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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-20 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-20 Pub. Date: 2019-09-20
Image Number: 179502
Caption: She blew it, Clyde. Who blew what? What are you talking about, Big L? The whole reason I thought about dating Susan was because I thought maybe she and I would be compatible … so I tested her. I asked her out in Klingon, and she didn't have any idea what I said. I blew it. Your standards is too high ... or low ... or something.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-30 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-30 Pub. Date: 2019-07-30
Image Number: 178782
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Elizabeth Warren. As many of you have correctly guessed … I've been ghost-writing all of her Donald Trump-related speeches and tweets. That's why she's been tearing him a new one lately. Sadie's lady's coming for you, Donald!!! ... But I would like all my listeners to write to Liz and ask her to stop leaving out all my well-crafted expletives.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-01 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-01 Pub. Date: 2019-02-01
Image Number: 176035
Caption: Were I but a gossamer figment of they father's illumination … that I might reach for the golden moment … the singular image of that sweet glimmering night … then upon my breast I would beseech thee, do not speak kindly, but carry a dagger and consign thyself to havoc. I'm not convinced that you're quoting Shakespeare. I suspect you're stringing together a bunch of random words. Knaves! Fiends! Avail thyself of house and bitter rain and sleep no more.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-20 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-20 Pub. Date: 2018-11-20
Image Number: 175064
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's claustrophobic? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be tight-space-a-phobic. Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is language? It should be talkuage.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-28 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-28 Pub. Date: 2018-08-28
Image Number: 173789
Caption: Armed guards were everywhere. I couldn't take a chance. So I hid and interviewed the Central American toddler refugee from there. What's your name? Nuq oh Pongllj'e? Where are you from? NuqDaq DaDab? So what did the little boy say? Nothing. I'd accidentally set my translate app to Klingon.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-08 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172072
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-10 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-10 Pub. Date: 2018-03-10
Image Number: 169168
Caption: … so he tried to sneak out a note that said please help me, but I caught him. Excuse me … I couldn't help but overhear. A note can't say anything. As awkward as it may sound, the correct word isn't said, it's read. What would you like your tombstones to read? Perfect!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-09 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-09 Pub. Date: 2018-01-09
Image Number: 167090
Caption: … So then I told him "You've begged me to untie you no less than fifteen times already. I'm sick of it." Pardon me. Couldn't help but overhear. It's actually "fewer," not "less." "Fewer" is for things you count. "Less" is for things you don't count. How'd you like to have fewer days ahead of you? Yes, yes. Much better.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-03 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166781
Caption: Behold, for I am come unto you, who will deliver my New Laws … Clyde. Clyde! Keep it down. Come no closer. Take off they shades, for the place where you lie is holy ground. You sure that ain't "lay," bruh? I … I do not think so. I am pretty sure it is "lie." Why don't you double-check that an' get back to me 'round noon. One "layeth" down a book. One "lieth" in the be ... this is not the point.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-23 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-23 Pub. Date: 2017-11-23
Image Number: 165150
Caption: All right, Sherry, let's meet up after and I'll help you bury it. Pardon me … couldn't help but overhear … It's unnecessary to add "up" after "meet." … And it's as strange as saying "let's dance up," or "let's sleep up." For that matter, what's with people who say "eat up"? Are you trying to catch a beat-down? "Down"? See how arbitrary it is?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-15 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-15 Pub. Date: 2017-11-15
Image Number: 164872
Caption: So … Lemont … where's that "Vancouver"? For a "girlfriend," she sure isn't around much. She's on a big book tour. Her book's been translated into 23 languages, so her tour's taking her everywhere. You don't seem to like her much. That's you imagination. She's lovely. Oh. Well, anyway, that's why I don't see her much. Right now she's in Djibouti to start the Africa leg of her tour. (Sigh) That old excuse.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-23 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 162853
Caption: If I promise to get you a new book tomorrow, will you go to sleep? Ith that a bwibe? Awe we cowooding? What do you mean "are we colluding?" Where did you hear language like that? Are you listening at my door while I'm watching the news again? You know you're not supposed to do that. If you'we impeached, do I become the new daddy? Go ... to ... sleep.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-26 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161805
Caption: I saw all them tweets you made this mornin' about how both sides need to come together … about how even though both sides have very different views of what our defining principles ought to be, we should respect each other. I was almost with you right till the last tweet, which don't make no sense, bruh. #startrekdiscovery fans + #oldschooltrek fans, stop the madness! is pretty self-explanatory, Clyde. What language is you even speaking?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-16 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154535
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed censored I can't believe I owe five censored thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when He's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-04 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149307
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's "claustrophobic"? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be "tight-space-a-phobic." Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is "language?" It should be "talkuage."
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-16 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-16 Pub. Date: 2016-09-16
Image Number: 148483
Caption: I've been in long-distance relationships too, so I know how you feel. The fear that they aren't as into you as you're into them, but you're too far away to pick up on the body language. The near certainty that while you're hundreds of miles away, someone else has got their hands all over them. I hadn't really thought about any of that. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. Bus. 7 9 18 27 F 6
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-01 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146688
Caption: Hi! I'm a complete stranger! You obviously came up here to enjoy the view in solitude. But I'm gonna stand right next to you as if I've never even heard of the concept of "personal space." I'm gonna avoid eye contact in hopes you'll go away. Good thing I can't pick up on body language.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-04 language 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-04 Pub. Date: 2016-06-04
Image Number: 143923
Caption: Have fun, Sherry! When you're done, take the chainsaw back here to me. Pardon me … couldn’t help but overhear … What you really meant to say was "bring," not "take." "Take" would only be appropriate if you were NOT going to be here when she got back. I will bring you great pain and suffering. Perfect! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-26).
     
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