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Rudy Park

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261. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-15 Pub. Date: 2014-06-15
Image Number: 111864
Caption: I'll have a coffee. One coffee coming up. No wait! Make that one mocha. Mocha. Ok. No wait! Make that a jasmine tea. Ok. No wait! I can't decide. Why don’t you choose for me? You work here. You know the menu intimately. I'm sure you've tried it all, so your opinion is very important. The iced vanilla latte is pretty good. I'm not sure I'm even thirsty. Give me a fish sandwich. No wait ...
     
262. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-10 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-10 Pub. Date: 2014-06-10
Image Number: 112389
Caption: Why'd the chicken cross the road? Lamest joke ever. It's not a joke. This morning I ran over a chicken. But it was his fault. Come again? He was on the wrong side of the road. What'd he think this was, England? He didn’t even stay in the bike lane. This conversation's making me hungry.
     
263. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-08 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-08 Pub. Date: 2014-06-08
Image Number: 111628
Caption: I've switched to e-books but nature has yet to thank me. Thank you for using something that takes 33 pounds of minerals to make. Thank you for increasing energy consumption. Thank you for using something that'll someday seep toxins into the ground water while decomposing in landfills. Nobody likes a sarcastic tree.
     
264. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-01 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-01 Pub. Date: 2014-06-01
Image Number: 111310
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park. O tardigrade, o tardigrade, o microscopic tardigrade … Invulnerable invertebrate you disapprove those who venerate … Nay, consecrate the vertebrates. Your tiny size cannot negate - in any way invalidate ... Depreciate ... Eliminate your innate state of "great." Almost all life thou doth predate. Mass extinctions? ... You tolerate. While dinosaurs, they meet their fate, you propagate and populate. You survive almost anyplace ... from deepest seas to outer space. To those who try to make a case that having 'no backbone's" disgrace, I point you out, o tardigrade and say ... IN ... YOUR ... FACE! See, Claire?! I'm not the only one who thinks backbones are overrated! Shut up, dear. Ok.
     
265. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-27 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-27 Pub. Date: 2014-05-27
Image Number: 111859
Caption: I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don’t even have a HINT of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."
     
266. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-24 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-24 Pub. Date: 2014-05-24
Image Number: 111627
Caption: Rudy, your fellow employees are complaining about your body odor. I'm your only employee. You reek of asbestos. Do you have some sort of disorder that makes you reek of asbestos? The health department wouldn’t be inspecting the café, today, would it? I've made an appoint for you with my doctor in the alley. He'll give you a note.
     
267. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-22 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-22 Pub. Date: 2014-05-22
Image Number: 111625
Caption: When I was in jail, I passed the time by writing my autobiography. I took certain liberties with some of the characters. For instance, you appear in the later chapters … … but instead of being a typical modern loser who lets his gadgets do his thinking for him, you're an escaped zoo baboon who keeps poking himself in they eye with a stick. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU A MORE INDUSTRIOUS CHARACTER! I'll wait for the movie.
     
268. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-08 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-08 Pub. Date: 2014-05-08
Image Number: 111088
Caption: Your generation pushes a few buttons and makes a napp for your me-phone and calls that "initiative." In my day, initiative took muscle! It took moxie! The year was 1930. The depression. Ruined lives. Ruined futures. Ruined cities. And in those ruined cities, rats began to run rampant. One buxom young lass with a hammer and a dream seized the opportunity. You kids today would never have the moxie to smack your way across the country. What's a "hammer"?
     
269. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-03 Pub. Date: 2014-05-03
Image Number: 110794
Caption: Hi, I'd like one small coffee, and no small talk. What? I'm on to you barristas. Always making small talk, where you say something cool and then when I reply, you look at me as if what I said was lame. I just want to order, pay and leave without having any human interaction that could make me feel inadequate. STOP JUDGING ME! Have you thought of buying yourself a Mr. Coffee?
     
270. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-26 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-26 Pub. Date: 2014-04-26
Image Number: 110516
Caption: I'm done with the internet. But you've discovered you can used it for Scrabble and flaming people. Crushing losers in online Scrabble and making them cry is great. But it's so much less satisfying than doing so in person. Really? DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU TECH-ADDLED, BAD-BREATHED, GIRLFRIEDLESS iPHONE JOCKEY? Don't you ever try to get me hooked on that crud again. This is war. Again.
     
271. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-25 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-25 Pub. Date: 2014-04-25
Image Number: 110515
Caption: Coffee, jerk! What's the matter? Sadie discovered flaming, i.e. hostile and insulting interaction among internet users. It's been incredible. Who can sleep when you've got endless opportunity to make people feel like crud about themselves?! I also need prescription drugs and steroids. Flaming out.
     
272. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-22 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-22 Pub. Date: 2014-04-22
Image Number: 110512
Caption: People play Scrabble on Facebook or their iPhone? Of course. Want to try it? Absolutely not! … No can do … Maybe … I suppose. But only to make fun of losers who waste their lives playing stupid computer games! I am saying this with a straight face. Your capacities in that regard know no equal.
     
273. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-15 Pub. Date: 2014-04-15
Image Number: 110182
Caption: Yesterday, before you insulted me, you showed me how you can use your me-phone to make your voice sound like someone else's. Let's say you, theoretically, left your phone on the counter. … And let's say someone paid a six-year-old a nickel to make the phone sound like you ... so that someone could call every single female listed in your "black book" file and say things that would totally and irrevocably humiliate you. ... And let's say that person discovered that every one of those listings dials your mother. Busted.
     
274. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109296
Caption: Did you see "Cosmos"? No. It was mind-blowing. Didn't it make you feel small to see how huge the cosmos is? Nah. The opposite. It mad me realize that in all the vast reaches of space, with all the trillions of planets capable of supporting life … … and at all points in the past and in the future, there is, has been, and ever will be ... ... Only one me. How can you feel small when you realize something like that? I hadn't teared up like that since the last time I gazed longingly at myself in the mirror. Too much information.
     
275. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-12 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-12 Pub. Date: 2014-04-12
Image Number: 109907
Caption: You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter … … Only instead of search-and-kill ops … Your mission consists of charming your way through life and avoiding serious romantic entanglements.
     
276. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-25 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-25 Pub. Date: 2014-03-25
Image Number: 109291
Caption: BEEEP! Where did that come from? It's happening every couple of minutes. It's making me very angr … BEEEP! Seriously, I'm going to hurt somebody, bad. Sorry, this one's out of our control. Stay tuned … BEEEP!
     
277. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-16 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-16 Pub. Date: 2014-03-16
Image Number: 108945
Caption: I can't believe I missed out on the whole beard craze last year. I'm not making the same mistake this year. What do you think of my REVERSE-BEARD? I do believe I'm the first person to rock one of these babies. Well … "Well" what? To "rock" something is also very last-year, if you ask me. Oh. You're right. And "babies" is kind of outdated too. I do believe I'm the first person to classical one of these elderlies. Keep trying.
     
278. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-15 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-15 Pub. Date: 2014-03-15
Image Number: 108587
Caption: Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?
     
279. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-05 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-05 Pub. Date: 2014-03-05
Image Number: 108284
Caption: You've really gotta find a new job. This job's not so bad. To drum up business, Armstrong's making you impersonate the deposed Ukrainian President in hopes of attracting the angry protesters who're searching for him. I'm sure every other job is just as bad. Do you know what they DO to deposed presidents?
     
280. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-03 Pub. Date: 2014-03-03
Image Number: 108282
Caption: Two weeks ago: The hunt for Ukraine's deposed president continues. Former President Yanukovych is still on the run, and thousands of angry Ukrainians are vowing to hunt him to the ends of the earth. Did you realize that anger and obsession make people thirsty? This cannot end well.
     
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