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Candorville

Comics about just leaving.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (51 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-04 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-04 Pub. Date: 2019-09-04
Image Number: 179296
Caption: I got a left sock, a. kidney bean an' a bootleg video of … never mind. Wait … A bootleg video of what? You can't just start a sentence like that and not finish it. It's a video some brotha given' a career day speech to kids in the Monroe High auditorium. Bruh was reeeal nervous. I was not nerv -- I mean, it wasn't me. I ain't never seen nobody projectile vomit they entire lunch before.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-25 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-25 Pub. Date: 2019-05-25
Image Number: 177721
Caption: Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking You get what you pay for. Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in word or in deed?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-26 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-26 Pub. Date: 2019-04-26
Image Number: 177327
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some old quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. My bad can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-12 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-12 Pub. Date: 2018-09-12
Image Number: 173984
Caption: This country's moved too far to the left. You can tell every time you turn on the tv. There used to be shows like Little House on the Prairie, which taught good, wholesome family values … and Gunsmoke, which taught good, wholesome respect for the sheriff's proper role as judge, jury and executioner ... and The Munsters which taught us good, wholesome disdain for multiculturalism. Wait ... are you just messing with me?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-30 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-30 Pub. Date: 2018-07-30
Image Number: 173240
Caption: Dick, when I got to work today, everything in my office had been moved a few inches to the left. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. You should like you're imagining things. Maybe you need to take some time off. I could take over your client list while you're recuperating. Just to help out. No, thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. You're excused. You sure? I could book you a relaxing cruise to Syria. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-22 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-22 Pub. Date: 2018-07-22
Image Number: 172923
Caption: Dear "Critic," I read your article about how Star Trek gets its own impulse drive all wrong. You said that even though Star Trek SAYS it's not faster than light, it HAS to be, because of all the times they said they had to leave the star system before jumping to warp speed. Sigh ... not again ... Impulse drive is not faster than light!!! you're a two-dimensional thinker. Has it occurred to you they could leave a star system by flying UP, out of the ecliptic plane? Moron!!! Dear reader, light passing Jupiter would take 250 minutes to reach Neptune. But in the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery, they start a conversation as they're passing Jupiter, end it ten seconds later as they're passing Neptune ... Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t - ... at which point the captain says Have we left the Sol system? The navigator says yes, and the captain says Take us to warp ... I rest my case. I was wrong. I was wrong. Just once let someone restore my faith in humanity by just admitting they were wrong. Discovery isn't REAL Star Trek.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-03 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-03 Pub. Date: 2018-06-03
Image Number: 171757
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... Every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-11 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-11 Pub. Date: 2018-05-11
Image Number: 171293
Caption: How come everyone leaves work early on Fridays, Clyde? People just have no work ethic. What ever happened to It ain't over 'til the f … um … I mean, what ever happened to It ain't over 'til it's over? What was you gonna say, Big L? Nothing that's become incredibly, horrendously outdated and offensive. you was gonna say 'Til the fat lady sing, wasn't you? Never.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-31 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-31 Pub. Date: 2017-08-31
Image Number: 162090
Caption: I got into a Twitter feud wit @joanwalsh. @davidshuster asked her and @joyannreid to apologize for using the term "alt left." I backed him up. When they and @govhowarddean used the term against progressives, they helped validate it. And that helps @realdonaldtrump neutralize the toxicity of the term "alt right" ... which makes it harder to fight white supremacy. I think I won. I'm going to give @govhowarddean a piece of my mind too. Are you @trying to @change-the-subject because you're @losing the @argument about @josswhedon's @divorce? It's just @joss. And I'm @changing-the-subject because it's @none-of-our-business.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-08 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-08 Pub. Date: 2017-08-08
Image Number: 161292
Caption: Looks like the Affordable Care Act is here to stay. That's right … sucker. What? Everyone know the ACA was a Republican idea. We came up with it as an alternative to single-payer health care. We knew the only way to make the left embrace it was for the right to attack it. You hate us so much that if we attack it, you cling to it like it's your dear old momma. We even let it be "saved" at the last minute, just to seal your love affair with it. Yeah, right. Like this was all part of some "master plan." McCain hammed it up a little at the end, but it was a nice touch.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-27 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-27 Pub. Date: 2017-03-27
Image Number: 156197
Caption: Are you still mad at me for not telling you I'm moving to Canada? Well, you don't have to be. I'm not moving. I called every mortgage broker Google knew, and I can't qualify for a mortgage. I'm self-employed. It's a lot harder for self-employed people to get loans. So can we just pretend I never mentioned I was leaving? OK. Glad we got that settled.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-23 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153701
Caption: I sense the tides have shifted, Rosencrantz. The pendulum has reversed its swing. A page has been turned. A new character has entered stage left. And nothing will ever, ever be the same. The tale has been sent down a fateful path, which ends either in exaltation or oblivion, we know not which. Oh ... wait ... perchance I just have gas. Served you right for stealing my week-old sandwich.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-02 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150473
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year. 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. "My bad" can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-24 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141854
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump to warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system, they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-11 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-11 Pub. Date: 2016-02-11
Image Number: 138874
Caption: Dick, when I got to work today, everything in my office had been moved a few inches to the left. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. You sound like you're imagining things. Maybe you need to take some time off. I could take over your client list while you're recuperating. Just to help out. No thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. You're excused. You sure? I could book you a relaxing cruise to Syria.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-19 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-19 Pub. Date: 2016-01-19
Image Number: 137945
Caption: How long you gonna be here, Big L. Oh, I don't know … If my son and I are in your way, we can leave: Even though it's 40-below outside … and even though you come over to my place ALL THE TIME whether I'm home or not. If you want us to leave, Clyde, just say the word. The word. NOT LEAVING!!!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-05 just left 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128670
Caption: But if you just watch. I ain't wanna talk about this, Big L. But why can't we talk about it? 'Cause there only so many words we get to hear an' say before we die. The average person say 370,110,001 words in his lifetime, bruh. Way I see it, I ain't got but 180,000,000 left. I ain't gonna waste nary a one of them on that corny @*$%. Besides, Star Track Next Generation been off the air 20 years now, bruh. I'm just saying, once you notice Worf doesn't have any ears, you can't ever unnotice it.
     
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