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Candorville

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261. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
262. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-26 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-26 Pub. Date: 2010-09-26
Image Number: 52197
Caption: I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. Ok … Good … Lemont, how do you feel about what it just said? IT'S B.S.!!! Don't I spend a whole hour every day just listening to you and gazing into you? He used to spend four hours a day doing that. But now he spends most of his time with the internet. I can't deal with this jealousy! It's like he gives the internet a meal. And all I get are crumbs. I bet he's thinking about his iPhone right now. I AM! ... NOT! I AM NOT!
     
263. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-27 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-27 Pub. Date: 2010-07-27
Image Number: 50000
Caption: Both Stephen King and Lemont Brown create books that fall into the realm of satire … … And, I would argue, pretty dark satire sometimes. Both were raised by single, working-class mothers … Both worked as columnists for their college newspapers … Both have social security numbers that end in 5555 ... Google is evil.
     
264. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-25 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-25 Pub. Date: 2010-07-25
Image Number: 49785
Caption: Dear Dimwit … I just read your latest blog post about the executives at Behemoth Oil who keep saying the oil spill that flooded the whole city wasn't actually all that bad. You called them "liars." Where do you get off insulting people like that? You don't know them. Only a stupid moron with no real argument would resort to insults, you idiot. Irony isn't lost on this guy, it ran away. Is your whole family as dumb as you, or are you a mutant?
     
265. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-17 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-17 Pub. Date: 2010-07-17
Image Number: 49542
Caption: twitter. Twitter.com/(No Suggestions). Turned on CNN. First words I heard were "dirty colonoscopy equipment." Turned off CNN.
     
266. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-04 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-04 Pub. Date: 2010-04-04
Image Number: 45685
Caption: Dear Moron … I am offended by your latest "blog" where you wrote that you're tired of people being offended about everything. It's very insulting of you to imply that people who take offense do so because they're just oversensitive. The easily offended play a vital role in our society and we're tired of being persecuted and mocked. I believe it was Martin Luther King, Jr. who dreamt of a day when the easily offended could sit at a lunch counter without being disturbed by any inappropriate menu items. Everybody co-opts everything. I demand an apology on behalf of all offended Americans.
     
267. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-03 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-03 Pub. Date: 2010-04-03
Image Number: 45684
Caption: I love online dating. TAKE THAT, DARWIN! Huh? Darwinism's all about disparate creatures hanky-pankying and mixing random genetic traits to produce "evolve" offspring … But Date - a - Chick.com takes the randomness out of reproduction. I can order someone exactly like me! The internet killed Darwin.
     
268. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-01 Pub. Date: 2010-04-01
Image Number: 45682
Caption: I saw your profile on a Date - a - chick.com, "Captain Sisko." You have no proof that's MY profile, Susan. It said you want a woman who's a cross between Beyonce and Princess Amidala. PRINCESS LEIA!!! Amidala was just a cheap, two-dimensional plot device that ... I rest my case. You play dirty.
     
269. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-31 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-31 Pub. Date: 2010-03-31
Image Number: 45681
Caption: Date - a - chick.com Thank you for creating an account. Please complete your profile honestly. Now add a "headline." For example, write "Great catch looking for love." Headline: "Flawed human being looking for an absolute perfection." Let us rephrase. Please lie. "Looking for love."
     
270. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-30 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-30 Pub. Date: 2010-03-30
Image Number: 45680
Caption: Date - a - chick.com. Charming, happy man who doesn't have a bitter bone in his body … … about his evil harpy ex who made his life a living nightmare … … seeks equally happy woman. Start over. Too mushy?
     
271. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-29 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-29 Pub. Date: 2010-03-29
Image Number: 45679
Caption: Date - a - chick.com Welcome, Please choose a username. Captai … Tap tap tap tap tap. Captain Kirk. Tap tap tap click. Error: please choose a username that will HELP you find a woman.
     
272. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-05 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-13 Pub. Date: 2008-01-05
Image Number: 21003
Caption: Blog hungry. Blog must have new column from Lemont soon or Blog will starve. Blog tie up little editor. Will release when have new column. …Otherwise will harm. Xoxo, Blog. Hey, at least your editor has a sense of humor.
     
273. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-10 Pub. Date: 2010-02-10
Image Number: 43925
Caption: I have my doubts that you're truly recovering, Lemont. I told you … … I accept that the vampires and demons I've seen all year were all in my head. Nevertheless, I want to try a novel approach. Hypnotism? Shock therapy? Post your delusions to an anonymous twitter account and then watch as all your followers tell you you're insane. Can I see your degree again? Hear me out ...
     
274. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-16 Pub. Date: 2010-01-16
Image Number: 42962
Caption: Twitter twitter.com/candorville. At Walmart, dude asks if I have a lighter. I reply "Depends. I'll have 2 check your underpants 1st." Turns out not every1 follows the news. Tap tap tap.
     
275. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-05 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-05 Pub. Date: 2009-11-05
Image Number: 40342
Caption: You have two seconds to tell me who you are and why you're in my house, or my vicious dog will kill you. My name is Saxon Kenchu. What I am about to tell you will chill you to the bone and shatter your beliefs about the world. What, that you're the son of a mixed marriage between a vampire and a vampire hunter and your mother is trying to enslave the world? I read all that nonsense back when Lemont twittered it. Stupid internet spoilers.
     
276. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-20 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-08 Pub. Date: 2006-05-20
Image Number: 13788
Caption: It's all downhill for me now. My best days are behind me. You shouldn’t be seen with me, it'll just embarrass you. Susan, I'm a has-been. There used to be 58 references to me on Google, and now there are only 52. Dios mio.
     
277. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-16 Pub. Date: 2009-07-16
Image Number: 36192
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. I, Lemont Brown, confess I am not a reporter. I am an American spy and I caused the fake Iranian "Green Revolution." After I watched the Reman Captain Nero go back thru time 2 change Federation history in "Star Trek," CIA sent me here 2 change Iran. See? Lemont's giving us a signal so we know they're forcing him to say this! Everyone knows Nero was a Romulan, not a Reman! And he didn't change history, he created an alternate reality, leaving the original timeline intact! Dios mio I hang around Lemont way too much. Tell General Kirk I'm sorry he failed the Kobayashi Maru test.
     
278. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-15 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-15 Pub. Date: 2009-07-15
Image Number: 36191
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. Trying 2 interview Basij, Iran's secret police. But Basij only paying attention 2 people in green. Will put on green hat 2 get their attention. Don't do that! They don't see me. Raising hand, like at press conferences. No! Stop it with the hand! Basij running over for interview. Will start w/ softball question 2 form bond. Dios mio!!
     
279. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-03 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-03 Pub. Date: 2009-07-03
Image Number: 35736
Caption: Two weeks ago in Tehran … Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Twitter. Iran's "Green Revolution" exciting. With any luck, may actually bring about a kinder, gentler oppressive theocracy.
     
280. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-01 Pub. Date: 2009-07-01
Image Number: 35734
Caption: Two weeks ago … Twitter. IranProtestr: Mousavi & Staff have been arrested. Oh no! RandmStrangr: Iranian militia storming local comic book store. Oh N … Huh? Twitter might not be the ideal source for news. iMightBcrazy: Supreme Leader Khamenei deposed by Conan O'Brien.
     
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