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Candorville

Comics about being funnies.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (74 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-26 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-26 Pub. Date: 2019-09-26
Image Number: 179620
Caption: I got a job offer outta nowhere, bruh. That's funny, so did I. My old editor wants me to … Uh-uh! No. That ain't how this work. What's the matter with you? First I finish my story, then you get to tell your story. A conversation be like merging traffic. First I go, then you go. Never mind. This why they revoked your license. They revoked it because you tried to use it. That's not important right now.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-29 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-29 Pub. Date: 2019-08-29
Image Number: 179194
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-21 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-21 Pub. Date: 2019-07-21
Image Number: 178558
Caption: Did you know the New Yorker posts all its memees on Twitter and on its site? Memes? Yeah, you know, memes. Where they take an image and put a caption over it. The combination of image and caption makes it funny. My generation invented meme culture. I think you're describing cartoons. The other day, I came across a video of Harvard professor Cornell West dancing with his students. HOJ. He was really good at it. It was cute watching a Boomer try to co-opt my generation's movement culture. I do with the New Yorker and Cornell West would bne more original, though. Millennials are an interesting bunch. Was that snark, Boomer? Keep that up and I'll make sure you get ratioed on Twitter.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-15 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-15 Pub. Date: 2019-07-15
Image Number: 178559
Caption: Scientists recently discovered billions of tons of bacteria and microbes living hundreds of meters inside earth. You're not going to tell some joke about this being a groundbreaking discovery, are you? Of … course … I'm not. Good. That would be beneath me. Dios mio.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-30 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-30 Pub. Date: 2019-05-30
Image Number: 177796
Caption: Hello, me. I'm you from the future. I've come back in time to ask you to write in your journal more often. You know all those incredible little moments and all those profound or funny things your little boy says that make you think I'll never forget that? Well guess what? You've forgotten them all. Also, make sure you write about butterflies, panda bears and our democracy. Zzzzz.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-31 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-31 Pub. Date: 2019-01-31
Image Number: 176034
Caption: Dick Fink is such a jerk. He suggested I pitch Aristotle as a celebrity spokesman to Smarty-Smart Genius Brain Academy. Aristotle was wrong so often. If I'd taken Dick Rink's advice, I'd have looked like an ignoramus. Which I'm sure was Dick Fink's plan. So I pitched it my way. They loved it. it went viral. It's a really funny ad campaign about how the desire to correct Aristotle's goofy ideas was the foundation of modern science. Kind of like how your desire to sabotage Dick Fink's sabotage is the foundation of your best ad campaigns.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-25 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-25 Pub. Date: 2019-01-25
Image Number: 175944
Caption: 1984. Momma says she really likes Gary Hart. She says he's got new ideas, but she won't vote for him. Why not? She says the only thing that matters is picking whoever can beat Reagan. And the party seems to think that only Mondale can beat Reagan. I hope she's wrong. If Mondale clobbers Reagan, the next eight years are going to be rotten. Why, Lemont? You can't rhyme as many funny things with Monday as you can with Reagan.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-05 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170151
Caption: 1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot … The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-05 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 163961
Caption: I find it funny how you libs get all triggered every time the president implies Puerto Rican hurricane victims are lazy … or every time he praises white supremacists, or every time he "attacks" the first amendment, or every time he personally insults people. Don't you people know the president is trolling you? He's just pressing your buttons for fun and you fall for it every single time. It's as if none of you have ever debated anyone online. Online, you don't win by being right ... you win by making the other guy seem like he cares more than you do about any given topic. Caring is absolute proof of snowflaky weakness. If what the other guy cares about is common decency, you get extra points. That's the most absurd thing I've -- ... um ... whatever. Too late, snowflake.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-09 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-09 Pub. Date: 2017-09-09
Image Number: 162347
Caption: My son keeps loading 'The Cosby Show' on Hulu. What fo'? Cosby ain't never been funny. He always been boring as @#$% an' I ain't never liked him. Cosby ain't nothin' now, Cosby ain't never been nothin', and I always thought he was creepy. People always try to go back and pretend they were right about someone all along. He ain't never made me laugh. Not even once!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-01 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158603
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. Why does my murder affect you so personally? You didn't even know me. M. Maybe that's why. You were graduating from a great school … you were commissioned in the army … By all accounts, you were funny, you were brilliant, you were going to be someone consequential. Someone who could've made history. I SHOULD have someday known you. But now I never will.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-18 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-18 Pub. Date: 2017-05-18
Image Number: 158079
Caption: I had a weird dream last night. Some blond chick showed up, and then our earth crashed into another earth. Weird, no? That's funny. I dreamt that DC Comics' "Harbinger" showed up and warned me about some huge calamity. She's blond … and when she did that in the comics, all the parallel earths ended up collapsing into one. With my luck, I'll end up like Psycho Pirate at the end of "Crisis on Infinite Earths." ... You were supposed to laugh. Never go full-geek, Lemont.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-03 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139627
Caption: 1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot … The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-01 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-01 Pub. Date: 2015-11-01
Image Number: 134209
Caption: I was supposed to give a speech in Omaha. I spent months perfecting my Powerpoint. Dr. Noodle. When I got there, there was no monitor. No projector. Nothing. But that's ok, that's happened before. I asked if they had an easel and paper so I could draw charts on the fly. They gave me an 8.5"x11" notepad. 800 people in a huge room can't see anything on an 8.5"x11" notepad. I said "That's ok. I've got some funny stories." But when I got on stage, there was no microphone. Stories aren't usually funny when you yell them. Is that when you knocked over the podium, got arrested, and they put you on 72-hour psych hold? No. That's when they served cake, and I thought "I have to compete with cake? Nobody can compete with cake."
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-09 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-09 Pub. Date: 2015-10-09
Image Number: 133462
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a brutha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget another guy she likes. I give one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-01 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-01 Pub. Date: 2015-07-01
Image Number: 129038
Caption: Funny thing: I brought some fries home, put them on my window sill for a minute, and went to the bathroom. When I got back, the window was open and the fries were gone. Say, those fries look awfully familiar. They say if a man go far enough in the world, he eventually run into some 'nother dude who got fries what look just like his own. That's not what they say Clyde. I might consider sharin' some with you when I'm done.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-29 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-29 Pub. Date: 2015-04-29
Image Number: 126132
Caption: My son keeps loading 'The Cosby Show' on Hulu. What fo'? Cosby ain't never been funny. He always been boring as @#$% an' I ain't never liked him. Cosby ain't nothin' now, Cosby ain't never been nothin', and I always thought he was creepy. People always try to go back and pretend they were right about someone all along. He ain't never made me laugh. Not even once!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-12 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-12 Pub. Date: 2015-04-12
Image Number: 124956
Caption: I read the government's using planes to spy on our cellphones. I think it's funny people care about that #$%@. The government been spyin' on me all my life, and didn't nobody care 'bout that. What do you mean? I step out my front door, the police watch from they car. If I walk by a cop, he ask what I got in my jeans. If I walk to 7-Eleven, the police ask where I'm goin'. When I get there, the security guard follow me around the store. Didn't nobody care about "government surveillance" when they thought it only happened to me. Where was Edward Snowman when cops was feelin' me up? Technically, security guards aren't the government.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-04 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-04 Pub. Date: 2015-03-04
Image Number: 123664
Caption: I don’t believe in past lives. But I have memories of things I couldn’t possibly have done. One of my most vivid memories is of sitting along the banks of the Nile River, begging for alms from passing sheep herders. Hmmm … One of MY most vivid memories is of being a wealthy sheep herder, and having all my sheep kick up mud onto a beggar. Just because I thought it'd be funny. Coincidence, I'm sure. But that may explain why I've never like being covered in mud. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-20).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-19 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-19 Pub. Date: 2014-10-19
Image Number: 117068
Caption: I have been an underachiever all my life. I blame my mother. Dr. Noodle. She praised me all the time. She OOZED praise whenever I got an "A", or a "B", or a "C." Whenever I told a joke, funny or not. She gushed praise whenever I had a date, or got any job, or solved any problem, or petted the dog, or made my own sandwich. When I accidentally ran over that moose, she praised me for sending it to "a better place." So you've never had to actually impress her. I once THOUGHT about trying, and she praised me for that.
     
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