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Candorville

Comics about men.

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401. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-01 Pub. Date: 2009-12-01
Image Number: 41430
Caption: "I don't know how you tracked me down, Senor Lemont, but it's true: I am 'El Chacal,' leader of the most barbaric Mexican drug cartel. There is no mystery, here, little journalist. All the carnage and disappearances in La Ciudad Juarez are part of our drug war. I would like to thank our sponsors: the greed of local officials whose pockets we line, and the misguided American 'War on Drugs' that makes our product so incredibly valuable." He really said all that? Either that or "Prepare to die, dog-man." Worst translator, ever.
     
402. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-29 Pub. Date: 2009-11-29
Image Number: 41226
Caption: Cough drop? What that is, black cherry? Tsk. What do you mean 'tsk'? I'm old school, dawg. I don't @#$% around with no "black cherry," or "strawberry." I keep it real, man. MENTHOL. The HARD stuff. You can feel it burning all in your passages. We're getting old. Let's go run through them sprinklers. Too little, too late.
     
403. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-17 Pub. Date: 2009-11-17
Image Number: 40986
Caption: You the loser who's doing my little sister wrong? Treating her like she doesn't exist? Probably. Who your sister is? If you don’t start communicating with her like she deserves, I'ma crack your head like a corn nut. Tsk. Don't worry, big man, my momma told me to ALWAYS be communicable to women. ... And that's what I am to ... whatever the @$#% your sister name is. I'm coming over to stand on your face.
     
404. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-13 Pub. Date: 2009-11-13
Image Number: 40743
Caption: How in the heck did you domesticate these killer wolves? I spent a semester abroad in the '80s. I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro where a guru taught me the ancient art of wolf hypnotism. That's AMAZING. Not really. When you think about it, everytime the man domesticates an animal, there's hypnotism involved. No, I meant I thought you were much older than that. You were in college in the '80s?!
     
405. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-18 Pub. Date: 2009-10-18
Image Number: 39842
Caption: The other day I found out my wife's been cheating on me for six months and I can't stop thinking about the other man. I want to find him. I see. It's only natural. But it's important to realize that the other man is not the cause of your problem. The problem is that something about your marriage is dysfunctional or unsatisfying. Rather than face it, your wife looked elsewhere for a solution. You're doing the same thing by pretending the other man is the problem and if we were to just go away, that would fix everything. You have to choose: A short-term fix that feels great but won't last, or a long, hard, painful look at the unhealthy dynamic you and your wife cheated. I just meant I think she left my golf clubs at his house.
     
406. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-15 Pub. Date: 2009-10-15
Image Number: 39585
Caption: Did ye have to go 'n spit me out like 'af? The other leprechauns said if I coughed YOU up, you'd give me your pot of gold . Faith and begorrah! Oh well, a promise is a debt. I'll show ye where me gold is kept. That's not gold. It's a chunk of corn! I've had a wee setback. Credit card debt, the recession ... You're the only man I know whose hallucinations are political commentary. Could ye spare a wee spot of tea for downtrodden?
     
407. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-11 Pub. Date: 2009-10-11
Image Number: 39258
Caption: Who is it? This is a wake-up call for Lemont Brown. I donm mumble. You've got to stop using your cell phone in the bathroom. Pardonm I domble … If you keep doing it, at least get acquainted with your "mute" button. Just cupping your hand over your phone's microphone doesn't always work. Huh? Anyway, think of it this way ... If you get an urgent call while you're in the John, what the heck can you DO about it? Zzzzz. You'd have to wait till "flush" you're out anyway, right?
     
408. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-04 Pub. Date: 2009-10-04
Image Number: 39059
Caption: I'm sick of liberals saying President Obama's critics are racists. I mean, just because he's the only president to be called a liar in a joint session of Congress in all the sixty years of the television age … … doesn't mean anything. Maybe not. And just 'cause the Congressman who shouted at him is a member of the sons of Confederate veterans doesn't mean anything either. Page 18,997 subparagraph x in "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." "Move along, nothing see here."
     
409. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-27 Pub. Date: 2009-09-27
Image Number: 38664
Caption: Random man on the street, explain to me why you think health care reform is "socialism." Simple, Bob. Anytime BIG GOVERNMENT steps in and keeps the free market from doing whatever the @#$% it wants to us, that's socialism. Like the other day, I was having a heart attack ... called 9-1-1. County wanted to send me an ambulance to take me to the nearest cardiac unit. That's socialism. No way do I want government deciding where I'm going to go. I see. Go on ... I called several different ambulance companies, said I wanna go to the best cardiac unit in America, and asked them to submit competitive bids. And then? I died before any of them got back to me, but at least it was MY CHOICE.
     
410. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-16 Pub. Date: 2009-09-16
Image Number: 38470
Caption: Just read your new column: "What Chucho's Hauling Van Tells us about Health Care Reform." What an unorthodox metaphor. Sometimes, Brown, I marvel at how a man's brain can make the connections yours makes. Um … thanks? Sir? Yes? Was that praise or an insult? I hope someday you'll donate your synapses to science.
     
411. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-13 Pub. Date: 2009-09-13
Image Number: 38147
Caption: VH1 presents Where Are They Now? The Some-People Story: Part Two. The time was 2009, and the straw man called "some people" had hit rock bottom. I want to take your guns. Yawn. Nobody was paying attention and he collapsed in an orgy of booze-fueled self-pity. The former Titan of the false-argument industry tried to end it all. Eat me! Why won't you eat me?! Squawk? But there's a season for everything, and soon "some people's" fortunes were about to change. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Turn off that camera. Dubble Cross Health Insurance CEO. With a new name and a new purpose, he was back in the saddle again. Gimme your Grandma! I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill her! AAAAAH!!! What else is on? I'm gonna use your tax dollars to pay for illegal immigrant's vaccinations! Oh dear God! NNOOO!!!
     
412. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-11 Pub. Date: 2009-09-11
Image Number: 38145
Caption: Therapy's a rip-off! You're not telling me anything useful about me! Like what? I don't know, like maybe I feel responsible for my dad having run out on us, so I've been PUNISHING myself ever since. And maybe instead of staying with Roxanne because I'm a good man, I'm staying to atone for my misplaced guilt ... ... And the first step in curing my guilt is to realize it's ok to leave Roxanne. Y'know, something USEFUL like THAT. That'll be $100.
     
413. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-03 Pub. Date: 2009-09-03
Image Number: 38000
Caption: I just wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die! I can't stand knowing that she's with some other man who doesn't deserve her. Big L, you've got to … Have you made out a will? Yes. Am I in it? No. Big L, you've got to LIVE. You've gotta go on with your life!
     
414. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-29 Pub. Date: 2009-08-29
Image Number: 37760
Caption: Don't worry, baby. When the girls are older they're gonna look for a nice, kind, respectful man. So you just be who you are, baby, and someday. Pardon me. I just want to tell you that this memory is complete bull. Women don't ever outgrow their desire for the "bad boy." They suppress it. The trick is finding one who's so good at suppressing what she really wants that she'll be willing to settle for your boring behind. MOMMA! Have a good day.
     
415. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-04 Pub. Date: 2006-05-12
Image Number: 13722
Caption: What's going on in here, Garcia? Mr. Fitzhugh, Dick Fink, my assistant, tried to trick me into signing this resignation letter. He's after my job. Ms. Garcia, are you questioning my character? I'm a hard-working family man. Notice he's not denying it. Oh, I'm shocked. My delicate sensibilities can't take these irresponsible allegations. He's not denying it. It's not nice to attack a family man's character, Garcia.
     
416. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-05 Pub. Date: 2009-07-05
Image Number: 35949
Caption: Would you like a lid for your mocha, sir? Seriously? Do I look like I need an ADULT SIPPY CUP? I'm a grown man. I've been drinking from big boys cups from decades now. No thanks. She needs one, though. She didn't order anything.
     
417. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-27 Pub. Date: 2009-06-27
Image Number: 35439
Caption: … And girl, believe me when I say that man was new and improved. Pardon me … Something can't be both "new" AND "improved." You can only "improve" something that's already there. Which means it can't be "new." Where's my new taser? As long as it wasn't refurbished, that works.
     
418. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-18 Pub. Date: 2009-06-18
Image Number: 35247
Caption: Whatcha doin' Big L? I'm writing a credo. Every writer should have a credo. It's a personal statement summarizing everything I'm passionate about. Then whenever I feel lost, I'll read it, and it'll remind me who I am. "I like cheese." YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ ANOTHER MAN'S CREDO.
     
419. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-12 Pub. Date: 2009-06-12
Image Number: 35003
Caption: I don't trust that Latina Judge Obama appointed to the Supreme Court. She was a member of La Raza! Republicans are right, La Raza is "a Latino KKK without the hoods or the nooses." ...Or the violence or the preaching of racial superiority. Other than tha-- oh, and without the long history of terrorism. Other than that, it's exactly the same.
     
420. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-11 Pub. Date: 2009-06-11
Image Number: 35002
Caption: Mainstream Media. Obama's Latina Supreme Court nominee said she thinks a Latina woman could make wiser rulings than a White man. …About race and sex discrimination cases. Wait… What was that? SOME very few PEOPLE ARE CALLING HER A BIGOT!
     
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