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Candorville

Comics about hits and hitting.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (53 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-28 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-28 Pub. Date: 2019-04-28
Image Number: 177382
Caption: I'll have the special. One Cat Fur Mocha, coming up. Not today's special. I can't through here back on April 9th, 2011. You had a really delicious special that day. I want that one. I can't do that, sir. Of course you can. I mean, you don't look like the kind of guy who'd like to be hit with a bait and switch lawsuit. Your sign out front says Get the special for only $8.95! It doesn't say get today's special. Get out.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-17 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-17 Pub. Date: 2019-03-17
Image Number: 176613
Caption: Dear journalist, I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called Fake News. You wrote … some of these sites main sources seem to be their rear ends. Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your sources are any more real than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. you, one the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: Trust is in the eye of the beholder. That's actually Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, I suppose one of your sources told you that? Sad! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-27 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-27 Pub. Date: 2019-01-27
Image Number: 175735
Caption: Ever since the president announced he'd be pulling troops out of Syria, I've felt like some nefarious entity has put blinders on me. And I only see what they want me to see. Dr. Noodle. I spent all day channel-flipping between MSNBC, Fox and CNN … and reading all the usual newspapers ... and then it hit me ... I didn't read or hear a single voice saying we should not be militarily occupying other people's countries. It's as if the media's entire purpose is to pretend there is no dissenting opinion about our endless wars. Look what happened when Phil Donahue. He had the highest rated show on MSNBC. But as soon as he came out against invading Iraq, he disappeared! Anti-war voices in the media always disappear. That's a bit paran ... Hey ... where'd you ... ?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-27 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-27 Pub. Date: 2018-11-27
Image Number: 175155
Caption: Think about it: In the year 2050, we'll be able to 3-D print replacement organs. In 2050, we'll be able to reverse the aging of our cells. In 2050, we'll be able to transfer our minds to the cloud, live forever in a virtual world, or inhabit androids to live forever in the physical world. After the year 2050, no one in our generation might ever have to die. I like it when you're optimistic, Lemont. With my luck, I'll get hit by a bus in 2049.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-18 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-18 Pub. Date: 2018-10-18
Image Number: 174494
Caption: Hey boss, grand opening's a big hit. Almost all the patrons from the old café are here, plus some new ones. What do you mean almost all the old patrons? Who's missing? I want that traitor tracked down an dealt with. Call my contact at ICE. They've got ways. They'll disguise themselves as altar boys and wait in his church ... They'll hide in the slurpee machine at his favorite 7-Eleven. they'll call and say they found his wallet and then cage him when he surfaces. ICE doesn't play around. They could probably haul him here in time for customer appreciation hour. Very bad man.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-10 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171292
Caption: I'm working on an article called The Unified Theory of Everything. But I've hit a snag. Every single science-related government agency I've contacted is stonewalling me. None of them will provide someone I can interview. NASA … the EPA … USGS … NSF … NOAA ... They all gave me the phone number for a new oversight department run out of the White House. It's called the Mendacious yammering Obstruction Bureau ... MYOB?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-06 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-06 Pub. Date: 2018-04-06
Image Number: 170152
Caption: Don't tell nobody, bruh, but I just recorded a song with Hall & Otis. Hall & Oates! Really?! Maneater was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid! What that have to do with anything? That was Hall & Oates' biggest hit. Nah, bruh … Hall & Otis' biggest hit was I Got Yo Stuff, @#$%. Yeh, when they was in prison for that beatdown they gave Ice Cube.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-17 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-17 Pub. Date: 2018-02-17
Image Number: 168418
Caption: I realized this morning I'm not nineteen anymore, Susan. I was riding my bike faster than I had in years. I was flying! Pedaling hard and strong. I'd just hit warp speed … when an actual nineteen-year-old zoomed past me going twice as fast. He wasn't even breaking a sweat. I'm sure he was working hard too, Lemont. He was sipping a Slurpee and dribbling a basketball.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-03 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165351
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tries to change the subject by saying "yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … you rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix all these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters bigger'n all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them in asteroid craters? Good game, Clyde.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-16 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-16 Pub. Date: 2017-06-16
Image Number: 159155
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. Don't feel bad. You ain't the first kid to get bullied. Your daddy got bullied. An' he a success now. Day Care. He did? Who bullied my daddy? 1979. Whack! Fonzie … That's not important right now. The point is, he overcame.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-25 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158343
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-19 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-19 Pub. Date: 2017-03-19
Image Number: 155130
Caption: Dear "journalist," I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called "Fake News." You wrote " … some of these sites' main sources seem to be their rear ends." Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your "sources" are any more "real" than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. You, on the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: "Truth is in the eye of the beholder." That's actually "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Oh, I suppose one of your "sources" told you that? Sad!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-24 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-24 Pub. Date: 2016-12-24
Image Number: 152374
Caption: Merry Christmas. Sheep. What? What do you mean "sheep"? I mean, when we hit certain days on the calendar, people programming kick in. You gon' buy gifts, kill a bird, eat stuffing out its butthole, an' sit in a room with people you don't care enough about to visit the rest of the year ... 'cause you're s'posed to. Happy Sheep Day, bruh. I said Merry @#$% Christmas!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-17 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-17 Pub. Date: 2016-12-17
Image Number: 152115
Caption: She's going to find out I'm just a huge geek. I'm gonna blow this just like always. Face it, tiger … You just hit the jackpot. Get it? From amazing Spider-man #42. I always wanted to do that with the right guy. Oh no, you must think I'm a huge geek. I blew it, didn't I? I think I want to have your babies.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-23 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-23 Pub. Date: 2016-10-23
Image Number: 149364
Caption: It all started when I spanked my two-year-old son. He was out of control. He was hitting and kicking and spitting. I tried everything. I tried a timeout. I tried redirection. I tried bribery. But when he threw a clock at his baby sister's head, I realized I had to do something drastic. So I swatted him once on the behind. Very lightly. For the rest of the day, he pointed at me and said "You don't hit me. That's bad. You say you're sorry." And I couldn't even argue, because that's exactly what I always told him to tell someone if they hit him. Part of being a parent is becoming comfortable with being a hypocrite. Is two too young for military school?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-18 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-18 Pub. Date: 2016-05-18
Image Number: 143334
Caption: Prince visits Lemont's dream. Even people who weren't big fans of yours were hit hard. I think it's because your talent was undeniable. And you wrote music constantly, like you just had to. It was like you were a vessel, and music just poured through you. The last person like that was Mozart. You were our Mozart, and people realized on a gut level they'd taken you for granted. You even dressed like him for a while. It's important to know when to stop talking.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-04 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-04 Pub. Date: 2016-03-04
Image Number: 139628
Caption: Don't tell nobody, bruh, but I just recorded a song with Hall & Otis. Hall & Oates?! Really?! "Maneater" was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid! What that have to do with anything? That was Hall & Oates' biggest hit. Nah, bruh … Hall & Otis' biggest hit was "I Got Yo Stuff, @#$%." Hall & Oates recorded a song called "I Got Yo Stuff, @#$%"? Yeh, when they was in prison for that beatdown they gave Ice Cube.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-27 hit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-27 Pub. Date: 2015-10-27
Image Number: 134383
Caption: I tried to buy tickets to "Star Wars" online as soon as they were available, but they were already sold out. I grew up playing video games. I had the first Atari. The first Playstation. I had the fastest thumb on the block. But if "Star Wars" sold out before I could complete my order and hit "purchase," that means I'm ... I'm ... A geek? It means I'm getting old! My thumb is past its prime.
     
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