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Candorville

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-21 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-21 Pub. Date: 2015-02-21
Image Number: 123056
Caption: It's been years since you and Roxanne split up. You've had only a handful of dates since. Yep. You seem fine with that. Why wouldn't I be? Being single is underrated. My music's always at the right volume, my place is always at the right temperature, and I never, ever say "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" You know, compromise is a skill. And like any skill, we lose it if we don't practice. Scribble scrib. I get to leave the seat up all the time.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-20 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-20 Pub. Date: 2015-02-20
Image Number: 123055
Caption: Hi, Sasha. It's Lemont Brown. I just heard you got divorced. No need to call me back, I just wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for finally leaving that jerk. Things didn't work out between us because of the timing, and we've both moved on, but … I just want you to know I hope you're happy ... because making a pass at you right after I find out you're newly divorced would be a turnoff. Right? Or not? Anyway, farewell. Unless you WANT to call me back.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-22 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-22 Pub. Date: 2015-01-22
Image Number: 121834
Caption: Out of curiosity, why do you ask if I know where C-Dog was earlier today? $1000 in small, Cheeto-dust covered bills was left at the altar this morning, with a note that said "use this to help victims of gun violence." That doesn't sound like C-Dog. "This definitely ain't from a hardcore G like C-Dog. Sincerely, C-Dog." I know nothing. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-04).
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-16 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-16 Pub. Date: 2014-12-16
Image Number: 120250
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner … Hang a left, another left … two more lefts … … Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-19)
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-16 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-16 Pub. Date: 2014-09-16
Image Number: 116479
Caption: Hello, I'm you, from the future. I've come back in time to ask you not to buy that Starbucks coffee tomorrow. If you just make your coffee at home from now on, I'll have tens of thousands of dollars more to retire with. Also, when a police officer tells you to leave the park bench and demands to see your ID, do NOT tell him "I know my rights." I don't care how many white people you saw doing that on YouTube, YOU'RE NOT THEM. Zzzzz.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-31 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 115090
Caption: I called my ex-wife and told her I forgive her for leaving me for Guillermo Cabonabong. Wow. After five years? Something told me it was time to forgive. Well, I told you back then, holding onto resentment is only going to hurt you. I'm glad my advice finally sunk in. It's not that, doc. Yesterday, Facebook suggested I add Guillermo Cabonabong as a friend. I quit. When even Facebook says it's time to move on, it's time to move on.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-16 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-16 Pub. Date: 2014-08-16
Image Number: 114930
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. BEEP.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-10 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-10 Pub. Date: 2014-08-10
Image Number: 114243
Caption: Sometimes it seems like everything is something vs. something else. What do you mean? There's the obvious: Russia vs. Ukraine, Israel vs. Palestine, Syria vs. Syria, Cartels vs. Latin America, cops vs. citizens … Right vs. left, religion vs. science, rich vs. poor, employers' rights vs. employees' rights, mankind vs. nature ... Um ... Batman vs. Superman ... Sometimes it's best to end your point while it still seems profound. Robin Thicke's career vs. Miley Cyrus ... Oh, never mind. What's I tell you?
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-14 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-14 Pub. Date: 2014-07-14
Image Number: 113732
Caption: The other day, you quoted a study that said we'd had one school shooting a week since Newtown. That meant 74 shootings. YOU LIED!!! If you leave out every shooting that was suicide, gang- or robbery-related, accidental, or didn’t result in any injuries ... there were only fifteen shootings! So ... if you disregard most of the school shootings, there weren't very many school shootings at all. Next time do your research!
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-24 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-24 Pub. Date: 2014-06-24
Image Number: 112912
Caption: Why do people revere the "founding fathers" as if they were infallible gods? Seriously, a lot of these guys were know-it-all twenty-somethings who had very little life experience. And then there were the ones in their forties. You never trust a guy in his forties. That's when a guy flips out, leaves his wife and buys aa shiny new horse.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-17 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-17 Pub. Date: 2014-06-17
Image Number: 112730
Caption: Stuff you don't want to hear about. Feigned interest. Stuff you don't want to hear about. Stuff you don't want to hear about. I just remembered … I left my dog on the ledge of a skyscraper, and if I don't leave right now it may plummet to its death … or some other desperate excuse to leave. 8. I can't take a hint. Say, here's more stuff you don't want to hear about. (This cartoon was originally published on 5/8/2012).
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-01 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-01 Pub. Date: 2014-06-01
Image Number: 111415
Caption: Dear Son … I'm your long-lost father. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help your momma raise you. She and I … well, let's just say it was better for you that I was not around. Sometimes the only thing a father can do, to make sure his some is raised right, is to leave. But you've grown into a fine man, Son. You're raising a son of your own, by yourself. You've become the man I always wish I could've been. The only thing that would make me prouder is if you would click here to purchase Awesomecorp's brand new kitten-flavored toothpaste. Never posting anything personal online again. I want your breath to be fresher than mine ever was, Son.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-16 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-16 Pub. Date: 2014-05-16
Image Number: 111233
Caption: Momma never inherited anything; I'm not going to inherit anything … I want to leave my son something that'll completely change his life when he gets it. There that video of you trying to dance on "Soul Train" in the '90s. THAT'LL change his life. I meant like a HOUSE. There some things you just can't ever unsee.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-23 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-23 Pub. Date: 2014-04-23
Image Number: 110445
Caption: Where you goin', Big L? I was only kidding. That's not "kidding." "Kidding" is saying "there's something on your face" when there really isn't. "Kidding" is NOT saying "I didn’t realize you left your toddler with me. I haven't seen him all day." Do erebody lose they sense of humor when they become parents? You're dead to me, Clyde.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-22 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-22 Pub. Date: 2014-04-22
Image Number: 110444
Caption: Thanks for watching my son while I was working, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Is you sayin' you left your kid here for REAL? When you asked me this morning to watch him, I thought that was a April Fools' joke. APRIL FOOLS' IS ONLY ON APRIL 1ST! IDIOT!!! Don't be so hard on y'self. Sometimes I get dates mixed up too.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-08 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-08 Pub. Date: 2014-03-08
Image Number: 108218
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Please leave a message. BEEP! Hi, Laquisha, this is Tyrone. I'm sick and tired of you always complaining about me … saying I never listen, and that I never pay attention … … or whatever.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-01 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-01 Pub. Date: 2014-03-01
Image Number: 107986
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because the caller ID says "blocked ID," and I'm annoyed with the fact that you know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I feel like talking to someone who like to have other people at a disadvantage.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-20 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-20 Pub. Date: 2014-02-20
Image Number: 107709
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because my son and I are busy building a fort out of sofa cushions. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I'm a grown-up again. BEEP.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-19 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-19 Pub. Date: 2014-02-19
Image Number: 107708
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to find him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-14 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-14 Pub. Date: 2014-01-14
Image Number: 106172
Caption: How long you gonna be here, Big L? Oh, I don’t know … If my son and I are in your way, we can leave; even though it's 40-below outside … and even though you come over to my place ALL THE TIME whether I'm home or not. If you want us to leave, Clyde, just say the word. The word. NOT LEAVING!!! Thug 4 Life. Thank God for Culture Clash.
     
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