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Candorville

Comics about goals.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-23 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-23 Pub. Date: 2019-03-23
Image Number: 176840
Caption: I've decided to get Elon Musk to send me for a trip around the moon in two years. I set up a Gofundme page to crowdsource money for it. My goal is to raise ten billion dollars. That shouldn't be too hard, considering there are seven billion people on earth. Non of whom are going to give you a dime. I hope not. That would only come to seven hundred million. Annoyed? How'd you like to send me far away? Here's a link to my Gofundme.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-09 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-09 Pub. Date: 2018-09-09
Image Number: 173787
Caption: When I grow up, I wanna be a time traveler who goes back through time to tell me if time traveling pays well.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-07 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-07 Pub. Date: 2018-07-07
Image Number: 172692
Caption: 1982. Momma says she wants me to be the next Thurgood Marshall. So I asked who that is, and she said he desegregated the schools. And I asked what "desegregated" means, and she said "I'll tell you when you're older." It was at that point that I realized Momma was probably just making up words. What's a "Thurgood"? No, that one makes sense. What has a Thursday ever been bad?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-18 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 167988
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-04 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-04 Pub. Date: 2018-01-04
Image Number: 166782
Caption: I have chosen thee as my vessel, Clyde, through whom I will issue these New Commandments. This list was voted upon by a nationwide Survey-Baboon poll of white Evangelicals. Commandment Eleven: Bearing false witness is ok if it helpeth the faithful achieve their political goals. I'm gonna need to see some I.D., bruh. Commandment Twelve: The sins described in Commandments 1-10, if committed by a political ally, are fake news.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-10 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-10 Pub. Date: 2017-11-10
Image Number: 164653
Caption: 1982. When I grow up, I want to be a single dad, Lemont. You mean "single mom"? Are you kidding? Compare "Alice" or "Gloria" or "One Day at a Time" with "Diff'rent Strokes" or "Silver Spoons." Single moms all struggle for long hours in dead-end, low-wage jobs. But single dads are all millionaires who don't seem to need jobs at all. My goal in life is to prove tv wrong, is what I'm saying. Fred Sanford's a single dad and he's always having heart attacks.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-18 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157013
Caption: List of places a brotha ain't gotta visit before he die be getting' longer, Big L. Florida, 'cause of "Stand Your Ground" … Chicago 'cause of all them gunfights … the whole Middle East 'cause of Isis 'n' them … I should name the list an' trademark it. Lotta people be leavin' money on the table when they don't trademark. "Bucket List" would've been worth millions. Whachoo got that rhymes with "Bucket List"?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-24 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153702
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont? I want to be a factory worker. Then I could wear overalls and join a union and live in a big house in a small town and win the heart of a pretty girl. Papa says I'm a pretty girl. Yeah, but your dad's not rich and snobby and he'd probably approve of me. Life doesn't have to be like the movies. I just think it'd be cool to be the "boy from the wrong side of the tracks" to someone.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-11 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-11 Pub. Date: 2016-07-11
Image Number: 145816
Caption: 1982. I wanna be president when I grow up. Psht … A girl could never be president. Most people don't even like girls. Girls can't throw. Girls can't run fast. Girls watch "Care Bears." It's not what I think, it's what most people think. Most people just don't trust a "Care Bears" sympathizer who's likely to have cooties. Most people will never vote for a girl. Most people are girls, Lemont. Face facts: We're as unlikely to have a girl presidents as we are a black president.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-05 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-05 Pub. Date: 2015-12-05
Image Number: 135928
Caption: Clyde, five years ago, did you picture yourself being where you are now? Nah, bruh, I pictured myself bein' on that side of the couch. But you done messed all that up, didn't you? Another stereotype bites the dust. I think you know that's not what I meant. You know what? We could switch sides the easy way, or the hard way.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-07 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-07 Pub. Date: 2014-10-07
Image Number: 117063
Caption: Clyde, would you want to live forever? Nah, dawg, that'd ruin erethang. We all go through life with one goal: to live just long enough to outlive erebody who know about all the bad @$%# we done, and then it's like none of that @$#% ever happened. All of a sudden I feel less warm and fuzzy about all the times you've asked me how I'm doing. How you feelin', bruh?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-12 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-12 Pub. Date: 2014-02-12
Image Number: 107415
Caption: PLEASE DON'T RUN FOR CONGRESS, CLYDE! PLEASE! THINGS ARE BAD ENOUGH! 'Swrong witchoo? You an AMERICAN, son. America is exceptional. We dream BIG here. Maybe in Canada people kick they heels up an' say things is "bad enough," but I say Americans don't give up that easy. That's gonna be my stump speech. Excuse me, ma'am, which way is Canada?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-11 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-11 Pub. Date: 2014-01-11
Image Number: 105924
Caption: I'm behind schedule on the life plan I wrote when I was six, Lemont. I was supposed to make partner by last Tuesday. Oh. Well, Susan, plans have to be flexible. Real life isn't something you can script. I know that. Don't you think I know that? Sorry. I scheduled two whole years of flexibility into twenties.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-06 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-06 Pub. Date: 2014-01-06
Image Number: 105919
Caption: 2015 gonna be a busy year, Big L. I resolve to wake up earlier, hit the gym e'reday, be nice to strangers … Thug 4 Life. … Get outta debt, start goin' to the dentist, an' really get it all together. It's 2014, Clyde, not 2015. I know. This year I gotta rest up for all that.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-01 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-01 Pub. Date: 2014-01-01
Image Number: 105639
Caption: How's the resolution thing going? Still holding doors open for people behind you? Yeh, I was at Roscoe's Rib Shack … held the door open for an old man. Fool walked right through WITHOUT THANKING ME! Can you beleedat? Can I what? So then I had words with him. As soon as he agreed to be more courteous, I released him from the headlock. Wait ... what? (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-04).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-31 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-31 Pub. Date: 2013-12-31
Image Number: 105638
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV. (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-03).
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-17 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-17 Pub. Date: 2013-12-17
Image Number: 105211
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout Mandela, dawg. He lived to be 95 years old. He became president. Then he fixed a whole country. … An' that was after he was incarcerated for 27 years. That mean Mandela didn’t really get his career on till he was 72 years old. That mean I got 40 or so years before I hafta do nothin'. Don't sell yourself short, Clyde. You're doing nothin' now. Thug 4 Life.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-13 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-13 Pub. Date: 2013-12-13
Image Number: 104851
Caption: You ever think about how you runnin' outta time, Big L? You ever worry you'll die before you get to accomplish e'rething you set out to do? You ever stay awake at night 'cause you hopin' somehow you'll do somethin' … ANYTHING … to keep that day from havin' been a complete an' total waste? No. Me neither.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-08 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-08 Pub. Date: 2013-11-08
Image Number: 103509
Caption: What's wrong? I thought you liked the movie, Lemont. Yeah. I loved it. GRAVITY. While we were watching it, I thought "This is as close as I'll ever get to actually being in outer space." But then when it was over, I thought "That was as close as I'll ever get to actually being in outer space." Dios mio. When I was a kid, I thought I'd be orbiting Uranus by now.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-16 goal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-16 Pub. Date: 2013-06-16
Image Number: 97644
Caption: I spent all night Googling a car. It had to seat seven, so it could carry my kids and my in-laws. Dr. Noodle. The wife and I don’t have any kids yet, but we have one on the way … … As soon as we get married, that is. I haven't met her yet, but date-a-chick.com is a great place to meet ladies. ... And I'll sign up for that site as soon as I'm approved for a credit card. Did I mention you'll have to pay me cash upfront? I can do that, as soon as I get a job.
     
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