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Candorville

Comics about men.

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361. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-29 Pub. Date: 2011-04-29
Image Number: 96486
Caption: Meanwhile, on a non-descript, barren street, two disheveled men sit alone. The first man turns to the second and says … … what? Silent moment pass. It grows awkward. Upon receiving no reply, the first one grows more and more agitated, until he finally says ... ... STOP THAT. (Originally published 2011-07-25).
     
362. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-16 Pub. Date: 2011-04-16
Image Number: 59641
Caption: Sasha Mitchell said back in college she wanted to "give" you a baby? Yeah, isn't that flattering? What is this, the Victorian Age? A baby is a precious soul two people bring into the world together, not a "thing" to be "given" to a man like a gift! I kinda wish bustles would come back bustles were cool. I CAN'T STAND IT!!!
     
363. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-13 Pub. Date: 2011-04-13
Image Number: 59638
Caption: I can't open the door, Lemont. Mommy said never to open the door for grown-ups when she's not here. That's it! I can't stand it! I'm never getting custody of m son! Life is a cruel joke! My evil ex's mother is the judge! My lawyer is a six-year-old brat with chicken pox! Go to your room, young man. Huh? That's what Mommy always says when I throw a tantrum. Surprisingly it works. To Hell ... o Kitty ... with you! You can also try sitting in the corner.
     
364. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-10 Pub. Date: 2011-04-10
Image Number: 59402
Caption: Do you really think Kelly is capable of loving you? Huh? Kelly says all the right things to make you feel she needs you and understands you better than anyone ever could. That she's your "soul mate." She makes you feel alive. That's why you stubbornly ignore all the signs that show she odes not love you. She's using you to fulfill her own need for power and control. That's why every time you show her she's got you, she gets bored or annoyed and stops talking to you. Make no mistake, when she's not talking with you, she's seducing other people. The act of winning a man's unconditional love is the ultimate high, for her. It makes HER feel alive. She'll be back as soon as she tires of them or thinks she's losing you. But i text her every to tell her she's losing me, and she still hasn't come back.
     
365. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-28 Pub. Date: 2011-03-28
Image Number: 59012
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I know you're not there 'cause you're at your custody hearing. But I want you to come home to this message: I know you're worried you'll lose, but … You're a good man, Lemont, and I have faith in you. Besides, there's a sign: Your lawyer, who had no faith in your case, disappeared. And his six-year-old nephew took over, and you say he's doing a surprisingly good job. Nothing is so persuasive as the heartfelt words of an innocent child. His taking over your case was a sign, Lemont. And signs are important. Nah, I'm here. Had to get a 2-week continuance. My lawyer has the chicken pox. Signs are overrated. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
366. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-19 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-19 Pub. Date: 2011-03-19
Image Number: 58581
Caption: The Galapagos woodpecker uses sticks to help it obtain food. Would you call that "unnatural"? Of course not! The woodpecker is an animal. It's "natural," so anything it does is also natural. Man is also an animal. Mankind is "natural" too. So everything we do, from using sticks, to creating so-called "artificial" sugar, is also natural. You are so not giving up diet cola. Would you ask a woodpecker to give up his stick?
     
367. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-14 Pub. Date: 2011-03-14
Image Number: 58576
Caption: I was gonna come waste my valuable time testifying at your custody hearing last night, Big L … but my grandma died, all sudden an' #@$%*. Oh man … I'm sorry to hear that, Clyde. I really am … but the hearing's still going on. You can come tonight. Um ... sure-wait ... tonight? Can't dawg. We expecting her to have a relapse tonight. Wait ... I was at your grandma's funeral. In 1994. It's a chronic thing.
     
368. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-11 Pub. Date: 2011-03-11
Image Number: 58317
Caption: It seems like the "adjustment bureau" is just a movie version of Fringe's "The Observer" characters. Men in suits and fedoras who guide everyone's fate. I know what you're gonna say: "But Lemont, Fringe is about a war between two alternate realities." Hey! Stop! You shedding cool points like dandruff! ... And "but Lemont, the observers only make sure the most pivotal events happen, whereas the Adjustment Bureau controls every little thing." Sometimes it's nice to just stretch out.
     
369. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-25 Pub. Date: 2011-02-25
Image Number: 57546
Caption: Finally, as the elderly man you now see before you, Lemont Brown has become the paragon of responsibility. Except for the part about having had a love-child with a woman he doesn't even like, which led to him suing her for custody and us all being here today. I'm not even sure how that one happened, it's so out of character for him. But other than that ... paragon of responsible-ness, all the way. I'm only mumblety-five!
     
370. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-13 Pub. Date: 2011-02-13
Image Number: 57044
Caption: Let's say you DID give a brutha $2 to get you some Doritos … Let's say instead of acquiring said Doritos, this dexterous young man adroitly utilized it to procure a propitious thesaurus app for his iPhone. And let's say this gentlemen intents to employ commodious colloquy to obfuscate and confound while absconding with other people's currency. Hypodermically speaking, of course.
     
371. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-03 Pub. Date: 2011-02-03
Image Number: 56818
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I can't believe you're having woman troubles, Lemont. I always imagined you being really happy and having tons of women to choose from. Are you sure you're talking to the right person? I'm Lemont Brown. We met in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley in 1994. Yes, Lemont. I'm talking to the right man. I'm 5'6", favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch, waist 32, inseam ... Tap tap tap tap.
     
372. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-13 Pub. Date: 2011-01-13
Image Number: 56140
Caption: What do you think about that whole "The man is the head, the woman is the neck" theory? Don't tell anyone, but … I'm fine with it. I like a man who's a MAN. Who takes care of business. I don't like wimps. Neck's cool. As long as I'm right there connected to the head. Any man who thinks I'm a toe has some hurt waiting for him. Technically, the toe IS connected to the head.
     
373. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-12 Pub. Date: 2011-01-12
Image Number: 56139
Caption: My mom always said the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck, and the neck moves the head. Yeah, but if it weren't for the head sending impulses to the neck, the neck couldn't do a thing. You're not supposed to think that deeply into it. Are you talking? Necks don't have mouths.
     
374. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-04 Pub. Date: 2011-01-04
Image Number: 55832
Caption: How's the resolution thing going? Still holding doors open for people behind you? Yeh, I was at Roscoe's Rib Shack … held the door open for an old man. Fool walked right through WITHOUT THANKING ME! Can you beleedat? Can I what? So then I had words with him. As soon as he agreed to be more courteous, I released him from the headlock. Wait ... what?
     
375. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-29 Pub. Date: 2010-12-29
Image Number: 55684
Caption: Your honor, I DEMAND a continuance! I'm suing my evil ex-fiancee for custody, and my lawyer is nowhere to be found! Who's the short man standing next to you in a suit? That's no man! That's my lawyer's six-year-nephew, pretending to be him! Not wise to insult your own attorney, Mr. Brown. Permission to treat him as a hostile witless!
     
376. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-10 Pub. Date: 2010-11-10
Image Number: 53958
Caption: Life isn't fair, Lemont. I'm a mumblety-five-year-old man, Doc, you don't have to tell me that. I think I do, because you seem to think being a good person means bad things shouldn't happen to you. But life is about learning to appreciate the bad things ... because they make the good so much more special. I'm gonna be up to my $%# in SPECIAL by the time I'm mumblety-six. You might want to get that mole checked!
     
377. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-03 Pub. Date: 2010-11-03
Image Number: 53692
Caption: Hello, you've reached Loafer Meeks, "The Law Guy"! This outgoing message is brought to you by that homeless man in the alley. Wanna get rid of that annoying pocket-jingle caused by spare change? Stop by today for service with a smile! I can't wait till this recession is over. Also brought to you by Preparation I ... for when H just doesn't cut it.
     
378. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-02 Pub. Date: 2010-11-02
Image Number: 53691
Caption: I'm voting for the guy who hates Washington the most! It's just like when I choose a dentist. I don't want one of those weaklings who's gonna coddle my teeth with x-rays and flouride and fillings. When my teeth demand costly procedures, I want a dentist who's going to man-up and say "not on my watch!" Mint? Why, thank you!
     
379. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-31 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-31 Pub. Date: 2010-10-31
Image Number: 53539
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote against everyone in power, even if it means replacing them with the people who caused this problem in the first place. Dios mio. Can't you tell?
     
380. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-24 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-24 Pub. Date: 2010-08-24
Image Number: 51237
Caption: All she ever did was worry about her weight, and men, and her mom. Happy Retirement Cathy. I swear, she set the cause of feminism back by years. Decades! … by voicing the same anxieties I'm afraid to acknowledge because I think it'll make me seem weak. Good riddance! I'll miss her.
     
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