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Candorville

Comics about men.

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381. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-23 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-23 Pub. Date: 2010-07-23
Image Number: 49783
Caption: How long have you been reading my work, Stephen King? Since Hurricane Katrina. When the paper published your interview with the "ghost" of one of the victims … … I thought "There's a man who's not afraid of looking utterly crazy in front of million of readers." I ... Um ... We're all crazy, but you don't even try to hide it.
     
382. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-18 Pub. Date: 2010-04-18
Image Number: 46251
Caption: Dick Fink? What are you doing? Seriously, Dick? Are you trying to annoy me or something? This is kind of juvenile. Don't you think? I'm a grown woman. You're a grown man … of some sort. (sigh) Stare all you want, Dick. It won't make nervous. It won't make me self-conscious. It won't make me fly off the handle ... ... So that everyone'll think I'm insane and they'll fire me and give my job to you like I know you've always wanted. IT WON'T MAKE ME PARANOID!
     
383. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-14 Pub. Date: 2010-04-14
Image Number: 46247
Caption: Big government's a drug pusher. Say what? Paved roads, power lines, running water, schools, hospitals, planes filling the skies … Who asked for all that? I didn't! I shouldn't have to pay for any of it! Well stop using it all then. I can't! It's in my veins, man, my veins!
     
384. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-30 Pub. Date: 2010-03-30
Image Number: 45680
Caption: Date - a - chick.com. Charming, happy man who doesn't have a bitter bone in his body … … about his evil harpy ex who made his life a living nightmare … … seeks equally happy woman. Start over. Too mushy?
     
385. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-29 Pub. Date: 2010-03-29
Image Number: 45679
Caption: Date - a - chick.com Welcome, Please choose a username. Captai … Tap tap tap tap tap. Captain Kirk. Tap tap tap click. Error: please choose a username that will HELP you find a woman.
     
386. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-21 Pub. Date: 2010-03-21
Image Number: 45150
Caption: I've fallen in love with another woman. But my wife and I have so much history. This other woman, Kelly, makes me happy. And that makes me miserable! Nobody but my wife should make me happy. What kind of sick jerk am I to allow another woman to make me happy! But things just aren't like they used to be with my wife. We don't have the same spark we used to have. Hmmm ... I see. Should I move on, doc? Considering your wife left you for another man eight months ago, that might not be a bad idea. You don't think it's too soon?
     
387. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-16 Pub. Date: 2010-03-16
Image Number: 45145
Caption: Susan's been dating Dick Fink for months. She's probably happy and fulfilled. Hold on! … Are you jealous of Dick, or are you jealous of SUSAN?! Maybe you didn't want SUSAN! Maybe you wanted what Susan HAS! Happiness! Love! … With a hairy, shady gerbil of a man? Not wise to stand in the way of the therapy-breakthrough train. "Therapy-breakthrough train"? Too clunky?
     
388. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-15 Pub. Date: 2010-03-15
Image Number: 45144
Caption: Doc, it still bugs me that Susan's in love with another man. Your relationship with Roxanne was miserable because you were really in love with Susan. But Susan loves someone else anyway. So your pining for her poisoned your relationship with Roxanne for NOTHING. Therapy makes me feel SO much better. You wasted years of your life that you'll never get back.
     
389. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-09 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-10 Pub. Date: 2008-01-09
Image Number: 21007
Caption: Opsleet Computing, Ryan speaking. Ryan, this is a story about a man named Lemont who ordered a hard drive from you. Lemont paid $15 extra for two-day shipping, Ryan. The hard drive never arrived. Lemont is not happy, Ryan. When did Lemont order it? 2006. Lemont should give it a few more days. Lemont is feeling homicidal, Ryan.
     
390. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-21 Pub. Date: 2010-01-21
Image Number: 43149
Caption: Intensive Care. Hold on, the media reported you were here. This letter came for you today. Dear Lemont Brown, In your book "Katrina's Ghost," you interviewed the ghost of a man who sacrificed his own life to save his wife during Hurricane Katrina. The story touched me more than you could ever imagine, because that man was my husband. And I'll be seeing him soon. Please write back so I can thank you personally. * *Writing back will enroll you in a Feudalbanc Massacard's credit protection program. These people are tricky.
     
391. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-18 Pub. Date: 2010-01-18
Image Number: 43146
Caption: Where is he, Doctor? Can I see him? Yes, but you must brace yourself. Lemont Brown is no longer the man you knew. When paramedics brought him in, he'd been beaten so badly he looked NOTHING like his I.D. … Almost as if a big muscle-man had repeatedly sat on his head. Dear God! His nose! His chin! I can hardly bear to look! He looks ... so ... shifty and untrustworthy now! He's going to need your support.
     
392. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-12 Pub. Date: 2010-01-12
Image Number: 42958
Caption: So, how are you gonna market my "Jokes About Rush Limbaugh's Heart Troubles" CD? Mr. Gold, I told you before, we don't work for free. Does Armani Gold look like a man who needs a handout? Years ago, I thought ahead and trademarked every possible "But I didn't know Limbaugh had a heart" joke. Dios mio. So far my lawyer's sued half of San Francisco.
     
393. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-30 Pub. Date: 2009-12-30
Image Number: 42484
Caption: You came to me months ago for therapy. The love of your life had just found another man. You were engaged to an "evil" woman. Your career was disintegrating. You felt lost. Alone. Powerless against the dangers that encircled your hopeless world. You snapped. Your brain constructed an elaborate fantasy to process it all. You're imagining you're lost in Mexico, surrounded by wolves and demons. I"M YOUR LIFELINE, LEMONT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP AND HEAL! Sorry, can you repeat all that? I was twittering.
     
394. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-27 Pub. Date: 2009-12-27
Image Number: 42238
Caption: RRIIING! Whachoowant? With whom am I speaking? The brotha you called, fool. I didn't call you a fool. What? What? Hold on a second, I -- The C-Dog don’t' wait on hold for no man. @#$% you. Click. Is this how most of your phone conversations go? I don't know, not too many people call me.
     
395. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-23 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-23 Pub. Date: 2009-12-23
Image Number: 42234
Caption: "If you buy me a couple tacos, I'll tell you the real story, not the bogus 'Drug War' cover story. After that. "That's the true reason for all the killings." Before that. "La Lloraona, El Chupacabra and Bigfoot have invaded Juarez. They're stealing men's souls and turning the now-empty husks into vicious killers." There. THAT'S why I want my taco back. They're foot-soldiers for an ancient ... Pass the salt.
     
396. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-21 Pub. Date: 2009-12-21
Image Number: 42232
Caption: "In a raspy, menacing baritone, the disheveled hobo said, 'I know who's been killing thousands of people here in La Ciudad Juarez.' "He reeked of alcohol and loneliness. But what did I have to lose by listening?" Ok, where were we? I'm old, not deaf. "The lonely old boozer's mind drifted like ... something that drifts a lot."
     
397. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-13 Pub. Date: 2009-12-13
Image Number: 41705
Caption: Y'know the interesting thing about cologne? The same cologne smells different on different people. Maybe it chemically interacts with an individual's ph or what not. On one man, it can smell like an ocean breeze, but on another man the same cologne might smell like six-year-old egg salad. Why are you telling me this? No reason. I'm not wearing cologne.
     
398. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-02 Pub. Date: 2009-12-02
Image Number: 41431
Caption: How on Earth did you arrange to interview a brutal Mexican drug lord? You should know. You're a shrink. Everyone on Earth is the hero of his or her own story. And everyone feels he or she is misunderstood. So if you offer him or her the chance to set his or her record straight, he or she will almost always jump at the chance. Oh, man. Or woman. Huh?
     
399. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-01 Pub. Date: 2009-12-01
Image Number: 41430
Caption: "I don't know how you tracked me down, Senor Lemont, but it's true: I am 'El Chacal,' leader of the most barbaric Mexican drug cartel. There is no mystery, here, little journalist. All the carnage and disappearances in La Ciudad Juarez are part of our drug war. I would like to thank our sponsors: the greed of local officials whose pockets we line, and the misguided American 'War on Drugs' that makes our product so incredibly valuable." He really said all that? Either that or "Prepare to die, dog-man." Worst translator, ever.
     
400. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-29 Pub. Date: 2009-11-29
Image Number: 41226
Caption: Cough drop? What that is, black cherry? Tsk. What do you mean 'tsk'? I'm old school, dawg. I don't @#$% around with no "black cherry," or "strawberry." I keep it real, man. MENTHOL. The HARD stuff. You can feel it burning all in your passages. We're getting old. Let's go run through them sprinklers. Too little, too late.
     
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