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Candorville

Comics about lawyers.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-02 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177793
Caption: I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-06 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-06 Pub. Date: 2019-03-06
Image Number: 176626
Caption: Son, Daddy has an important interview tomorrow. I need you to stop jumping. Ok. What do you mean ok? You're still jumping. I did stop jumping. What you see happening wight now is cawwed bouncing. And you let him get away with that? It's important to encourage any skills that could lead to being a lawyer.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-26 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170822
Caption: I really liked your article about the raid on Trump's lawyers office. Thanks, Susan. You know, I wasn't the first journalist to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's statement. But I was the first to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's statement … through his lawyer, I mean. Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-25 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170821
Caption: 20 million people have read my article about the raid on Trump's lawyer's office. You must've read it. A lot of them were blown away with the scoop I got. You must've been blown away. I got an anonymous tip, so I drove through the night and hid out in a potted plant right in his office. I saw the whole thing unfold. You must be impressed. It was a very nice article, Lemont. You hated it.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-14 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166587
Caption: I was walking along the sidewalk minding my own business … Dr Noodle … when a cop stopped me and ticketed me for walking without a driver's license. Then he took me to jail and held me there for seven hours. May lawyer found out he's done this before, almost always to black pedestrians. I tried really hard to understand why he does that. I thought "maybe he's just incompetent. Maybe he's emasculated at home so he overcompensates at work. Maybe he was trained to do this and so it's not his fault. Maybe the Mandela Effect is real and he came from an alternate universe where walking without a driver's license actually is illegal. People often go to great lengths to avoid noticing this particular elephant in the room. I'm told it's awfully rude to accuse people who do racist things of being racist.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-12 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-12 Pub. Date: 2017-10-12
Image Number: 163631
Caption: You know what else is good? "Matlock." What the … ? What is you … Listen, bruh, don't nobody watch no old corny white-haired country lawyer in 1990s Atlanta … playin' a ukulele in his light gray suit and "findin' the real killer" e'ry week … for someone who doesn't watch the show, you sure know a lot about it. Osmosis. I got all that from osmosis an' you can't prove otherwise.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-15 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-15 Pub. Date: 2017-08-15
Image Number: 161532
Caption: Guess what? My iPhone 7 just started slowing down. Just a month or so before the iPhone 8 comes out. Remember when my iPhone 6 started slowing down? That was just about a month or so before the iphone 7 came out. You know … Apple lawyers can hear erethang you sayin' through Siri, bruh. *I am not necessarily implying any trickery or intentional wrongdoing on the part of Apple. I wasn't never here.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-13 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160919
Caption: Hi momma … What do you mean you've been deported? … Yes, yes, I do know about your love for bean pie. What's that have to do with … Really? ICE raided Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack? … But why would they think you weren't a citizen? … So what if you didn't have ID! This is Ameri -- They did what? They asked you questions to make you prove you're a citizen? ... What questions? ... I see. Listen, momma, when armed goons handcuff you and demand that you tell them who the president it, I don't care what your politics are, you don't answer "Donald Duck." ... Yes, momma, I do see the similarities. But the time for political satire is before they come for you. Not during. Yes, I am flossing regular -- Momma, let me call a lawyer -- Yes, I know, but Cousin Pookie is a divorce attorney. No, it's not the same --
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-23 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-23 Pub. Date: 2017-05-23
Image Number: 158341
Caption: Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-24 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154805
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-06 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122421
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-19 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-19 Pub. Date: 2014-05-19
Image Number: 111554
Caption: We don’t want any. We ain't selling any. We jus' spreadin' the good news. Oh. No offense, but I don’t want any Jehovah's Witnesses ringing out door ell. Me neither. But … I thought you were saying you were a Jehovah's Witness. Never said that. Oh. We with Jehovah's Alibi.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-07 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-07 Pub. Date: 2014-04-07
Image Number: 109839
Caption: LAST WEEK … So I took your advice. I hired lawyers to investigate myself … paid them $1 mil or so … … And (surprise surprise) the investigation I paid for found me totally, completely innocent … Problem is: for some strange reason, people don’t trust that the investigation I paid for was impartial. Ain't you glad I told you to pay for it with taxpayer money instead of your own? C-DOG'S Incredibly Bad Advice $2. I want my $2 back.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-05 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-05 Pub. Date: 2013-12-05
Image Number: 104627
Caption: Here's the thing, C-Dog … Yeah, your last album sold almost 15,000 copies … … And yeah, we supposed to give you 50% of the profits … … But there was no profit, 'cause our expenses were more than the proceeds. … For instance, we had to pay a lawyer $50k. Thug 4 Life. What for? To make it look like your album didn't earn a profit.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-13 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-13 Pub. Date: 2013-11-13
Image Number: 103800
Caption: I just got slapped with a cease and desist notice from Twitter's lawyers. They're trademarking "TWEET." The Starbucks at the End of the World. I can't tweet anymore unless I pay royalties! I don’t believe that happened, Lemont. You say that all the time. (This cartoon originally published on 10/22/2011).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-12 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-12 Pub. Date: 2013-05-12
Image Number: 96331
Caption: You gonna see Star Trek Into Darkness. @#$% no, fool. Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. Why not? The title too long. I don’t like a long-title movie. E'rething worth watchin' has a two-word title or less. "Star Wars," good. "The Phantom Menace," boring. "The Matrix," good. "The Matrix Revolutions," boring as #$*%. Rocky, Fargo, Jaws, Psycho, Friday, Gladiator, Scarface ... Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. Terms of Endearment ... The Unbearable Lightness of Being ... The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants ... Thug 4 Life. For Roscoe. I rest my case. You would be the worst lawyer in the whole world. Insults with more than nine words is too long.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-01 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 84695
Caption: Thief stole last witty saying. Need $$ to buy more. Being sued for plagiarism. Need $$$ for lawyer.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-21 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-21 Pub. Date: 2011-12-21
Image Number: 74335
Caption: Are you gonna take Lionel to his mom's house for Christmas? Families should be together on Christmas. I called her. … And I don’t care if she was joking or not, she's pure evil. That's mean. Before hanging up on me, she said she only celebrates Halloween. Still, "evil"? She said they ate lawyer, with all the trimmings.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-28 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-28 Pub. Date: 2011-10-28
Image Number: 67158
Caption: Judge Dubois delivers her decision. Custody cases are rarely this cut and dry. On one hand, we have a father who's suffered from psychotic delusions, has no money, and spends time with unsavory characters … And on the other hand, we have a mother who happens to be my daughter ... We're dead. Whom I personally know to be crazy-making, lying, manipulative, free-loading, and is, herself, the epitome of an unsavory character.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-27 lawyer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 67157
Caption: Hello, Lemont. I just wanted to wish you luck and show you there are no hard feelings. Well … Thanks, Roxanne. In fact, after mother … I mean, the judge … grants me full custody, I promise only to tell our son about your many shortcomings in the most positive light. My attorney tell me I have a good chance, Roxanne. We've given the judge a lot to think about. The judge is ready to rule?! It's only been thirty seconds! We're dead! We're ... Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there. How much of that did you ... Maybe I'll do you a favor and not tell him about you at all.
     
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