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Rudy Park

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-18 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144579
Caption: Do you think you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA, Randy? Let me see, little buddy … Will I ever get tired of encountering some of the most interesting people in the world … like Beyonce, and Rihanna, and Emilia Clarke, and Amber Heard, and Jennifer Lawrence, and the rest ... and making sure their pat-downs are completely professions yet totally thorough? This is why I never fly anywhere anymore. As long as blood pumps through my veins, I will never tire of this job.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-15 Pub. Date: 2016-06-15
Image Number: 144576
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses."
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-05 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-05 Pub. Date: 2016-06-05
Image Number: 143454
Caption: Play me that 1980s show "St. Elsewhere," in order, starting with the pilot episode. Processing request … Make it high definition, thought, not that fuzzy old-timey look all those early eighties shows have. And add some music to it that plays constantly. Music that tells me how to feel during the scenes. And instead of the doctors looking tired and overworked, make them always look like they just stepped out of a shower after having a long night's rest. Error: I cannot do any of that. Never mind. Just show me any doctor show from the last ten years or so. Loading ...
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-02 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-02 Pub. Date: 2016-06-02
Image Number: 143939
Caption: Come in, minion. Did you read that Lemont Brown article from Candorville.com? The one about Delores Park in San Francisco? Apparently you can now reserve a patch of grass for seven hours if you go to the city's website and pay up to $250. If anyone trespasses on your grass, security guards will roust them. This is the biggest breakthrough in the separation of the classes in ages. I'm going to make all our booths and toilets paid-reservation-only. Very bad man.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-31 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-31 Pub. Date: 2016-05-31
Image Number: 143937
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John Miller" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My problem is tremendous. It's so big it's unbelievable: Why is crooked Hillary even allowed to run for president? She should be behind bars, in my totally impartial opinion. I know it's you, Trump! I'm not Trump. Would I love to be Trump? Of course! Who wouldn't?! Trump makes tremendous things happen for everyone who's fantastically lucky enough to be around him. Stop calling me, Trump!
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-28 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143660
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I earn $80k, and I just got a side gig that'll pay me $38k. But my tax guy says that'll make me owe $30k extra in taxes! So for all this extra work I'm doing, I'll only take home about $8,000! What's the point of even trying to get ahead?! Excellent question. It reminds me of the time my pa worked his entire life away in a coal mine in return for a burlap sack and one monthly chicken. Stop yer sniveling, you pampered princess!!!
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-25 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143657
Caption: I've been giving some more thought to your question about in which era in history I'd most like to live. You have? I thought you never change your mind about anything. This is true. Randy's alpha male or female rule number 1: "Make a decision and stick with it even it it's really dumb." HOJ. " ... Appearing indecisive is the kiss of death." But you're forgetting the corollary ... "If you do change your mind, claim you've always believed as you do now." " ... and anyone who thinks otherwise is crazy." Can't believe I forgot that part.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-16 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-16 Pub. Date: 2016-05-16
Image Number: 143350
Caption: I told you Donald Trump was going to be the Republican nominee. You called it, Randy. But he has no chance of winning the presidency. Way too many people hate the guy. That's why he's going to win. Read "Randy's Guide to Life as an Alpha," Chapter 18 … "If you can't make them love you, make them love to hate you." I really need to buy your books.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-14 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-14 Pub. Date: 2016-05-14
Image Number: 143044
Caption: You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter … only instead of search-and-kill ops … your missions consist of charming your way through life and avoiding serious romantic entanglements.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-11 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-11 Pub. Date: 2016-05-11
Image Number: 143041
Caption: What's your earliest memory, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I was five years old. An alien crash-landed and I found it hiding in my closet. I befriended it and taught it to have fun. But eventually it got sick, and the government stepped in. That's when I helped the alien make its escape and reunited it with its parents. That sounds awfully familiar, Randy. I was a child. When some writer offered to option the story in return for a pack of Bubblicious, I thought it was a good deal.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-06 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-06 Pub. Date: 2016-04-06
Image Number: 141527
Caption: I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong … or the critics are all right. You wouldn't know, because you don't pay any attention to film critics. You make up your own mind. Chapter Two: The snack bar doesn't exist to you. You're not some horse feeding at a trough.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-27 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140308
Caption: To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks … or to take arms against the sea of haters, and by Googling links that prove them wrong, end them. To stop updating, to pause - to pause - perchance to browse the tweets of others ... Ay, there's the rub, for in that browsing state what dreams may come when we have re'lized others are wittier than we. But that the dread of something after tweeting, the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no burned-out Twitter-pundit returns, puzzles the will, and does make anonymous haters of us all. Thus 'tis better to never stop tweeting, and never to read the tweets of others.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-11 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-11 Pub. Date: 2016-03-11
Image Number: 140201
Caption: Why do people say they're "lying through their teeth"? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-06 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139362
Caption: Breaking news! The Brazilian Zika virus is spreading explosively! Experts say it could be a bigger global health threat that Ebola! Most people infected with the disease won't feel any symptoms at all and those who do will probably just think it's a minor cold, experts say. Of course, if you're pregnant or may get pregnant, the virus may give your child a tiny microcephalic head. Otherwise no biggee. Wait ... what? Experts say concern over this calamitous virus is overblown. This is really no big deal at all. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!!! Experts say this mostly innocuous virus could ravage the entire globe.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-21 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 138713
Caption: Rudy, I'd like you to broaden your skill-set. What for, boss? You have a real flair for making coffee. House of Java Cybercafe. But the era of the specialist is over. These days, workers must be able to perform the duties of several people. A lot of political cartoonists are now expected to also draw bar graphs and write articles covering the local car wash openings. I fired my long-time dentist so I could hire one who'd agree to also paint my bathroom. Workers specializing in just one thing is a historical aberration, anyway. For most of human history, people had to catch their own food, make their own clothes, dig their own graves ... and give offerings to their overlords. How good are you at painting bathrooms and performing root canals? How hard can that be? I'll go see if there's a root canal on Youtube.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-16 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139253
Caption: I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time. What do you mean? Every major religion believes it's possible to speak things into existence. If you say you're a failure, you eventually become a failure. But if you SAY you're a winner over and over again, you can actually talk the universe into believing it. It'll make you a winner no matter how often you go bankrupt. So you agree Trump's going to win?
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-29 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-29 Pub. Date: 2016-01-29
Image Number: 138317
Caption: Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-13 Pub. Date: 2016-01-13
Image Number: 137683
Caption: I've decided to take your advice and try something other than tea. What changed your mind? It occurred to me that if I try something you suggested, I may find that I detest it. I may hate it with every fiber of my being. It may even make me feel sick. AND THEN I'LL GET TO BLAME YOU! Always happy to help. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-12).
     
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