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Candorville

Comics about guarantees and guaranteeing.

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Result page:     (8 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-27 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-27 Pub. Date: 2019-10-27
Image Number: 180026
Caption: $12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? American's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by led, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special. It's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Out bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-18 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-18 Pub. Date: 2019-07-18
Image Number: 178562
Caption: Candorville.com says we discovered tons of microbes living deep inside the earth. You know what this means? Scientists are pretty sure both Venus and Mars were habitable a long time ago. If microbes ever existed on either planet, then it's almost guaranteed they're still alive there, deep inside the earth ... I mean, deep inside the Venus. And the Mars. Hey, if we get to call dirt by our planet's name, so do those alien microbes ... and so the advocacy begins. That's your earthier privilege talking.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-30 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-30 Pub. Date: 2015-10-30
Image Number: 134386
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, you've been prequalified for a debt consolidation loan from Lendingstone! You're guaranteed a loan of up to the entire amount of your debt! But since you've run up enough debt to need something like this, you're a poor credit risk; so we'll only loan you a tiny fraction of what you need. Sign here to get just enough to free up one of you cards, which you'll then use to run up even more debt. Lemont Brown.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-17 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-17 Pub. Date: 2015-02-17
Image Number: 123052
Caption: The Koch Brothers are filthy rich billionaires. They plan on spending $1 billion on the upcoming elections. I can't even afford to buy a new car, let alone a new Congress. It all makes me feel so hopeless. But then I think back to the Middle Ages. Sure there was Feudalism. But there was also jousting, and damsels, and knights. So Feudalism's not all bad. Plus, modern Feudalism is almost 92% guaranteed to not include the plague. PhD. Well, there's that.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-03 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-03 Pub. Date: 2013-10-03
Image Number: 102218
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, you've been prequalified for a debt consolidation loan from Lendingstone! You're guaranteed a loan of up to the entire about of your debt! But since you've run up enough debt to need something like this, you're a poor credit risk; so we'll only loan you a tiny fraction of what you need. Sign here to get just enough to free up one of your cards, which you'll then use to run up even more debt. Lemont Brown.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-10 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-10 Pub. Date: 2013-06-10
Image Number: 97909
Caption: You haven't responded to our last offer, Brown. We want you back. This spying-on-reporters'-emails story is heating up, and we want our top man on the case. The Candorville Chronicle. What's it going to take to seal the deal, Brown? $900k? Day care for your son? A house on the moon? A guarantee you'll still be in business in a year. Your demands are outrageous.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-28 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-28 Pub. Date: 2013-04-28
Image Number: 95776
Caption: Hello, you've reached Zombiemac.com were we can bring any computer except yours back from the dead. Zombiemac.com, home of the on-site repair specialists! We will come to any home except yours, which is one block past our service area. ZOMBIEMAC.COM will fix your computer and give you a 100% money-back guarantee against any future damage other than the damage that ends up happening. ZOMBIEMAC.COM, where prompt customer service is our promise to you! Hello? ... Except now, when we place you on hold for fifteen minutes. Should've gone with vampiremac.com.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-20 guarantee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-20 Pub. Date: 2007-09-20
Image Number: 18621
Caption: Federal Agent Murph visits Lemont. Lemme explain to you why a guy like me would choose to marry the unstable mother of this child. Let me explain to you why a poor black man might not want to take a rich white woman to court and try to win custody. Lemme explain why he might think the only way to guarantee a place in his kid's life is to marry the woman. ...ok, explain away. ...did you have to pass an intelligence test or anything to get your job?
     
Result page:     (8 images)