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- I'd like to see
comic strips about
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Use these links to see comic strips about making
by comic strip.
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Candorville |
1. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-05 |
Image Number: |
180644 |
Caption: |
Hello? Hi. Do you repair new old computers? What? Well … My beloved old iMac G4 dies years ago. So I bought a new iMac and paid a kid to tear out its guts and shove them into my old G4's body. You know, kind of like if you had an old friend who passes away, so you dressed your new friend in his clothes. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. It's making a weird screaming sound.
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2. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-30 |
Image Number: |
180583 |
Caption: |
I read your latest article. I think you misquoted General Patton, bruh. What? I doubt he ever really said No Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. He won it by making some other poor Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. You're just messing with me you, Ø *#$}. That, I would believe he said.
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3. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-16 |
Image Number: |
180303 |
Caption: |
How come you ain't fillin' your prescription at the pharmacy, bruh? My insurance is refusing to cover memory-loss meds. Don't worry, I got you. Whachoo need? I got Aricept, Exelon, Razadyne, Criscolon, Franaphran … Did you just make some of that up? Dilithiumanadyneaphran ...
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4. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-12 |
Image Number: |
180299 |
Caption: |
1982. Momma says I should be a teacher when I grow up. I said I want to be a writer, and she said 40 years from now, nobody's gonna read.. I said I want to be an astronaut, and she said we already did the moon, and 40 years from now, NASA's gonna be out of a business. Why a teacher, though? Momma said The one thing we know people will still be doing in 40 years is making kids. So I asked her how they make kids. That's when she said I should be an astronaut. My mama can never make up her mind either.
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5. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-05 |
Image Number: |
180233 |
Caption: |
When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. He asked who bought it. I said A neighbor. He whimpered and blubbered But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it! … I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when you son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
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6. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-01 |
Image Number: |
180106 |
Caption: |
Everyone goes through this at one time or another, Lemont. It's important not to worry about what other people think of you, if you know you're doing the right thing. It's important to get to a place of self-confidence, self-assurance, peace. Whatever. I still think your new Get your 10 psychosis treated free punchcards make you look tacky. And yet I'm at peace with that.
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7. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-10-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-27 |
Image Number: |
180026 |
Caption: |
$12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? American's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by led, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special. It's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Out bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
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8. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-10-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-20 |
Image Number: |
179913 |
Caption: |
You already finished your bucket list, Clyde? That's right. But … you're only midway through life. Read the last item on that list. Make it midway through life. Wait … there are only two other items on here. Get it started, and Let it ride. E'rething else just details, bruh. the truth of the story lies in the details. - Paul Auster. The strength of the alibi likes in the lack of details - C-Dog.
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9. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-10-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-08 |
Image Number: |
179805 |
Caption: |
Why does your site have a Breaking News report about something that happened a long time ago? Because our country has the attention span of a housefly, Susan. We ignore anything that isn't Breaking News. So … did you like my coverage of James Madison proposing the electoral college and the 315ths compromise as a way to make this United States thing acceptable to the slave states? Dios mio.
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10. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-09-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-23 |
Image Number: |
179617 |
Caption: |
… So I asked him Just how are you going to call the police when you're all tied up? Pardon me. Couldn't help but overhear. Tied up makes no sense when you think about it. When you wrap a rope around something, the rope actually goes around and around not up. Someone needs to smack you around. That makes no sense either.
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11. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-09-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-15 |
Image Number: |
179422 |
Caption: |
Hello? Hi. Could I start you with some coffee? No thanks, that might make me too excited, and I'm in a presidential debate in a few hours. I'm Patsy Milquetoast, 23rd person on the Democratic debate stage. Who? Don't you remember me from the last debate? I'm the one who took a bold stand against boldness. I thought that was that John Delaney guy, who kept saying we can't do big things. I thought John was being too confrontational when he said all that. You can't beat someone by confronting them. Um ... I hope my saying that didn't offend you ... not that there'd be anything wrong with you being offended.
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12. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-09-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-07 |
Image Number: |
179299 |
Caption: |
You know the Amazon produces a lot of oxygen, and now it's burning up? So? This a good thing, bruh. Amazon rainforest makes oxygen. People breathe it in. Know what they breath out? Carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide be causing global warming. By transitive logic, the Amazon rainforest be causin' global warming. That's ... look, for one thing, the Amazon soaks up carbon dioxide. Tell it to make up its mind.
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13. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-24 |
Image Number: |
179098 |
Caption: |
Do you think you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA, Randy? Let me see, little buddy … Will I ever get tired of encountering some of the most interesting people in the world … like Beyonce, and Rihanna, and Emilia Clarke, and Amber Heard, and Jennifer Lawrence, and the rest ... and making sure their pat-downs are completely professional yet totally thorough? This is why I never fly anywhere anymore. As long as blood pumps through my veins, I will never tire of this job.
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14. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-18 |
Image Number: |
178993 |
Caption: |
Kelly messaged me again. After a year of silence. She sent me a photo of an ice cube tray. No words or anything. Just the photo. Dr. Noodle. How did that make you feel? Like she was trying to tell me something. So I studied the picture for a long time. And then it occurred to me: I'd seen that ice cube tray before! it was mine! In my freshman year of college, she stole it and refused to give it back. I see. What do you think this means? I think it means she still loves me with the same passion she felt for me back then, and that she wants me to drop everything and fly to her and run off with her into the sunset. Sometimes, narcissists will play games just to make sure others are thing about the ... When I asked what it meant, she said That hurts and blocked me!
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15. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-17 |
Image Number: |
178999 |
Caption: |
Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard?
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16. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-06 |
Image Number: |
178907 |
Caption: |
ICE and border patrol are really detaining Americans? Even American children. Back in March, they detained nin-year-old Julia Medina for 36 hours and interrogated her without her parents. She's an American who lives in Tijuana, and she had her passport. They tried to get her 14-year-old brother to say she was his cousin. What? Why? I asked them then they asked me for my passport. So I panicked and jumped into a passing freight train ... But I'll make a follow-up call tomorrow.
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17. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-01 |
Image Number: |
178784 |
Caption: |
You're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! Brexit. I'm old enough to remember before the European Union existed. I witnesses its creation. It was historic. But now it's falling apart and if it does, well then what I witnessed wasn't all that historic after all. Way to make it all about you. It's like it was all just one big tease.
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18. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-07-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-21 |
Image Number: |
178558 |
Caption: |
Did you know the New Yorker posts all its memees on Twitter and on its site? Memes? Yeah, you know, memes. Where they take an image and put a caption over it. The combination of image and caption makes it funny. My generation invented meme culture. I think you're describing cartoons. The other day, I came across a video of Harvard professor Cornell West dancing with his students. HOJ. He was really good at it. It was cute watching a Boomer try to co-opt my generation's movement culture. I do with the New Yorker and Cornell West would bne more original, though. Millennials are an interesting bunch. Was that snark, Boomer? Keep that up and I'll make sure you get ratioed on Twitter.
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19. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-07-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-14 |
Image Number: |
178556 |
Caption: |
According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
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20. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-07-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-09 |
Image Number: |
178421 |
Caption: |
Hey, Big L, wassup? Listen, I can't make it to your barbecue tomorrow. Why not? Whachoomean Why not? What you is, my momma? My girl? My parole officer? I'm a grown man. I don't gotta tell nobody why not nothin'. Even if you don't come, you owe me for your half of the food I bought. See you at noon.
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