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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-04 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-04 Pub. Date: 2019-08-04
Image Number: 178815
Caption: Waaahhh. Please, Milo. Stop crying. Look, Milo. I'm making a funny face. Waah. I'm waving my arms in the air! Waah. I'm pouring burning coffee on my head. Waaah. Waaaaaaaahhh. Look at this dog. Isn't it disgusting and hairy wairy? Humiliating on every level. Giggle.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-09 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-09 Pub. Date: 2019-07-09
Image Number: 178473
Caption: Help me! I am unprofitable? This is why you are condemned to wear the red letter U. It can't be. I've raised prices, cut labor costs, I … wait … Isn't the letter supposed to be scarlet? You're in the red. Failed Capitalist.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-12 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-12 Pub. Date: 2019-04-12
Image Number: 177157
Caption: This café isn't the same without Sadie. I thought she annoyed you. I just did a market analysis and it turns out that her aggravating temperment entertains our patrons. That old wind bag is good for business. Until she gets well, I'm testing replacements. Hey loser, you stink like my armpit! Yawn.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-09 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-09 Pub. Date: 2019-04-09
Image Number: 177154
Caption: Hello, Mrs. Cohen, come into my office. Would you like your grandson to join us? Are you kidding? This boob isn't my relation!!! Ha. You guys are adorable together. Aaaaaah!!! Aaaaah!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-03 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176368
Caption: Liberation. You've removed your hypochondria mask. Is flu season over? Possibly for good. There's new research that shows that the warming of the globe is inhospitable to those @#$% flu bugs. The viruses thrive on cold weather. That might be why fly and head colds have been relatively mild. It's just wonderful. Of course, I still won't be shaking hands, or hugging, which are disgusting habits. And we'll all die when the planet overheats because we have no ozone. Are you sure you @#$ whining isn't catching?! Try vitamin C for a melted face.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-27 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-27 Pub. Date: 2019-02-27
Image Number: 176511
Caption: So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-03 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-03 Pub. Date: 2019-01-03
Image Number: 175665
Caption: You look exhausted. I stayed up all night watching footage of my old football games. Sadie's right. I found three highlights where I got his so hard in the head I got carried off the field. What if something happened to me? What if my brain isn't functioning correctly? If someone's brain was fine, he'd give me money to buy an XBox game. I can't even follow that sentence! What's happening?!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-01 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174750
Caption: The cleansing process isn't working. For some reason, I can't seem to purge myself of the urge to hit on chicks. Why bother? I do it once a year for a week so that I can prove I have some control over my life and urges and so I can see new things in the world, besides just hot gals. For instance, did you know we have a bicameral democracy? Duh. Learned during cleansing '86, the year after discovering low-fat cheese. Of equivalent efficacy.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-03 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-03 Pub. Date: 2018-10-03
Image Number: 174305
Caption: You got any biscuits? I like 'em with gravy. You smoke? Isn't that taboo? Mind your beeswax. Beeswax? Didn't that catchphrase go out years ago? I feel like Michael Douglas. Who? Actor. Can't go in public without being recognized. Can't live up to my rep, see. The herald's stuck in the past?!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-20 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-20 Pub. Date: 2018-08-20
Image Number: 173683
Caption: Fireside Chat with: Recession Man! Isn't the recession technically over? Technically. But people are still hurting. It's tough out there. So if I can be of aid to a distressed gal … Just distressed gals? I don't understand the question. Tune in for a chat with: Recession Man!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-26 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2018-06-26
Image Number: 172517
Caption: PEOPLE OF ARIZONA! This isn't Arizona. Stick with me. Fine. Arizonans: Walk up to a cop, pull out your immigration papers and demand to be checked! Bury the bigots in the paper!!! Bury me in earplugs.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-12 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-12 Pub. Date: 2018-05-12
Image Number: 171300
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Who do you thin has the best fries? McDonald's or Arby's? That depends. Which one is still fried in cattle grease? I know one or the other of them caved in to the anti-clogged-arteryists and switched to vegetable oil years ago. Health-fetishists ruin everything! Health isn't bad. Health is like everything else, too much of it is unhealthy!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-30 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171058
Caption: Hey boss, mind if I give the 3-day-old muffins to Homeless Harry instead of throwing them out? Are you insane? Do you have any idea how many people are becoming homeless and moving into the alley every day? Three years ago it was just Homeless Harry. But now it's also Wandering Wanda, Displaced Daryl, Desolate Davina, Forlorn Farzad, Dispossessed Dale, Outcast Oswald, Derelect Daphne, Exiled Evan, Refugee Rachel, Itinerant Irving, and Vagabond Vernon. Tomorrow it could be Yomeless You, you know. Yomeless isn't a word, so that's not possible.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-26 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170878
Caption: What do you mean you want me to vote illegally this November? I'm registered. Yes … but Ernesto isn't. Ernesto Mumumba Chang Yurchenkovitz is an illegal immigrant who tunneled his way across the Atlantic to vote for tax-raising liberal café regulators. Report to the alley at two a.m. Someone who's definitely not me will leave you a big fake mustache, a Yo Soy Ernesto t-shirt, and an ISIS membership card. When you're caught voting, public sentiment will swing our way. You have some never asking me to do this after refusing to let me take a potty break. Stop whining. My inside man at ICE will make sure you're probably not deported.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-25 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170877
Caption: Senator Kamala Harris isn't exactly winning over progressives, she's refusing to refuse giant corporate donations. Progressives hate that. She said as long as we have rules that make us disclose the donors, then the voters will know, and so what's the problem? Sound logic. Voting for her anyway doesn't mean we refuse her for refusing to refuse them. I suspect if we accept that she accepts bribes, that just means we're neglecting to inspect our elected. Fine, except I expect you to accept that I take exception to that.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-21 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169640
Caption: I had to lay off all the employees at my backup business. Backing people up in online arguments isn't profitable anymore? Not after last night. President Trump found out I was backing up Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, so he slapped a 30% tariff on my industry. Suddenly my foreign employees were costing me a fortune. So you're going to hire Americans to argue, then? No, I'm going to automate the whole thing. I've already programmed the hate-bot.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-04 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168535
Caption: I wonder what life was like before the internet. What are you talking about? You don't have to wonder what life was like before the internet. You were here! We have no proof of that. I've googled myself. There's no reference to me existing prior to 1994. No blog posts, no photos, no tweets. I mean sure, you can find my birth certificate, but that means nothing. There is nothing online that was written by me, personally prior to 1994. Stop that!!! I found a box of old polaroids. They're supposedly pictures of me as a child. But there's no proof of that. There are no photos of me that have verifiable metadata or time stamps prior to 1994. Don't look at me like that. There isn't a single link proving you existed prior to 1997 ... so respect your elders. Stop that!!!
     
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