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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-02 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171054
Caption: How long you think it be till unaccountability trickle down to the rest of us? The Democrats got Debbie Wasserman Shultz' people destroying ballots before they can be recounted. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to them. The president use his office to make money e'reday. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to him. What did you do, Clyde? Don't matter. That's my point.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-26 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170822
Caption: I really liked your article about the raid on Trump's lawyers office. Thanks, Susan. You know, I wasn't the first journalist to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's statement. But I was the first to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's statement … through his lawyer, I mean. Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-12 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-12 Pub. Date: 2017-09-12
Image Number: 162598
Caption: This is Nightly News with Martin Niemoller. First they came for the travelers from Muslim countries … then they came for the Latino criminals who were here illegally. Then they came for legal immigrants who don't know English. Then they came for the hard-working, decent, productive Latinos who were brought here illegally as kids and know no other country. That's too bad. Hey, I feel like a ham sandwich. Hey wait, you might want to hear the rest of this ...
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-02 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-02 Pub. Date: 2016-07-02
Image Number: 145233
Caption: I own several properties, bruh. I got a booth in a recording studio I won in a game of dominoes, I got my apartment I won in a game of dice … I got 42 houses I bought in Flint, MI, for $28 … Whachoo think America would say 'bout me if I ran for president, held events at my own properties, an' then used people' campaign donations to pay myself $1 million in rent? They'd just say the same thing they say about Trump, that's it's perfectly legal. Thelma Jr. Bruh, have you met America?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-20 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-20 Pub. Date: 2016-04-20
Image Number: 142114
Caption: I'm tired of people calling Donald Trump a thug without any evidence whatsoever. How is it "inciting violence" to tell your supporters you'd pay their legal fees if they roughed up protesters? How is it a "threat" to day you might release the names and hotel room numbers of delegates who won't vote for Trump? People should be more responsible with their accusations ... if they know what's good for them.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-19 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-19 Pub. Date: 2014-05-19
Image Number: 111554
Caption: We don’t want any. We ain't selling any. We jus' spreadin' the good news. Oh. No offense, but I don’t want any Jehovah's Witnesses ringing out door ell. Me neither. But … I thought you were saying you were a Jehovah's Witness. Never said that. Oh. We with Jehovah's Alibi.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-01 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 84695
Caption: Thief stole last witty saying. Need $$ to buy more. Being sued for plagiarism. Need $$$ for lawyer.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-28 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-28 Pub. Date: 2011-10-28
Image Number: 67158
Caption: Judge Dubois delivers her decision. Custody cases are rarely this cut and dry. On one hand, we have a father who's suffered from psychotic delusions, has no money, and spends time with unsavory characters … And on the other hand, we have a mother who happens to be my daughter ... We're dead. Whom I personally know to be crazy-making, lying, manipulative, free-loading, and is, herself, the epitome of an unsavory character.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-27 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 67157
Caption: Hello, Lemont. I just wanted to wish you luck and show you there are no hard feelings. Well … Thanks, Roxanne. In fact, after mother … I mean, the judge … grants me full custody, I promise only to tell our son about your many shortcomings in the most positive light. My attorney tell me I have a good chance, Roxanne. We've given the judge a lot to think about. The judge is ready to rule?! It's only been thirty seconds! We're dead! We're ... Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there. How much of that did you ... Maybe I'll do you a favor and not tell him about you at all.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-26 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-26 Pub. Date: 2011-10-26
Image Number: 67156
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, that was a very moving closing by Mr. Brown's attorney. I'd like to point out two things, though. Yes, it was brave of Mr. Brown to fight for custody of his son even though his flaws are many and readily apparent to all, but ... My client, Roxanne, is your daughter. That's number one. Number two is ... Just kidding. We really don't need a number two, do we? I think I do.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-25 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-25 Pub. Date: 2011-10-25
Image Number: 67155
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, there are many reasons to deny my client custody of his son. He's black and poor, the mother's white and rich. He hangs with thugs and nobodies, she hobnobs with the rich and politically connected. But your honor … My client knows all this. And he came here anyway, knowing all his flaws would be exposed and ridiculed! What does that tell you, your honor? That he's an idiot? That he's a moron? That he loves his son that much!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-05 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-05 Pub. Date: 2011-10-05
Image Number: 66213
Caption: So you went to talk to your evil ex, Roxanne, about your custody battle? Without your lawyer? Y'know, it's interesting: just adding a question mark to the end a sentence can make someone feel really stupid. You think?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-04 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-04 Pub. Date: 2011-10-04
Image Number: 66212
Caption: The Law Guy. hy can't I just go talk to Roxanne and sort out this whole custody mess like two grown adults. 'Cause as your lawyer, I'm telling you it's a bad idea. Closing arguments are tonight. I can win this. Don't mess it up. I'm a writer, Billy. I know a little about what moves people. I can talk some sense into her. I'll put this in terms a writer will understand ... THIS CONVERSATION IS FORESHADOWING! What's the worst that can happen?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-03 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-03 Pub. Date: 2011-10-03
Image Number: 66211
Caption: I'm giving the closing argument tonight in Lemont Brown's custody hearing. Billy Meeks, Kid Lawyer. He's got no chance. I think instead of showing up, I'll get a "stomache," fake my own death, and move to Disneyland to start a new life. Um ... Lemont? Billy here. Disregard that text, it was meant for my friend Clem, and hat totally nothing at all to do with you.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-08 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-08 Pub. Date: 2011-08-08
Image Number: 64166
Caption: So you finally testified in court? Yeah, but not before Roxanne subpoenaed everyone and anyone who could say something bad about me. There was Reverend Wilfred. He puts an IOU in the collection plate every Sunday. Federal Agent Murph. And during the summer of 1982, he consorted with an unknown Iranian. I was seven! We were playing tag! He was from Van Nuys! And ... I don't want to talk about it. Many men who neglect their mothers can still be good fathers.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-02 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-02 Pub. Date: 2011-08-02
Image Number: 63972
Caption: Where were you last night when I testified in my custody case? A little support from my "best friend" would've been cool. I came! But I couldn't find the right courtroom! The 13th floor! I even wrote you the room number! Not a single person who'd RSVP'd showed up. The metal detector guy said there is no room 666. It's not my fault you don't check your evites for typos. I'd made enough clam dip for 30 people.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-22 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-22 Pub. Date: 2011-07-22
Image Number: 63530
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I'm just checking in 'cause I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you, LB? Not so good. A witness testified in court that I told him I met an actual demon … It's true, I did. I told Susan about it, and she thinks I'm crazy. She doesn't believe me. Nobody believes me. I believe you, Lemont. Say what? I know we haven't seen each other in 16 years, but Lemont I remember you like we've never been apart. You're the smartest, most honest, most sane man I know. Anyone who doesn't believe you must not really know you. ... Not like I do. Man, why'd you to be happily married? Who said "happily"? Nothing bad can come of this.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 legal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
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