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Candorville

Comics about getting high.

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Result page:    2  Next  (29 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-27 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-27 Pub. Date: 2020-01-27
Image Number: 181480
Caption: That the last time I go to see a movie with you, Big L. How you gonna watch Bad Boys for Life an' stay quiet the whole !@#$ time? How you not gonna yell Watch out for that thing! even once, bruh? How you not gonna get up an' high-five people an what-not? You got no joy in you at all. Sorry my polite behavior embarrassed you. Too little too late.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-14 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-14 Pub. Date: 2020-01-14
Image Number: 181259
Caption: … and then halfway into your article, you turned into a terrorist-lover. What? You wrote Just a little while ago, when the general we just assassinated was leading the fight to crush ISIS, we were all praising him. You wrote When we get on our high horse about freedom and liberty, much of the world wants to gag because they notice how we love butchers until we no longer need them. How's that make me a terrorist-lover? When we get introspective, the terrorists win.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-04 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-04 Pub. Date: 2019-09-04
Image Number: 179296
Caption: I got a left sock, a. kidney bean an' a bootleg video of … never mind. Wait … A bootleg video of what? You can't just start a sentence like that and not finish it. It's a video some brotha given' a career day speech to kids in the Monroe High auditorium. Bruh was reeeal nervous. I was not nerv -- I mean, it wasn't me. I ain't never seen nobody projectile vomit they entire lunch before.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-02 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-02 Pub. Date: 2019-09-02
Image Number: 179294
Caption: Lemont, I'm speaking at Career Day at Monroe high. Wanna join me? No way. Historians are all gaga over President Monroe 'cause he supposedly hated slavery. But the hypocrite owned dozens of slaves. (Sigh) … You really need to get over your fear of public speaking. Sure, he once said slaves should be freed ... then he said they should be deported.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-10 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-10 Pub. Date: 2019-05-10
Image Number: 177532
Caption: What happened, bruh? When we was kids, most we had to worry about was someone had a knife. Didn't nobody bring guns to preschool an' terrorize little kids, Big L. We even had massive gang wars on campus in high school, an' not one person got shot. Ah … the good old days. In my day, we had to wait 'til we was walkin' home to get shot at.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-09 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-09 Pub. Date: 2018-12-09
Image Number: 175062
Caption: I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-06 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-06 Pub. Date: 2018-09-06
Image Number: 173882
Caption: Susan? Of all the haircuts I've ever had, which one was your favorite? Oh, that's easy. The high-top fade you had back in high school. That was amazing. Mine too. I went to Roscoe's Cuts to see if old Roscoe could do it, just like he did in the nineties. He said he's not sure my hair's thick enough to get up that high anymore. Oh. Well, there's nothin wrong with a low-top fade. He said it's almost time for a no-top fade.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-12 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-12 Pub. Date: 2018-02-12
Image Number: 168413
Caption: I can't wait to see "Black Panther"! All the critics love it! They say it's the best Marvel movie yet! They say it's the best thing in the whole entire history of things. I sure am glad they're not over-hyping this movie. I sure am glad they're not building expectations up so high that we're bound to be disappointed. You sure have been happier ever since you started this whole #sarcasm-Monday thing. Every revolutionary gets undone by his own movement.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-21 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-21 Pub. Date: 2017-10-21
Image Number: 163907
Caption: I can't remember how to divide, Clyde. Say what? Long division. I don't remember how to do it. I got an "A" in calculus back in high school. I got a "4" on the AP test. But let 20 years go by, and all of a sudden I have no idea how to even begin to divide 4,852.8 by 297.492. It take most people more than 20 years to forget how to use a calculator, bruh. You might wanna get y'self checked out.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-18 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-18 Pub. Date: 2016-12-18
Image Number: 151614
Caption: I wish I could fly, Big L. I know what you mean. Ever since I donned my first pair of underoos, I wanted to fly too. But the older I get, the more I realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. First of all, there's all the stuff in the air you'd crash into: birds, helicopters, jets, drones, power lines ... Then there are all the idiots who'd take a shot at you. And if you flew high enough to avoid all that, you'd freeze your nuggets off. Flying's one of those powers you think would be cool, but really wouldn't be. Like invisibility. I don't know what you talkin' about, bruh. I just meant I'm on the no-fly list. If you were an invisible hero, people would still see your clothes. You'd have to fight crime naked.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-24 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-24 Pub. Date: 2015-10-24
Image Number: 133803
Caption: I can't remember how to divide, Clyde. Say what? Long division. I don't remember how to do it. I got an "A" in calculus back in high school. I got a "4" on the AP test. But let 20 years go by, and all of a sudden I have no idea how to even begin to divide 4,852.8 by 297.492. It take most people more than 20 years to forget how to use a calculator, bruh. You might wanna get y'self checked out.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-10 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128069
Caption: What do you think of The X-Files coming back, Clyde? You gonna watch it? Nah, bruh, there was a time an' place for that spit, an' this ain't it no more. Back then, trenchcoats was cool. That was before Columbine. Back then, secret government conspiracies was just fiction. That was before Edward Snowman. Back then, you had a high-top fade and parachute pants. Now you ain't got no hair an' you make regular pants look like parachute pants. I've only gained 30 pounds!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-12 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-12 Pub. Date: 2014-04-12
Image Number: 109844
Caption: Hello, Concast Cable, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I'm pretty sure your merger with Cartel Cable is going to end up raising prices, so this is a great time to cancel my cable altogether and get all my favorite shows online for a fraction of the cost. At the sound of the beep, take your sky-high bills and shove them up your BEEP.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-12 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-12 Pub. Date: 2013-01-12
Image Number: 91988
Caption: Say what? I bought Lionel his first iPad. But since he's only two, he's not allowed to use it on his own. I read him stories on it once a day for about an hour. The rest of the day, I keep it with me to make sure he doesn't get online or anything. In other words, you bought yourself an iPad. I'd never spend that much money on myself.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-03 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-03 Pub. Date: 2012-06-03
Image Number: 80982
Caption: You're voting for Romney? Turns out he anti-long-hair. That's what this country need. Say what? We held down a long-haired classmate and forcibly cut off his hair in high school. I don't trust a long-haired man. Charles Manson, Anakin Skywalker, yo' momma ... On the other hand, Jesus and Snoop Dog got long hair. But they the exception that prove the rule. I can't believe your vote counts as much as mine. Thug 4 Life.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-25 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-25 Pub. Date: 2011-04-25
Image Number: 60243
Caption: Lemont … Lemont … Whuh … Whozere? Lemont … I'm running out. It's getting bored … I need you to keep your promise. Momma? Lemont, you must … "momma"? Do I sound like a woman to you? As cryptic, disembodied voices go, you're kinda high-pitched. And that's when you asked your Star Trek pin if it thought it was a mistake to stop taking your antipsychotic medicine? After it stopped nagging me.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-10 get high 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-10 Pub. Date: 2011-04-10
Image Number: 59402
Caption: Do you really think Kelly is capable of loving you? Huh? Kelly says all the right things to make you feel she needs you and understands you better than anyone ever could. That she's your "soul mate." She makes you feel alive. That's why you stubbornly ignore all the signs that show she odes not love you. She's using you to fulfill her own need for power and control. That's why every time you show her she's got you, she gets bored or annoyed and stops talking to you. Make no mistake, when she's not talking with you, she's seducing other people. The act of winning a man's unconditional love is the ultimate high, for her. It makes HER feel alive. She'll be back as soon as she tires of them or thinks she's losing you. But i text her every to tell her she's losing me, and she still hasn't come back.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (29 images)