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Rudy Park

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241. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-19 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-19 Pub. Date: 2014-11-19
Image Number: 119144
Caption: You're on, caller. What's your problem?! I'm tired of all my liberal friends saying they want to move to Canada. Every four years, when liberals don’t vote and lose ground in congress, liberals say they're moving to Canada, which already has all the stuff they wish we had. Sometimes I think the only way I can make sure I never again hear someone say "I'm moving to Canada," is if I move to Canada. "The North American Paradox." That makes me a hypocrite. I'm not sure they allow hypocrites in Canada.
     
242. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-25 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-25 Pub. Date: 2014-10-25
Image Number: 117987
Caption: Welcome to ASK SADIE. You're on, Chicago. What's your problem? I'm not sure my children love me. How can. Stop. You know why your children don’t love you? Because you're an insecure, whiny toad and they can SMELL the desperation on you. Raising children is like any other relationship: you have to play hard-to-get! They have a runny nose? A boo-boo? They're hungry? Make them wait till you finish your phone call, do your hair, take your nap, have your supper ... Do your own children love you? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
243. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-10 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-10 Pub. Date: 2014-10-10
Image Number: 117419
Caption: Rudy, how many times per day do you brush your teeth? Four, when you average it out over a week. But that's only because I don’t have my wisdom teeth. Otherwise it'd be 4.5. Wait ... are you counting each and every tooth as a separate brushing? So in other words, you brush your teeth once a week? Stop using math to make me look bad.
     
244. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-09 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117418
Caption: Hey, Randy, you still in the café? Yeah. What's up? People don’t know how to drive. There I was driving along, when this guy pulled out right in front of me going 10 below the speed limit. Why do people do that? If a car's going faster than you, let it pass, don't pull right in front of it. Anyway, I think I may have left a can of cooking oil next to the stove. Can you make sure I turned off the burner? So how was your morning? You really need to prioritize the things you say.
     
245. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-28 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-28 Pub. Date: 2014-09-28
Image Number: 116264
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: "The Difference Between Us." You're all half a century younger than me … which makes me so very aflutter with glee. YOU think a Smartphone makes you a big champ … … But I saw Muhammad Ali. You think reading tweets lets you know somebody ... ... but each letter I read was caressed and indented and scented and carried the ESSENCE of whoever sent it. I'm trying to wake you from a "life" that's too thin! ... Or, barring that, BREAK you. Either way, win-win. Can you repeat that? I was watching YouTube. What's a "letter"?
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-20 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-20 Pub. Date: 2014-09-20
Image Number: 116553
Caption: YOU SHOVED HAGGIS IN MY EAR! WHO DOES THAT?! I couldn’t make it to Scotland. Scotland is trying to gain its independence from England after hundreds of years of being part of "Great Britain." But I can't make it over there. For the first time in history, a Cohen will not be personally present to heckle a major development. IT BURNS!!! Now take a selfsie and twit it with the hashtag "NOT-SO-GREAT-BRITAIN."
     
247. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-19 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-19 Pub. Date: 2014-09-19
Image Number: 116552
Caption: I hear you own a small plane. You will fly me to Scotland. Scotland? They're trying to break away from the United Kingdom. It's history in the making. Naturally, I must be there to heckle it. Sorry, Sadie, I have a hot date. BUT A COHEN HAS BEEN HECKLING HISTORY EVER SINCE SADIE THE ELDER TOLD CAESAR THOSE KNIVES MADE HIM LOOK FAT! Sorry. A date's a date.
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-13 Pub. Date: 2014-09-13
Image Number: 116263
Caption: All the police brutality in the news makes it seem like it's happening more. It's not? Of course not. We've had police brutality ever since we first had police. You youngsters don’t know what police brutality is. Everything you've seen on your TV is what's done by police who know they're probably being recorded. When I was your age, there were no cellphone cameras or dashboard cams. Imagine what cops did before cameras existed! Anything that happened before I was born is meaningless to me.
     
249. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-12 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-12 Pub. Date: 2014-09-12
Image Number: 116262
Caption: Did you hear Sadie's show today. DID I. My favorite part was when she made that construction worker who called in cry. She's a rare talent. It's amazing how she can peel grown men and women like an onion, find what makes them tick and squash it like a bug. Is she still around? Smile and assume she is, if you know what's good for you. Sadie sure topped herself today.
     
250. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-04 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-04 Pub. Date: 2014-09-04
Image Number: 115995
Caption: Burger King's buying a Canadian donut chain and relocating its headquarters to Canada to skip out on U.S. taxes. Amateurs. I've booked you an igloo even further north. You'll be negotiating the purchase of Blubber Brothers, a popular fast food chain among the Inuit. Congress decided to just make EVERYTHING legal, I guess. Actual Inuit stay in houses, but igloos were cheaper on Hotwire.
     
251. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-27 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-27 Pub. Date: 2014-08-27
Image Number: 115611
Caption: I want to develop a routine. It'll make me more interesting. How so? A person who regularly does the same things at the same time is boring. Either that, or he's establishing an alibi to cover for nefarious deeds he's controlling from a distance using apps on a disposable smart phone. I bet you're wondering what my other hand's doing under this table right now. Never say that sentence again in life.
     
252. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-18 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-18 Pub. Date: 2014-08-18
Image Number: 115308
Caption: Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.
     
253. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
254. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-03 Pub. Date: 2014-08-03
Image Number: 113807
Caption: Hot chocolate, straight. … Make it a double. Uh-oh. Something wrong, young man? I'm all ears. It's my parents. What about them? They told me I'm going to have a little brother. You're not happy about that? I'm not happy that they didn’t ask me first. As a bored member of this family, I expect to be consulted on all executive decisions. Wait ... what? Yeah. It's my right. I heard that bored members are supposed to be consulted. We're also supposed to get compensation packages, private jets and weekends in Vegas. Probably to make up for us being bored in the first place. I'm not sure either of us knows what you're talking about, kid.
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-01 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-01 Pub. Date: 2014-08-01
Image Number: 114436
Caption: Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that it exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java .net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.
     
256. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-09 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-09 Pub. Date: 2014-07-09
Image Number: 113515
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, You are amazingly funny. What is your secret? -Alexandria. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Losers. Pardon? Every time I see a whiny, pathetic, technology-addicted jerk, my only possible release is to make a joke at their expense. You hear this one? A Rudy walks into a bar with a bird on his head ... NOT FUNNY!
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-04 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-04 Pub. Date: 2014-07-04
Image Number: 113255
Caption: I want to know there's something valuable about me that won't ever pale in comparison to someone else. Really? That's the kind of desire that makes a lot of people turn to religion. Do Not Disturb. … Y'know, so they can feel like they have some unique role to play in some grand machine. Sounds good. Which religion is the best. I like commercianity. It has lots of games and movies and stuff.
     
258. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-22 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-22 Pub. Date: 2014-06-22
Image Number: 112161
Caption: EUREKA! Hide your loved ones and your wallet. You know how most Americans are overweight? And you know how studies show that by 2020, 75% of Americans will be overweight? And you know how other studies show that diet drinks may make it worse … … because they disrupt the brain's sweet sensors, causing people to snack more? That means, if you drink a sugar-rich drink, you'll actually SNACK LESS. That means we can rename all our sugar-rich drinks "diet" drinks. This is like the time you had me sell water as a "diet drink."
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-21 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-21 Pub. Date: 2014-06-21
Image Number: 112748
Caption: It's brilliant. Customers can have the opportunity to learn the secrets of making espresso drinks. We'll charge them double if they want to make their own, and get this … I'd rather not … triple if they want the privilege of cleaning up their own cups in the sink! I'm back! You're back.
     
260. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-20 make 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-20 Pub. Date: 2014-06-20
Image Number: 112747
Caption: … Charge extra for people to wear shoes, create a tax on spilled drinks, double-charge for napkins. Boring. You're not a government entity, it's been done. I give up. I concede. I've got nothing. Maybe I don’t belong as a businessman. Maybe I should just turn over the keys to the place to the customer ... They can make their own drinks and become experts and run their own coffee houses. Or I could charge them for making their own drinks and call this a training ground! Witness the return of a muse!
     
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