This is Loserbanc Massacard. Mr. Brown, our records show you have an outstanding balance of $1,198. Loserbanc? You guys charged that off way back in like 1994. Do you know what year this is? You guys fell of my credit report a decade ago. How would you like to rectify the situation? I wouldn't. But .. .the moral thing to do is pay us what you owe us. How "moral" was it for you to make me pay thousands more than I ever borrowed in late fees, mysterious "finance charges" and your sky-high APR? Our terms were legal. Well, it's also legal for me to refuse to repay a debt that you charged off so long ago. I can accept payment over the phone. Good for you! I can tie my own shoes. Our mommies should give us each a cookie.
Clyde … sure, you're a thug, and you make awful decisions. But you're also the only friend I have who's actually met Roxanne. The judge said my lawyer and I can't say anything bad about her in the custody hearing. But maybe as a witness, YOU could slip in some really underhanded, mean comments about her ... ... just to contrast the part where you talk about how ethical I am. That reasoning appeals to me. It does? Never mind, then.