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Rudy Park

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-12 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154923
Caption: I can't believe I missed out on the whole beard craze last year. I'm not making the same mistake this year. What do you think of my reverse-beard? I do believe I'm the first person to rock one of these babies. Well … "Well" what? To "rock" something is also very last-year, if you ask me. Oh. You're right. And "babies" is kind of outdated too. I do believe I'm the first person to classical one of these elderlies. Keep trying.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-28 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-28 Pub. Date: 2017-02-28
Image Number: 155085
Caption: I suppose you'd like to know why I summoned you here at 3am, minion. Not really. My studies show there's a 0.0067% uptick in coffee sales when you appear sleepier than the patrons. Come again? My theory is that's because seeing you falling asleep on your feet subconsciously makes customers feel like they need more caffeine ... From now on, you're only to sleep three non-consecutive hours per day. Very bad mazzzzz ...
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-24 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154817
Caption: Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making role, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-16 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154553
Caption: You know, replacing Rudy with a robot isn't going to go over well with us customers. Why not? Some customers come in just to see what he'll say next. Some come in 'cause he makes them feel better about themselves. And some of us come in because we actually like the little guy. Well you'll all be happy to hear I'm not replacing him. That was just a scurrilous rumor. Something's different about you. Exterminate!
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-15 Pub. Date: 2017-02-15
Image Number: 154552
Caption: To be honest, dorkboy, I would be deeply saddened to see you lose your job to a robot. You would? Of course. You know why I come here every day to drink the swill you refer to as chamomile tea? It's because I'm a human being, and human beings needs the company of other human beings. And despite living a vapid life full of fakebook relationships, you, Rudy Park, are a human being ... or at a least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Plus, it's hard to make a robot weep like a baby. You almost never make me weep like a baby.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-06 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-06 Pub. Date: 2017-02-06
Image Number: 154255
Caption: Congress is the worst. I didn't know you were into politics. I'm not. But I heard they only have a 19% approval rating. That means 81% of people hate them. I don't wanna be left out of the movement, in fact, I want to be ahead of the curve. You think I can make "wishing chicken pox upon them" catch on? Probably.
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-03 Pub. Date: 2017-02-03
Image Number: 153981
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I caught my wife with another man, and I threw her out. But ever since, she's been telling me I didn't see what I know I saw. She said he was only performing acupuncture. I said "There were no needles," and she said "Yes there were." I said "What kind of acupuncturist doesn't wear clothes?" and she said "He was wearing clothes." And she say it like she really believes it ... which makes me think maybe I did imagine it. Believe your eyes, you ninny! She said her "alternative facts" were just as valid as mine. Maybe she has a point.
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-27 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-27 Pub. Date: 2017-01-27
Image Number: 153711
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I'm trying to buy a house, but my lender is dragging its feet. Lender? Lender?! Stop begging for handouts! Do what we did in the old days … scrimp and save and buy a house for cash. And if you can't then you move somewhere cheaper. And if there is nowhere cheaper, start a rumor of a nearby toxic waste dump and MAKE IT cheaper. Yes, ma'am.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-21 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153433
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: The Talk. Specifically, how to have "the talk" with your younguns before they hear about it on the streets or from their president. The best thing to do is to use the tried and true Cohen method: Teach your child that within the pants of every member of the opposite sex lurks a monster that'll drain them of ambition, turn them into mindless automatons, and cause them to make fools of themselves. I'm talking, of course, about iPhones. Keep your younguns off the tweeter-machine!
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-15 Pub. Date: 2017-01-15
Image Number: 152478
Caption: Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier, your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky." It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that you're full of it.
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-11 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153094
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? 2016. Stop that! A year is just an arbitrary span of time, it's not a malevolent entity. Um … except for 1974. That was a puke-green and orange monster that forced normal people to dress like clowns. That demon keeps trying to make a comeback. Eternal vigilance. That is the price we pay. O ... K ...
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-09 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-09 Pub. Date: 2017-01-09
Image Number: 153092
Caption: You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-04 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152863
Caption: All I said was, thanks to Sadie, I know what's wrong with the Middle East. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. It's the birthplace of civilization. It's the dysfunctional family home from whence we all came. It's ruled by a stubborn and cranky old know-it-all mother with a superiority complex. She never changes, which is why the kids, once they came of age, got the heck outta there and only come by once in a while to referee her arguments with dad and make sure they're still in her will ... and for some reason, that upset her. This means jihad.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-01 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-01 Pub. Date: 2017-01-01
Image Number: 152000
Caption: Quadruple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. Doctors schmoctors. What do those ivy league elitists know? Pardon? If I think caffeine's exactly what I need, who are they to tell me otherwise? They're your doctors. How condescending of these arrogant "doctors" to think they know more than I do about my own bone strength and blood pressure. This is Donald Trump's America. Where the homespun beliefs of the common man trump the knowledge of specialists. Make my coffee great again!!! Nice try, Uncle Mort.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-18 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-18 Pub. Date: 2016-12-18
Image Number: 151672
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've called you in to the café at 3am, minion. Too tired to wonder, boss. It's come to my attention that you're underreporting your cash tips by a whopping average of 0.003%. And that's impacting me. The whole reason I'm allowed to pay you less than minimum wage ... is because tips are supposed to make up the difference. When tips fall short, I'm supposed to raise your pay. I think we can both agree that that's an absolutely unthinkable horror of biblical proportions. But I've come up with a plan that I think you'll agree is a win-win solution. You'll give me all your tips, and I'll keep you on as an unpaid intern and consider not turning you in. "Win-win" isn't supposed to mean you win twice!
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-28 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151568
Caption: Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." Go away! A decisive man has decisive bowels. Go away!
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-21 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-21 Pub. Date: 2016-11-21
Image Number: 151306
Caption: I told you way back in 2015 that Donald Trump would be the next president. You called it. You predicted every twist and turn of the election. It was eerie. What's going to happen next, Randy? What's going to happen to us all? Trump will fund research where they use my DNA to make everyone super hot and super chill, and we'll all live in sweet, sexy bliss. HOJ. I'm not sure whether I predicted the future, or whether the future obeyed me. So that one's just in case. Good thinking.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-19 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-19 Pub. Date: 2016-11-19
Image Number: 151041
Caption: I never asked you, what'd you do with that old shack you bought years ago? Which one? I've bought three. I have a whole portfolio of properties, Randy. Really? Yeah. There's the old shack by the toxic waste dump, there's the cardboard box in an alley in downtown Candorville, and there's that inner tube in the Pacific Ocean. Sad thing is, the way things are going, you're going to make a killing on those someday. You should see what I'm getting for those on AirBnB.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-12 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-12 Pub. Date: 2016-11-12
Image Number: 150765
Caption: The election's over, boss, I don't think anyone wants reminded of it. Who's reminding them? All I asked you to do is make a few teensy little changes to our café's billboards. Change them from "House of Java beats Coffee King in 9 out of 10 taste tests: to "Crooked Coffee King is the most corrupt cafe in history. They're absolutely terrible." Nobody wants to see ads that remind them of Donald Trump!!! And change our print ads to "Coffee King should be in jail, believe me."
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-11 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2016-11-11
Image Number: 150764
Caption: Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadieâ„¢ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out of my life. She and he were always a little too close anyway. - C. Post, Seattle WA. Maybe for my midlife crisis, I'll try oversharing! It seems to make you happy. Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
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