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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (40 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-30 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-30 Pub. Date: 2019-11-30
Image Number: 180583
Caption: I read your latest article. I think you misquoted General Patton, bruh. What? I doubt he ever really said No Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. He won it by making some other poor Saturn - asterisk - pound sign - dollar sign - squiggle die for his country. You're just messing with me you, Ø *#$}. That, I would believe he said.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-18 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-18 Pub. Date: 2019-11-18
Image Number: 180435
Caption: Mainstream Media. Can't I just say one more thing about the latest billionaire who's running for presid … I said no!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-30 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-30 Pub. Date: 2019-04-30
Image Number: 177384
Caption: Guess who won a Pulitzer Prize for his latest album, bruh? Ain't that that prize you been try'na win since we was six? It don't bother you that I won it before you did, do it? Of course not. I'm censored thrilled for you. I couldn't be happier. You censored deserve it, you censored censored! So we cool, then? Of course, why the censored would you ask?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-24 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-24 Pub. Date: 2019-03-24
Image Number: 176623
Caption: I liked your latest article, The Living Chain of History. Thanks. When I was a kid, I met the last person who ever interviewed a slave. That slave's grandfather was Thomas Jefferson's slave. That means I spoke with someone who spoke with someone who spoke with someone who spoke with Thomas Jefferson. I'm only three spokes removed from a conversation with one of America's Founding Fathers. That's why you wrote No wonder we do all this horrible !@#$? Our society couldn't be more than $600 spokes removed from cavemen.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-12 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-12 Pub. Date: 2019-02-12
Image Number: 176282
Caption: I wrote about your hatred for Aristotle in my latest column. You did what? I asked Is a genius still a genius if he believed some people are just naturally inferior and should be slaves? Is it wrong to go on celebrating a person's contributions if that person turns out to be detestable? You didn't use my name in this article, did you? I'm pretty sure my article was the first time in history Aristotle appeared in the same sentence with R. Kelly.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-11 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-11 Pub. Date: 2019-02-11
Image Number: 176281
Caption: Well, look like I've single-handedly brought down our governor with my latest story. What? A source gave me an old video of him from law school, where he's wearing blackface, tap-dancing, eating a giant watermelon, and shouting where the white women at? Before he dons a KKK robe and sets fire to a cross while whistling Dixie through a hollowed-out bucket of fried chicken. The governor replied that he's sorry he didn't realize at the time how offensive that was. I'm going to miss Governor Weasly.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-16 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-16 Pub. Date: 2018-07-16
Image Number: 172925
Caption: You think my latest story's going to get me in trouble? Candorville.com. Exclusive! Journalist who may or may not be me breaks into Mayor Thump's top-secret refugee prison, exposes horrid conditions. Nah, I think you'll be fine. Cops pulled me over three times today. Coincidence. I was on skates.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-22 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-22 Pub. Date: 2017-10-22
Image Number: 163428
Caption: Dear "Journalist," your latest article is highly offensive and fake. You attacked those of us who accuse black NFL players of being "ungrateful" when they protest state-sanctioned racism. You said WE were the ungrateful ones. You wrote "You should be grateful to the 'ungrateful black protestors' throughout history, who've always reminded us what this country is supposed to stand for. 'Ungrateful' protestors like Martin Luther King, Jr ... Like Muhammad Ali ... and like Crispus Attucks, the 'ungrateful' black guy whose 'ungrateful' protest in Boston led to him becoming the first man to die in the Revolutionary War." You've totally exaggerated the worth of those so-called "protestors." I'm supposed to think they're heroes just because they got SHOT? First of all, sir, Muhammad Ali never got sh -- Wait ... Donald Trump? Is this you? Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. I like people who weren't shot.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-06 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160565
Caption: Your latest article was a little confusing, Lemont. What's confusing about my having solved Fermi's paradox? I've single-handedly explained how the universe could be filled with civilization, even though we've seen no evidence them. Did you know there's a possibility our universe exists within a black hole? ... and every black hole in our universe may contain an entire universe of its own? I've heard that. And did you know that people ultimately just can't stand those who are different from them? Don't you see, Susan? There is no paradox. When a civilization advances far enough, it doesn't fly to other stars. It thinks much bigger. It creates a black hole and vanishes into it so it can have a whole universe to itself. They could shape it and write its natural laws however they want. The Berniezoidians could have a whole universe full of single-payer healthcare, ... and the Trumpmagans could have a whole universe full of no undocumented immigrants. Oh. I was just confused about the part where you wrote "The Trumpmagans still insist Mexico will pay for the event horizon."
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-30 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156200
Caption: I'm coming out with a new book, Clyde. It's called "I Have Over 1,000 Facebook Friends and Only 50 of Them Bought My Latest Book … I have 257,000 Twitter Followers, and Only 5,000 of Them Bought My Latest Book … and I Have One Allegedly Close Friend Sitting Right Next to Me and He's Never Bought Any of My Books." That's 'cause you titles be way too long, bruh. Colorblind Ed.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-07 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-07 Pub. Date: 2015-12-07
Image Number: 136219
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Absolutely nothing, Susan. That's the problem. I had a really hot date today, my latest article was shared 3 million times on Facebook, my son just learned his name, and I found out I'm in perfect health. But the worst part was, just now I found a $20 bill in my pocket. Can't you let yourself be happy just once? I may have used up all my good luck for the week in just one day.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-25 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-25 Pub. Date: 2015-02-25
Image Number: 123398
Caption: Jesus was right, Susan: "No prophet is accepted in how own hometown." When I posted a link to my latest novel on Facebook, over 400 of my Facebook friends bought it. But I've never met any of those people. I only know 12 of my Facebook friends in real life. And not a single one of them bought my book. That's only 'cause we get to know what's on your mind for free. I'm billing you $8.95 for this conversation. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-23).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-17 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-17 Pub. Date: 2014-08-17
Image Number: 114523
Caption: Dear Moron … I read your latest article about how Israel and the Palestinians are locked in a cycle of violence and neither side is doing the right thing. I don't appreciate the false equivalence! You completely neglected to point out the FACT that the side I support is RIGHT, and the other side is WRONG. Here is a list of everything the other side has done to MY side to provoke my side into using violence. Never talk about the Israeli-Palestinian thing. If the other side has a list too, it's illegitimate and you're a FOOL for believing any of it.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-09 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-09 Pub. Date: 2014-03-09
Image Number: 107838
Caption: I'm tired of the way you write about me on your blog, Big L. You sensationalize me. You accentuate my most extreme personality traits. You don’t capture the richness, the three-dimensionality of C-Dog. I'm like the URKEL in the story of your life. I didn't know you felt that way, Clyde. I'll stop writing about you. ... Even though my latest poll showed that you're by far the most popular character on the blog. How popular we talkin'? Does it matter?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-26 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-26 Pub. Date: 2014-01-26
Image Number: 106177
Caption: What was that? I said "What's your latest article about, Lemont?" Seriously? Yeah, just kinda sum it up for me. Susan … I researched it for five months. I interviewed dozens of bystanders and triple-sourced everything they said. I interviewed all the key figures in this scandal: President Obama, Kim Jong Un, Carrot Top ... Then I locked myself in my apartment for a WEEK, painstakingly crafting it into a nuanced, fascinating story ... ... But you can't spend five MINUTES reading it? You want me to "just kinda sum it up" for you?! Not really, I was just being polite.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-23 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-23 Pub. Date: 2013-01-23
Image Number: 92640
Caption: Jesus was right, Susan: "No prophet is accepted in how own hometown." When I posted a link to my latest novel on Facebook, over 400 of my Facebook friends bought it. But I've never met any of those people. I only know 12 of my Facebook friends in real life. And not a single one of them bought my book. That's only 'cause we get to know what's on your mind for free. I'm billing you $8.95 for this conversation.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-10 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-10 Pub. Date: 2012-12-10
Image Number: 90866
Caption: You look tired. I was up all night with Lionel. He had a nightmare. I guess I shouldn’t have read him my latest book as a bedtime story. It's called "RUN! Vampires, Werewolves, The One That Got Away and Other Demons." You couldn’t think of a longer title?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-12 latest 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-12 Pub. Date: 2012-02-12
Image Number: 75766
Caption: Dear idiot … I read your latest blog post about how Obama's critics are "goofy" for acting as if Obama invented the concept of progressive taxation. You went on to cite all the progressive tax rates of the last 150 years … … and "pointed out" that the rates Obama wants are actually far less than what we had decades ago. It's awfully "goofy" of YOU to pretend something isn't radical and new just because it's been around forever. THE WHOLE COUNTRY NEEDS TO BE SLAPPED WITH A DICTIONARY. His plan to stick to progressive taxation is RADICAL and NEW, just like it as been ever since 1862.
     
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