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Candorville

Comics about men.

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261. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-21 Pub. Date: 2013-10-21
Image Number: 102926
Caption: My son needs speech therapy, but I don’t have the money. Insurance will cover it, but only once he turns three. Should I wait till he's three … … Or should I have him lie about his age and risk teaching him it’s ok to deceive; which'll possibly lead to a career in politics? This end up. Why e'erebody treat "risk" like it a four-letter word? Man up. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
262. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-16 Pub. Date: 2013-10-16
Image Number: 102720
Caption: Man, Clyde, my son's lisp is driving me crazy. Half the time, I have no idea what he's saying. "The Dude Abides." Thug 4 Life. It's unfortunate you can't stand listening to your own kid, bro. What? That's not what I said. That gon' mess up his self-esteem when I'm forced to tell him about it. (A) I'm still not loaning you $2, and (B) extortion is illegal unless you're in congress. So you're refusing to have a "conversation"?
     
263. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-15 Pub. Date: 2013-10-15
Image Number: 102719
Caption: Daddy, why do they caw it a buttewfwy? Doth it tathte wike buttew? Um … What? I thed, "why-do-they-caw-it-a-buttewfwy-doth-it-tathte-wike buttew." Um … I'm not sure what you're saying, son. Maybe you have a heawing pwobwem wike Ms. Washidi at day cawe. Ow wite it down fow you, daddy. (Sigh) I ahve no idea what that says, son. Oh man. You'w iwwitewit. too?
     
264. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-11 Pub. Date: 2013-10-11
Image Number: 102500
Caption: Republicans in the House seem to think if they don’t like somethin', they don’t have to pay the bills. Thug 4 Life. It's just like when my man Wesley Snipes refused to pay his taxes. I think Wesley Snipes should be Speaker of the House. Thank God For Culture Clash. I don't wanna see John Boehner be Blade, though, so I'ma have to deliberate on this some more. I feel dumber for having heard all that.
     
265. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-29 Pub. Date: 2013-09-29
Image Number: 101660
Caption: I just saw "The Business of Being Born." Ever seen that? What that is? It's a documentary about how birth doesn’t need to be treated like an illness. Did you know America has a really high infant mortality rate, even though we have the costliest birth procedures in the world? Did you know the drugs they pump into women in hospitals may be really bad for both mother and child? Did you know we MEN, so that don't have spit to do with us? YOU WERE BORN, WEREN'T YOU?! That's momma business, not mine.
     
266. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-07 Pub. Date: 2013-09-07
Image Number: 101092
Caption: Obama's a war criminal. All the bombings and the drones and such … It didn’t bother you when Bush's wars killed a lot more people. Obama's a tyrant. All the spying and the prosecuting leakers and such … All Bush's snooping didn’t bother you one bit. Obama's lazy. He's always on vacation and golfing and such ... Bush took far more vacations. Didn't bother you at all, I recall. I suppose you're implying I only care now because Obama's black. That makes you a racist. Oh man, not the "race card" card.
     
267. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-22 Pub. Date: 2013-08-22
Image Number: 100554
Caption: Lemont … Have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, SOME guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was FLEXING his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turn off. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
268. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-20 Pub. Date: 2013-08-20
Image Number: 100552
Caption: Why we be watchin' a home improvement show, Big L? We both RENTERS. Why'd you turn it to business news? Neither of us got no investments. Why'd you turn it to "Facts Of Life" reruns, both of us MEN, dawg. You want me to turn it to "I Owe Big L $2, I'd Better Pay Him Back"? Quiet. Tootie 'bout to say something.
     
269. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-11 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-11 Pub. Date: 2013-08-11
Image Number: 99766
Caption: There's such a thing as too much honesty. What? Dr. Noodle. Some lies are ok. M.A. Never in a marriage. Especially in a marriage. What's more important to you, being honest? Or being compassionate and not humiliating your spouse? Wait … Are you saying that if he's honest about my opinions, I'll be humiliated? He's insulting my opinions, dear. What kind of a man just sits there and lets a stranger insult his wife's opinions? PhD. That's not what I was doing. Are you calling me a liar? This is so much more fun as a spectator.
     
270. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-06 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-06 Pub. Date: 2013-08-06
Image Number: 100032
Caption: DATE-A-CHICK.COM. Suggestion: write a headline that makes you sound a bit dangerous. Headline: I'm the one … Headline: … Yoda warned Luke about before Luke went into the cave on Dagoba. Suggestion: Do not follow that suggestion.
     
271. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-15 Pub. Date: 2013-07-15
Image Number: 99240
Caption: What up, Big L? I told you not to call me that, Clyde. It's like you're calling me fat. It makes me all self-conscious. Thug 4 Life. It ain't even like that, dawg. It's one a them ironic nicknames. I be callin' you "Big L" 'cause you the opposite of "big." Oh. Ok. You actually a short little man.
     
272. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-22 Pub. Date: 2013-06-22
Image Number: 98188
Caption: Where have all the butterflies gone, Susan? Good question. See, this is why I'm more comfortable with a female best friend. I can ask you a simple question about a bug without you questioning my manhood. Think there'll ever be another "Sex and the City" movie? Don't push it.
     
273. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-14 Pub. Date: 2013-06-14
Image Number: 97913
Caption: You know what I love about the comics, Susan? They make me forget about all the awfulness. For ten minutes, I get to pretend the world is nothing but goofy people doing goofy things. I get to pretend that things like prostate screenings don’t even exist. It's not gonna be as bad as you think, Lemont. You never see a doctor probing Garfield's censored.
     
274. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-10 Pub. Date: 2013-06-10
Image Number: 97909
Caption: You haven't responded to our last offer, Brown. We want you back. This spying-on-reporters'-emails story is heating up, and we want our top man on the case. The Candorville Chronicle. What's it going to take to seal the deal, Brown? $900k? Day care for your son? A house on the moon? A guarantee you'll still be in business in a year. Your demands are outrageous.
     
275. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-14 Pub. Date: 2013-05-14
Image Number: 96900
Caption: A 94-year-old World War II veteran visits Lemont's dream. This reminds me of the platform I stood on in 1941, waiting for the train to boot camp. A few white men surrounded me and said "sing a song for us." Uh-oh … What'd you say? I said "I don’t sing." Then they said "Well, dance for us." Do you know what I said? What'd you say, sir? "I don't dance." I tell you this not to complain ... But to tell you you draw lines in life. And you don't cross them. I don't draw.
     
276. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-13 Pub. Date: 2013-05-13
Image Number: 96899
Caption: Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the train station? I'm going home. Huh? I'm sleeping, I'm not going anywhere. Who are you, anyway? My name's Emmett Roscoe Bell Sr. I'm not rich or famous. I raised a family. I was a bus driver for over 40 years. I served in World War II. I'm a normal working-class man. I did the best I could with the 94 years God gave me.
     
277. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-05 Pub. Date: 2013-05-05
Image Number: 96084
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my vintage 1980's Flash Gordon tank top? Your WHAT? It was one of the last survivors of a more enlightened age …. … When real men weren't afraid to wear loose-fitting tank tops and bright, colorful booty shorts. I've been saving them all my life, for when that comes back in style. Ok, what goin' happen now is, you gonna back up about five feet ... ... An' I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened. GIVE ME BACK MY BOOTY SHORTS!
     
278. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-02 Pub. Date: 2013-05-02
Image Number: 96489
Caption: More people than ever are giving us money. A weaker man might worry about that. A weaker man might panic when his faith in the constancy of man's self-absorption is challenged. A weaker man might fear it means more people are identifying with us because their entire economic system is collapsing. You're seriously not going to lend me a nickel? I refuse to frighten weaker men. (Originally published 2011-07-28).
     
279. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-18 Pub. Date: 2013-04-18
Image Number: 95773
Caption: Me am sign. Me hold man hostage. Will free for $2 ransom. Otherwise will eat.
     
280. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-14 Pub. Date: 2013-04-14
Image Number: 95260
Caption: My fiancée's family hates me. As long as she's with me, they'll treat her as an outcast. I feel so guilty about dividing the family. Dr. Noodle. How do I fix this? You have two options … You can suck up to them and hope that will win the affections of the sort of people who think it's their right to judge you ... ... Or you can be a good man, lead a life of integrity, be content that you know you're good for her, and don't give a @#$% what other people think. So you're saying changing my name and getting plastic surgery ISN'T one of the options?
     
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