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Rudy Park

Comics about getting a life.

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Result page:    2  Next  (27 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-06 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-06 Pub. Date: 2019-04-06
Image Number: 177051
Caption: Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-18 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-18 Pub. Date: 2019-03-18
Image Number: 176887
Caption: It's the darkest day of my life. That's sayin' something what's up? A bit of a preface. As you know, Sadie Cohen is my arch nemesis. The dark lord to my Skywalker. The Gates to by Jobs, the Yankees to my Red Sox, the Playstation to my Wii. Get to the point. The carbs to my lean meats and veggies. Oh never mind.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-01 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-01 Pub. Date: 2019-02-01
Image Number: 176041
Caption: How did you get a talking gerbil? Long, long, long story. My mom was a geneticist. My dad was a zoologist. They were in love once, but they loved their science more, and grew far, far apart. To save the marriage, they joined forces and created a talking gerbil, Herbert. A tiny creature to cherish and solidify their bond. Run for your life. I pooped myself. 'Twas a fool's errand.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-13 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-13 Pub. Date: 2018-11-13
Image Number: 174942
Caption: You are really really old and you don't have a life. GET A LIFE!!!!!!! - Haley. Actual reader letter. You want to handle this one, pardner? Pretty straight-forward. If her life is pathetic then how pathetic is your life if you're writing to comment about it? Thank you, reader. You've brought us together. condescension.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-05 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-05 Pub. Date: 2018-08-05
Image Number: 173107
Caption: Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of air? Priceless.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-20 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-20 Pub. Date: 2018-07-20
Image Number: 172985
Caption: There is something in the night. It has not a name. It cannot be grasped or understood in material terms. Walk to the highway. Huh? Walk to the highway, @#$% doofus. There's a truck coming!!! Keep it down, I'm dying here. Get moving or there'll be no nookie in this life or the next!!!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-21 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-21 Pub. Date: 2018-04-21
Image Number: 170597
Caption: So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-03 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168938
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-13 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167109
Caption: Boss, I have a suggestion for you that win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums. Listening … If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life. Ignoring. Don't you want to sleep on it?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-06 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160628
Caption: Do you remember your first kiss? There was snow on the ground. There was snow everywhere. The grown-ups were all out. My father, Rocky, was out hunting with the other fellas. The scent of willow, or maybe white sage, woke me from my peaceful slumber. I turned to see from whence it came. That's when I saw her, kneeling beside a crackling flame, her eyes and her smile aglow with dancing ribbons of amber light. Our eyes met. I strode toward her. In silence, I sat beside her. I looked deep into her eyes. She looked deeper into mine. She grunted melodically, and I leaned in ... "Grunted"? I lightly brushed my lips against hers, and then pounded my chest to claim her as my own. I meant your first kiss in this life. We donned our lion furs and rode into the snowy night on the back of a mastodon to ask the volcano for permission to get busy, as was our clan's custom.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-09 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159560
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as charming Mall within walking distance with has all the conveniences. Keep this amazing opportunity quiet. I only tell YOU because of that time we made that amazing connection. You friend, Timona. Click here for to house buy. Excellent questions. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer's true IP address, name, birthdate, physical address, and bank account number ... and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. It cost me a vinyl record, a Mountain Dew and a crate of Cheetos, but it was worth it. Ask Sadie a question (but be careful) at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-10 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155395
Caption: Boss, if you could be any animal on earth, which one would you be? I'm glad you asked, minion. I'd be a nocturnal, camouflaged Wobbegong at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. There I'd lie in wait, ever vigilant, ever hungry … ever ready to devour any creature large or small unlucky enough to brush against my whiskers. I'm going to back away now. No, no ... don't back away, minion ... That's when the Wobbegong will get you.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-25 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-25 Pub. Date: 2016-08-25
Image Number: 147677
Caption: I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds to them. But we wouldn't have private parts. Mankind isn't mankind if it doesn't have privates. I think that's one for the philosophers.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-10 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144704
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-28 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143660
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I earn $80k, and I just got a side gig that'll pay me $38k. But my tax guy says that'll make me owe $30k extra in taxes! So for all this extra work I'm doing, I'll only take home about $8,000! What's the point of even trying to get ahead?! Excellent question. It reminds me of the time my pa worked his entire life away in a coal mine in return for a burlap sack and one monthly chicken. Stop yer sniveling, you pampered princess!!!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to … well let's see … oh, I've got it … My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-01 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141149
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" advice hour. "Holden" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! I've been trying to get my wife to watch "The Expanse" on Syfy channel, but she refuses to even give it a chance. She won't watch any of my favorite shows with me. What can I do? YOU CAN GET A LIFE. Or you can continue to bug her about your tv shows, she can leave you for a romantic, oiled-up helicopter pilot, and you can watch your shows with your pet goldfish. I don't have a goldfish.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-03 get a life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-03 Pub. Date: 2016-02-03
Image Number: 138612
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (27 images)