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| Candorville |
| Result page: | 1 | (13 images) |
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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-18 |
| Image Number: |
175844 |
| Caption: |
I read your new article about Jazmine Barnes getting shot. What'd you think? I think you were right about gang violence and about fatherless homes and about uneducated, hopeless young men. But you were dead wrong about gun control, and about taxpayer-funded daycare and youth camps, and about pouring tax dollars into poor school districts. So ... you like pointing out problems, but you hate pointing out solutions. Is solutions the name of your Marxist unicorn?
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-02-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-02-17 |
| Image Number: |
123052 |
| Caption: |
The Koch Brothers are filthy rich billionaires. They plan on spending $1 billion on the upcoming elections. I can't even afford to buy a new car, let alone a new Congress. It all makes me feel so hopeless. But then I think back to the Middle Ages. Sure there was Feudalism. But there was also jousting, and damsels, and knights. So Feudalism's not all bad. Plus, modern Feudalism is almost 92% guaranteed to not include the plague. PhD. Well, there's that. |
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-08-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-08-19 |
| Image Number: |
50979 |
| Caption: |
Meanwhile, I Roxanne's dungeon … "I told Lemont this custody fight against you is hopeless and he should quit. "Now keep your end of the deal and let me go. No, say the other part again. "All right, you evil, untrustworthy vampire whose word can't be trusted ..." D'OH! Do you prefer to be slathered in ketchup or hot mustard? |
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-08-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-08-05 |
| Image Number: |
50407 |
| Caption: |
Minutes earlier, just before the panel discussion … Public speaking easy. Just dwell on the tragedy that awaits you. Seriously … something worse than public speaking is waiting for you just around the corner. Any history of cancer in your family? No. Heart disease? No. Well, I'm sure something will come up. Lemont, your custody battle is hopeless. Give up now. Sorry, Your Lawyer. YES! |
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-03-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-03-18 |
| Image Number: |
45147 |
| Caption: |
Confession: When I realized I was in a hopeless relationship while you were in love with that Dick Fink, that loser from your office, I wanted to die. But it's ironic: the only thing keeping me from becoming bitter NOW is your successful relationship with Dick. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad passionate love affair. ... You don't say. I DO say. ... I wanna take you love-birds to dinner. |
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-12-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-31 |
| Image Number: |
42485 |
| Caption: |
Swallow this pill now, Lemont. It's an antipsychotic. It's your last chance. Swallow it and you'll wake up in Sunnyville Sanitarium. Everything will be normal again. Don't swallow it, and your hallucinations that you're some sort of epic hero will worsen. You'll sink into paranoia, see demons everywhere, and plummet into a dark, hopeless chasm of insanity and drool. Do you have chewables? I have a gag reflex, so I'd rather ... TAKE THE PILL! |
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-12-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-30 |
| Image Number: |
42484 |
| Caption: |
You came to me months ago for therapy. The love of your life had just found another man. You were engaged to an "evil" woman. Your career was disintegrating. You felt lost. Alone. Powerless against the dangers that encircled your hopeless world. You snapped. Your brain constructed an elaborate fantasy to process it all. You're imagining you're lost in Mexico, surrounded by wolves and demons. I"M YOUR LIFELINE, LEMONT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP AND HEAL! Sorry, can you repeat all that? I was twittering. |
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-12-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-29 |
| Image Number: |
42483 |
| Caption: |
You're a writer. I'll use terms you'll understand to prove you're hallucinating all this. Ever heard of the concept of the "Hero's Journey"? Of course. The protagonist gets thrust into a hopeless abyss of danger against his will, but a wise dude gives him the tools to overcome his challenges. He finds peace, obtains his goals, and returns home a hero. See. You've constructed a hero's journey in your head for yourself. The hopeless abyss: you're stuck in Mexico. You've got the wise guide ... Don't flatter yourself. |
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-09-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-09-01 |
| Image Number: |
37998 |
| Caption: |
Are you stealing from me? Why do you ask? Never mind, take it. Take it all. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. I've lost the one woman who could've made me happy. Anything you could take from me now could never compare to -- TOUCH MY STAR TREK DVDS AND I BITE YOUR FINGER OFF AT THE KNUCKLE. ... Could never compare to losing her. Freak. |
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-08-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-08-31 |
| Image Number: |
37997 |
| Caption: |
Big L, whachoo doin' sitting in here where it all dark and depressing? It's life, Clyde. Life is a dark, hopeless abyss of darknessy hopelessness. Nothing means anything. Nothing's important. It's all a futile waste of … How'd you get in my apartment? That's not important right now. |
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-01-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-01-17 |
| Image Number: |
21204 |
| Caption: |
Clyde, get over it. So a very white state voted for Obama. There's still plenty of misery and hopelessness for the thuggish rapper to exploit. And besides, Jesse Jackson won a bunch of primaries in '88, and white folks still didn't put him on the ticket. You jus' sayin' that to make me feel better. No, it's true! |
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2005-11-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-11-15 |
| Image Number: |
12206 |
| Caption: |
You heard me, No @*&$. I said you don't sound black. You just ain't down, y'know what I'm sayin'? Whatever, Clyde. I gotta go get my Star Trek on. You hopeless fool. |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2005-09-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-09-30 |
| Image Number: |
11775 |
| Caption: |
I'm Lemont Brown, from the Candorville Courier. May I interview you? I'm tired. Go away. I done told everything already. Told reporters how I lost everything. What good does it do? Will telling my story one more time bring my wife back? Will it bring back our house? Will it brink back my son Sam and daughter Lisa? No. That ain't the answer I was hoping for. |
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| Result page: | 1 | (13 images) |
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