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The Joke Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-01-11 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-01-11 Pub. Date: 2019-01-11
Image Number: 175616
Caption: Sometimes gramma gets mad at grampa. How come? Who knows? She always thinks I should know why, but I usually don't. It could be any number of things. Why don't you ask her? Ha! What's a good one, son!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-02 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-02 Pub. Date: 2019-01-02
Image Number: 175664
Caption: First, I didn't suffer concussions when I played football. Second, I'm not a meathead. Third, how can you joke about football injuries? Joke? I feel badly for you. You're an arrested adolescent, obsessed with picking up chicks, going nowhere in your career. Obviously, that's a result of your head trauma. Your brain's taken more shots than Ansel Adams' camera. It's gotten more shots than a kid with rabies! that's not joking? Sorry, I thought it would go over your squished head.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-29 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175157
Caption: Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
     
4. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2018-11-04 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2018-11-04 Pub. Date: 2018-11-04
Image Number: 174729
Caption: Sit. Good boy. Now, down. Good. Now play dead. Good. Now do stand up. A priest and rabbi walk into a bar …
     
5. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-10-30 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-10-30 Pub. Date: 2018-10-30
Image Number: 174608
Caption: Knock! Knock! Who's there? Lava. Lava who? Just lava. Sort of like Cher or Madonna or Seal. Seal who?
     
6. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2008-01-09 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2018-10-09 Pub. Date: 2008-01-09
Image Number: 21085
Caption: Irony. Because of the writers' strike, comedians have been unable to think up jokes about how the President can't talk.
     
7. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2008-01-04 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2018-10-03 Pub. Date: 2008-01-04
Image Number: 21049
Caption: Whoa, easy there! I'm just yankin' your chain!
     
8. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-10-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174198
Caption: Knock! Knock! Who's there? A box of ready-to-make meals for the weak. You mean week. You're the guy too lazy to go to the grocery store. Chef Couch Potato.
     
9. Comic Strip Bob Thaves  King Baloo 1990-01-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: King Baloo
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 1990-01-01
Image Number: 5108
Caption: We're holding a peace conference. Give me two dozen whoopee cushions. NOVELTIES.
     
10. Comic Strip Mike Twohy  That's Life 2003-02-28 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2018-08-20 Pub. Date: 2003-02-28
Image Number: 3567
Caption: He wasn't kidding--the appetizer is a corn dog!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-01 Pub. Date: 2018-08-01
Image Number: 173259
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, You are amazingly funny. What is your secret? -Alexandria. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Losers. Pardon? Every time I see a whiny, pathetic, technology-addicted jerk, my only possible release is to make a joke at their expense. You hear this one? A Rudy walks into a bar with a bird on his head ... NOT FUNNY! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-09}
     
12. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2007-03-19 joke 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2018-07-23 Pub. Date: 2007-03-19
Image Number: 16625
Caption: Is everything a joke to you? No, some things are puns.
     
13. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-07-06 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-07-06 Pub. Date: 2018-07-06
Image Number: 172498
Caption: Today's word o' the day is "bloviate." I give up. What happens when you hear a funny joke with a mouthful of V8.
     
14. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2018-06-26 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2018-06-26
Image Number: 172389
Caption: Why?
     
15. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2007-03-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2007-03-01
Image Number: 16221
Caption: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! You kill me!!! Just say when.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-20 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172384
Caption: Periodically, Sadie Cohen gets jacked up on caffeine, then goes to the US post office. Once she gets to the counter, she starts chatting and asks endless questions, stopping up the line for hours, frustrating to no end the people behind her. It's her favorite practical joke and, frankly, one of the darkest things the human eye can witness. Enjoy! What's your opinion of the two-day certified mail to Wichita? Move it, lady!
     
17. Comic Strip Bob Thaves  King Baloo 1990-01-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: King Baloo
Viewable Date: 2018-05-22 Pub. Date: 1990-01-01
Image Number: 2906
Caption: …and he's the guy who's going to balance the budget?!
     
18. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-05-08 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171130
Caption: Cooking segment??? Why do we need a cooking segment? To break up the strip. Here's a list of recent story lines … Skin cancer week, salad bartender week, Pigmies week, Dick the Cat dies week and toupee week. Skin cancer is no joke. Which is why we need a cooking segment. Who wants to chop the squirrel?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-21 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-21 Pub. Date: 2018-04-21
Image Number: 170597
Caption: So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-18 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170576
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia … which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for year. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia. 2002.
     
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