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Candorville

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Result page:     (13 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-21 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169628
Caption: Is it all just a waste of time? I don't know what you mean, bruh. I wrote an article called Mr. President, if you want to look like you're Russia's stooge, firing your Secretary of State right after he strongly criticizes Russia is a great way to do it. Just seconds after I posted it, thousands of people attacked me on Twitter, and I've been debating them ever since. But now I'm not sure any of them were actual people. If they was actual people, they'da tuned you out after that long-@#$ headline, like I did.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-28 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166536
Caption: I saw that review of The Last Jedi you posted, Big L. You need to cut that out. You said it made you feel like a kid again. You said Luke Skywalker was amazing. You said it was the bet thing since Empire. Then I saw the movie. That spit was the worst thing since Phantom Menace. Your Jedi mind tricks ain't gonna change that. A positive review isn't a Jedi mind trick just 'cause you disagree with it. Your headline was this is the Star Wars you're looking for.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-16 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-16 Pub. Date: 2017-04-16
Image Number: 156261
Caption: I read your article about the "Russian-y Hall" scandal. I have a question. Fire away, Susan. Why "Russian-y Hall"? Why not "Russiagate"? That's your question? Not "How did you find out all that info about Trump's staffers colluding with Russia?" Not "How did you get all those interviews with the Russians who bought hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of Trump real estate in Florida?" (Sigh) ... Fine ... The Trump scandals are more reminiscent of the 19th century Tammany Hall corruption than they are of Watergate. I explained all that in the first paragraph. I thought you said you read the article! Well, I sort of didn't go any further than the "Russian-y Hall or Russian-Pot Dome?" headline.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-15 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-15 Pub. Date: 2015-09-15
Image Number: 132515
Caption: Date-A-Chick.com Suggestion: write a headline that makes you sound a bit dangerous. Date-A-Chick.com Headline: I'm the one … Date-A-Chick.com Headline: … Yoda warned Luke about before Luke went into the cave on Dagoba. Date-A-Chick.com Suggestion: Do not follow that suggestion.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-06 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-06 Pub. Date: 2013-08-06
Image Number: 100032
Caption: DATE-A-CHICK.COM. Suggestion: write a headline that makes you sound a bit dangerous. Headline: I'm the one … Headline: … Yoda warned Luke about before Luke went into the cave on Dagoba. Suggestion: Do not follow that suggestion.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-07 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-07 Pub. Date: 2013-04-07
Image Number: 95009
Caption: I soiled myself while reading the Drudge Report last month. There was a picture of North Korea's dictator and Drudge's bright read headline screamed … WAR DRUMS: US DEPLOYS MISSILES. After soiling myself and barricading us all in the basement, I checked Huffington Post to corroborate it. ... But their headline was tiny and just said "US To Beef Up Missile Defense Against N. Korea." Huffpost readers may have cleaner shorts, but it's Drudge reader who'll know to lock out doors when nuclear Armageddon breaks out.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-14 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-14 Pub. Date: 2012-10-14
Image Number: 88131
Caption: Dear Idiot ... I read your "article" about how it's more appropriate to call MIDDLE CLASS CONSUMERS "job creators," because job growth relies on consumer demand. I was EXTREMELY OFFENDED! Your headline was written in HELVETICA, the most heartless, totalitarian font in the world. It's totally devoid of the smooth and supple body of Garamond. Or the firm yet polite lines of Times New Roman. Must respond in COMIC SANS. A man who knows nothing about fonts clearly knows nothing about macro-economics. Buy Candorville books at www.candorville.com.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-31 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-31 Pub. Date: 2010-03-31
Image Number: 45681
Caption: Date - a - chick.com Thank you for creating an account. Please complete your profile honestly. Now add a "headline." For example, write "Great catch looking for love." Headline: "Flawed human being looking for an absolute perfection." Let us rephrase. Please lie. "Looking for love."
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-19 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-19 Pub. Date: 2009-12-19
Image Number: 41950
Caption: In other news, the president is escalating the War in Afghanistan. This just in: thousands of Americans died this year for lack of health insurance. Zzzzz. In other news, Tiger Woods has SEX! Munch munch. Top story: thousands of Americans lost their jobs this month.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-13 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-13 Pub. Date: 2009-07-13
Image Number: 36189
Caption: Iran. Two weeks ago. What're you doing here? Covering the big story. Don't interrupt. Boom! Bam! Aaah. Sorry. He's rude. Continue. My sisters are still fighting in the streets for our voice to be heard. And the tyrants are still killing us. Bam! But the world has a short attention span. I am afraid the world will soon move on and forget all about us. Pow! Death to tyrants! God is great! Ouch! Again, you're avoiding my question: How did Michael Jackson's death affect you? Aaaah! Nooo! Oh dear, God!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-11 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-11 Pub. Date: 2009-07-11
Image Number: 35973
Caption: Lemont calls the paper. What do you mean James Olsen's not in? I need to know if he got those Iran protest stories I filed. … What do you mean "elbow strain"? … Yes, I know Michael Jackson died. What's that have to -- Every editorial cartoonist in the country sent drawings of Michael Jackson moonwalking through the pearly gates. Mr. Olsen started shouting "Lazy! Cloying! Aaarggh!" Wha -- you're breakin' up. It sounded like you said "He personally beat them all down with a sock full of quarters."
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-07 headline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-07 Pub. Date: 2009-05-07
Image Number: 32173
Caption: In an alternate reality, the events of 1948 happen instead of 2009. Sorry, boss, I can't possibly read this depressing news in an excited tone. I'd feel like a heel. Yer a good man, Brown. You got principles. But what the people want is excitement, see? I don't know, boss. I got another story for ya to read, then. The headline: "Miracle Cure for Principles Found! It's Called Getting Fired!" President Obama says "It's better not to point fingers" and pardons the Japanese war criminals who tortured our boys! Now that takes moxie!
     
Result page:     (13 images)