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Candorville

Comics about legal clients.

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Result page:    2  Next  (27 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-28 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-28 Pub. Date: 2011-10-28
Image Number: 67158
Caption: Judge Dubois delivers her decision. Custody cases are rarely this cut and dry. On one hand, we have a father who's suffered from psychotic delusions, has no money, and spends time with unsavory characters … And on the other hand, we have a mother who happens to be my daughter ... We're dead. Whom I personally know to be crazy-making, lying, manipulative, free-loading, and is, herself, the epitome of an unsavory character.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-27 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 67157
Caption: Hello, Lemont. I just wanted to wish you luck and show you there are no hard feelings. Well … Thanks, Roxanne. In fact, after mother … I mean, the judge … grants me full custody, I promise only to tell our son about your many shortcomings in the most positive light. My attorney tell me I have a good chance, Roxanne. We've given the judge a lot to think about. The judge is ready to rule?! It's only been thirty seconds! We're dead! We're ... Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there. How much of that did you ... Maybe I'll do you a favor and not tell him about you at all.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-26 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-26 Pub. Date: 2011-10-26
Image Number: 67156
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, that was a very moving closing by Mr. Brown's attorney. I'd like to point out two things, though. Yes, it was brave of Mr. Brown to fight for custody of his son even though his flaws are many and readily apparent to all, but ... My client, Roxanne, is your daughter. That's number one. Number two is ... Just kidding. We really don't need a number two, do we? I think I do.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-25 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-25 Pub. Date: 2011-10-25
Image Number: 67155
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, there are many reasons to deny my client custody of his son. He's black and poor, the mother's white and rich. He hangs with thugs and nobodies, she hobnobs with the rich and politically connected. But your honor … My client knows all this. And he came here anyway, knowing all his flaws would be exposed and ridiculed! What does that tell you, your honor? That he's an idiot? That he's a moron? That he loves his son that much!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-03 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-03 Pub. Date: 2011-10-03
Image Number: 66211
Caption: I'm giving the closing argument tonight in Lemont Brown's custody hearing. Billy Meeks, Kid Lawyer. He's got no chance. I think instead of showing up, I'll get a "stomache," fake my own death, and move to Disneyland to start a new life. Um ... Lemont? Billy here. Disregard that text, it was meant for my friend Clem, and hat totally nothing at all to do with you.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-13 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-13 Pub. Date: 2011-07-13
Image Number: 63189
Caption: To prove Lemont is insane, Roxanne's lawyer questions an eyewitness … Did Mr. Brown ever say anything to you about Roxanne Dubois? He said she snored, had lousy taste in music, didn't appreciate the subtle humor of "I Dream of Jeanne," and that she's a 400-year-old vampire. Would you characterize that as "crazy"? Of course. Everyone knows "Bewitched" was much better. What? What?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-31 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-31 Pub. Date: 2011-05-31
Image Number: 61585
Caption: So the judge says DNA testing my son is out of 'cause it violates Roxanne's religion. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the judge being Roxanne's mom. That's the bad news. I saved the good news for last. What's that? Mommy says you're getting railroaded! That does not mean what you think it means. I got us matching outfits.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-30 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61584
Caption: The judge denied our request for a DNA test, so there's no way to prove Lionel is your son. What? Why?! Roxanne claimed it violated her religion. She says she's a Teteoinnan … … and that their ancient Aztec scriptures dictate only the MOTHER GODDESS can examine our DNA under electron microscopes. People are always reading scripture however the #$%* they want to.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-22 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-22 Pub. Date: 2011-02-22
Image Number: 57543
Caption: Your honor, to know why you should award my client 50/50 shared custody of his son, it's important that you know my client. Lemont Brown was born at a very young age … It was the olden days, before the internet, the cell phone … even before Justin Bieber. Lemont's own father abandoned him when he was but a toddler! ... Leaving him with no father figure other than the flickering image of Bill Cosby he saw on his poor mother's tiny 13-inch black and white TV, powered by vacuum tubes and water wheels. Thus was born Mr. Brown's irresistible craving to one day become an amazing father ... and his equally strong craving for Jell-O pudding pops.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-21 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-21 Pub. Date: 2011-02-21
Image Number: 57542
Caption: Will the attorney for the plaintiff please state your case? Your Excellency, my client, Mr. Brown, requests - nay, DEMANDS - joint custody of his son Lionel. We will demonstrate that he is financially and emotionally prepared to care for his child. He has no history of violence or abuse. And he has absolutely no convictions. Whisper whisper whisper. No CRIMINAL convictions. ... What did I say?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-11 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-11 Pub. Date: 2011-02-11
Image Number: 57042
Caption: Your honor, I represent Roxanne Dubois. Unlike her opponent, Lemont Brown … We will not insult the court's intelligence or waste its time with patronizing opening statements. The merits of our case will be obvious enough. They're crazy. Crazy like a FOX! ... or incompetent. Incompetent like a FOX!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-10 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-10 Pub. Date: 2011-02-10
Image Number: 57041
Caption: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury … There is no jury, counselor; this is a custody hearing. At the end of this trial, not only will my client be found "super-cool" … … but, ladies and gentlemen, I will find THE REAL KILLER! … AND THERE HE SITS! The NEVER shoulda let you watch Law & Order.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-09 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-09 Pub. Date: 2011-02-09
Image Number: 57040
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to renew my request that you allow me time to find a new lawyer. This is not the lawyer I hired. It's his six-year-old nephew Billy. My real lawyer is missing. At least let me find HIM. He left some weird message on my voicemail about being held in some dungeon. I couldn't hear the address, 'cuase reception was bad. Your honor, we would like to change our plea to "guilty by reason of insanity." This is a custody case, counselor.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-08 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-08 Pub. Date: 2011-02-08
Image Number: 57039
Caption: Before I hear opening statements, I want to make an opening statement of my own … No judge wants to preside over a child custody hearing. They're spiteful and rife with negative campaigning. Parents act like politicians, attacking their opponent's character instead of making a case for themselves. I will not stand for that in my courtroom. @#$%&#!!! There goes our whole case! You may proceed.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-07 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-07 Pub. Date: 2011-02-07
Image Number: 57038
Caption: Please tell me you're ready for opening arguments. Tell me YOU'RE ready for opening arguments! Um … what? Settle down, kid. YOU settle down, kid! I wish the judge would let me fire you. I wish the judge would let me fire you. I wish the judge would let me fire YOU! I like to warm up before opening arguments.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-10 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-10 Pub. Date: 2010-12-10
Image Number: 55014
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I've thought about you from time to time, these past 16 years, Lemont. I've wondered if you're happy. How's your life going? Court will come to order … the case of "Impoverished Black Father Who Has No Chance to Win Custody From the Filthy-rich White Mother of his Child" can ... Um ... seriously? Mr. Brown, is this really how your lawyer filed your case? My life's going fine. Might I suggest you represent yourself?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-05 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-05 Pub. Date: 2010-11-05
Image Number: 53694
Caption: The Law Guy. Let's make a list of pros and cons. Ok, con … My custody battle is in a week, and your uncle, my lawyer, is nowhere to be found. Mm - hm … Mm - hmm … Ok … Pro: my other uncle, Boozer, has agreed to take over your case, for only a slight additional fee. Has he even passed the bar? Uh huh, usually on his lunch break. What? What?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-04 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-04 Pub. Date: 2010-08-04
Image Number: 50406
Caption: You may not know this about me: as a small child, I was in "Little Lawyerscout Troop #231." I earned a "will not betray my clients" merit badge. I'll never text Lemont and lie to him so he'll give up his custody fight with you. Do your worst. GROWLLLL. I'll need my cell phone and a new pair of pants.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-03 legal client 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-03 Pub. Date: 2010-08-03
Image Number: 50405
Caption: Let me get this straight: you think any court would recognize you're the more stable parent. Check. … So you want me to text Lemont, MY CLIENT, that it's pointless to fight you for custody of Lionel. Check. … Or you'll eat me alive. Check. What you may not know is, I know karate, ninjutsu, and several other Japanese words.
     
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