know that? You ain't never had no hamster.
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-27 Pub. Date: 2017-07-27
Image Number: 160760
Caption: Hey, Lionel, it's daddy! You ready to go home? Everyone hazta go through me. Day Care. What? Who are you, little big man? Themz callz me "Bulldogz." Are you one of Lionel's little friends? Aren't you cute. Anyway, Lionel, let's go home. Dinner's waiting. did you tell my boy to deal with a bully by hiring a 4-year-old bodyguard? No. Ahmz only threeez.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-26 Pub. Date: 2017-07-26
Image Number: 160759
Caption: Wait … did you say someone is bullying my song? Yeh, but I took care of that while you was gone. I taught little bruh to man up an' overcome it exactly the way you did back when we was kids an' a bully was clownin' you. You taught him to stand toe-to-toe with the bully, look him in the eye, and deliver a stirring speech that won his respect? What? That ain't even close to what happened. Well that's how I remember it. You also 'member Sinbad playing a genie ins some '90s movie, but that ain't never happened neither. Yes it did!!!
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-23 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-23 Pub. Date: 2017-07-23
Image Number: 160037
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 45 million slaves today, y'know.
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-21 Pub. Date: 2017-07-21
Image Number: 160505
Caption: She had dinner with Randy "The Rock" Taylor, the 6-foot-5 former football player. Uh-oh … The guy who writes "MANuals," the best-selling series of advice books for me. Is he dwelling on it? The guy who gave a Ted Talk on "The Art of Hot Lovin'." I hope he's not dwelling on it. The guy who wrote "How to Steal a Woman's Heart: For Dummies." He's probably not dwelling on it.
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-19 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-19 Pub. Date: 2017-07-19
Image Number: 160503
Caption: So … what do your lovers call you? Lover. He calls me "Vancouver." I call him "Candorville." He's so cute. And so hot. He's sensitive, and confident, and charming. And vulnerable, like a wounded condor. No man's ever gotten me like he does. Oh, gosh. Look at me. I've been talking about Lemont all night. Check? Susan? It's Lemont. Oh, fine. You? ... Oh, that's good. Listen, I just accused Vancouver of cheating on me, and confronted her with the video you sent me. Didn't you say you watched the video? ... No? ... Oh. ... You sure? ... Oh. ... Yes, of course I watched it first. I'm not a complete idiot.
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-30 Pub. Date: 2017-06-30
Image Number: 159712
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … " … and the aria turned, smiled sweetly, and stepped off the cliff." The Last Book Store. Meet the author! Thank you, thank you so much. Any questions. I've got a question, miss. Lysurgus Cup. The Willow Chronicles. Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Wow! Clap! Clap clap clap. How hungry are you? I knew a French place around the corner. Wanna get out of here? Yes. I mean NO. I mean, I'm working here. And I've got a man. Lemont. And I AM hungry though. And no! I'll be outside on the Harley.
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159709
Caption: That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-17 Pub. Date: 2017-06-17
Image Number: 159156
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. I'ma tell you the only mature way to deal with a bully, little man. You know karate? No. Kung fu? No. Tae kwon do? No. Can you do a flying scissor kick? No. Pile driver? No. Boston crab? No. Get you a bigger friend. Ok.
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-15 Pub. Date: 2017-06-15
Image Number: 159154
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. How do I make Brixton not be a buller? Hold on … lemme call your daddy … It's ringin'. Day care. Hello? Yo, Big L, some bully beefin' wit' little man. What you want me to tell 'im to do? The plane crashed at the North Pole! We were rescued by insurgent elves but now they're holding us hostage until the dictator Santa Clause agrees to a ceasefire and two weeks' paid vacation! Send help! got it. Later, bruh. Boop. Your daddy want you to shout a lot of nonsense so the bully think you crazy. I happen to concur.
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-14 Pub. Date: 2017-06-14
Image Number: 159153
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. Little man what'd you do when Brixton called your daddy names? Nothing. Was it the first time he bothered you? No. He's not nice all the time. I see. Well, whachoogot, little man, is a bully. You know what a bully is, don't you? 'Course. It's a cow with no nipples. No. But that bring me to how you deal with bullies ...
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-13 Pub. Date: 2017-06-13
Image Number: 159152
Caption: C'mon, little man. We goin' to Uncle C-Dog place 'cause you pop's done gone to … wait … what's wrong, Bruh? Brixton. He's being not nice. Day care. Whachoomean? What Brixton done? He push you off the sings? He put sand in your hair? He take your dinosaur? Lionel. Sophie. He said my daddy is and "enema of the American people because he's a journalist." don't nobody take Lionel Brown dinosaur. Wait ... what? I told Ms. Karen but Brixton said it was fake news.
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158398
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-31 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158602
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm beyond tired of this. A promising young man, who could've one day been a great general or a president, or a dad … cut down by a white supremacist … or by a cop, or by a thug … I'm tired, tired, tired of this! You're tired of this? Well ... yeah ... I ... guess you're more ... can we start over?
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158344
Caption: … So Ace Peerless and I were parasailing, and out of nowhere, he took out his knife, cut his cords, and plummeted into the ocean. Of all the times I've had men run out in the middle of an argument, that was by far the most annoying. Susan, I said my old college roommate Rudy Park is a Russian spy, and a federal agent put me on a plane to Moscow to follow him and expose how he's helping Putin blackmail the president! Not being heard. That is my biggest pet peeve, Lemont. Ace knows that. Could you pick my son up from daycare?
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-11 Pub. Date: 2017-05-11
Image Number: 157810
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back you old Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
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