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Candorville

Comics about hit men.

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Result page:     (7 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-18 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-18 Pub. Date: 2018-10-18
Image Number: 174494
Caption: Hey boss, grand opening's a big hit. Almost all the patrons from the old café are here, plus some new ones. What do you mean almost all the old patrons? Who's missing? I want that traitor tracked down an dealt with. Call my contact at ICE. They've got ways. They'll disguise themselves as altar boys and wait in his church ... They'll hide in the slurpee machine at his favorite 7-Eleven. they'll call and say they found his wallet and then cage him when he surfaces. ICE doesn't play around. They could probably haul him here in time for customer appreciation hour. Very bad man.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-03 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165351
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tries to change the subject by saying "yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … you rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix all these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters bigger'n all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them in asteroid craters? Good game, Clyde.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-17 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-17 Pub. Date: 2016-12-17
Image Number: 152115
Caption: She's going to find out I'm just a huge geek. I'm gonna blow this just like always. Face it, tiger … You just hit the jackpot. Get it? From amazing Spider-man #42. I always wanted to do that with the right guy. Oh no, you must think I'm a huge geek. I blew it, didn't I? I think I want to have your babies.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-13 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-13 Pub. Date: 2009-09-13
Image Number: 38147
Caption: VH1 presents Where Are They Now? The Some-People Story: Part Two. The time was 2009, and the straw man called "some people" had hit rock bottom. I want to take your guns. Yawn. Nobody was paying attention and he collapsed in an orgy of booze-fueled self-pity. The former Titan of the false-argument industry tried to end it all. Eat me! Why won't you eat me?! Squawk? But there's a season for everything, and soon "some people's" fortunes were about to change. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Turn off that camera. Dubble Cross Health Insurance CEO. With a new name and a new purpose, he was back in the saddle again. Gimme your Grandma! I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill her! AAAAAH!!! What else is on? I'm gonna use your tax dollars to pay for illegal immigrant's vaccinations! Oh dear God! NNOOO!!!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-03 hit man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-05 Pub. Date: 2007-06-03
Image Number: 17480
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Nothing, Susan. Well … Ok. I asked Clyde about the $2 he owes me and he started whining about "the man." I call him on his bull. Told 'im he was a whiner, always has been and always will be. Then suddenly I realized … I was whining. That's when it hit me: You can't accuse someone of whining without whining yourself. It's the whine paradox. That's ridiculous. Think Nietzsche put it best ... "If you look long into a whine, the whine looks back at you." "Abyss," not "whine." Stop whining. D'oh!
     
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