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Candorville

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-04 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-04 Pub. Date: 2015-02-04
Image Number: 122419
Caption: 1982. What'll life be like when we're 40? It'll be the 21st century, Susan. We'll have achieved all sorts of things. There won't be any poverty. Little kids won't have to go hungry. Russia won't be such a poopyhead. The Cold War will be over. We'll either all be friends because we're just so tired of being enemies, or we'll all be radioactive mutants. Either way, it'll be really cool. Momma says there won't be any more Vietnams because we learned our lesson ... Whatever that means.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-03 Pub. Date: 2015-02-03
Image Number: 122418
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back your Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-02 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-02 Pub. Date: 2015-02-02
Image Number: 122417
Caption: I need you to hold somethin' for me, bruh. No. But I swear it won't get you into any trouble. No. Ain't you s'posed to help your friends? No. "I need you to hold something for me" don't always end bad. NO.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-21 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-21 Pub. Date: 2015-01-21
Image Number: 121833
Caption: Why people always think I done something bad … just 'cause I ask them to provide me with a alibi? Did it ever once occur to you that I want you to lie on my behalf for a positive reason? Is this for a positive reason? Don't change the subject. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-03).
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-06 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-06 Pub. Date: 2015-01-06
Image Number: 121077
Caption: I have to admit something, Susan. You love me? You want us to be more than friends? I actually like "Star Trek: Enterprise" now. I think I used to hate it because it wasn't what I wanted it to be, but after a decade, I've rewatched it on Netflix, and to my complete surprise ... I've really come to enjoy it for what it is. That's very important to do. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-04 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-04 Pub. Date: 2015-01-04
Image Number: 120435
Caption: What brings you to therapy? I'm really susceptible to other people's moods. Dr. Noodle. If I'm with someone who's happy, I'm happy. If I'm with someone who's sad, I'm sad. If I'm with someone who's talkative, I'm eloquent. If they're not, then I can't think of anything to talk about. My friend's dad died. He cried. Within five minutes, he was having to console me. Well, that's actually not unusual, you see, we're all ... did you have on glasses when you came in here? Why do you ask?
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-31 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-31 Pub. Date: 2014-12-31
Image Number: 120839
Caption: Ok, let's do the math, Big L. Yeh, you loan me about $2 every other day. But that ain't the whole story. Who watch your baby boy for you when you workn'? Who kept you from gettin' butt-whupped all through school? At minimum wage, baby-watchin' fees woulda come to $15,000 by now. 12 years of bootyguard fees woulda run you a quarter million dollars. You sure you really want us to start payin' what we owe each other? Stop making sense!!!
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-30 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-30 Pub. Date: 2014-12-30
Image Number: 120838
Caption: You know China is North Korea's only major ally? Without China propping it up, North Korea's dictatorship would fall tomorrow. If North Korea wants China to keep defending them, then North Korea had better start repaying China the $2 China loans it every day. If you get what I'm saying. I don't get what you sayin'. Hey, could you break me off $2 for some Korean BBQ? I could eat the mess outta some Yangnyeom Tongdak right about now.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-29 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-29 Pub. Date: 2014-12-29
Image Number: 120837
Caption: I have a friend who never pays back the money I loan him. How could I get him to pay me back? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Stop needing to be paid back. Money like women. When you single, they don't want you. But when you taken, they all over you. You know why that be? 'Cause women just like us. They can't resist a challenge. C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. And the only time a man's a challenge is when his woman would whup his #%$ for bein' easy. How do I get my friend to stop changing the subject?
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-20 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-20 Pub. Date: 2014-12-20
Image Number: 120254
Caption: I'm gonna throw up, an' I don’t want you to make a big deal out of it. If you see somethin' that look like your house key, don’t assume I swallowed it so I could make a copy of it later. For all you know, it's just a carrot. I need new friends. Carrots look a lot like house keys. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-06-14)
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-30 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-30 Pub. Date: 2014-10-30
Image Number: 118204
Caption: Why don’t you want me to go with you to the comic convention? Because then I won't have fun. That's mean, Lemont. I'm just being honest. Every time you go with me, you look bored to death. How can I have a good time if I know you're having a miserable time? Real friends are HAPPY to be miserable for each other.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-31 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 115090
Caption: I called my ex-wife and told her I forgive her for leaving me for Guillermo Cabonabong. Wow. After five years? Something told me it was time to forgive. Well, I told you back then, holding onto resentment is only going to hurt you. I'm glad my advice finally sunk in. It's not that, doc. Yesterday, Facebook suggested I add Guillermo Cabonabong as a friend. I quit. When even Facebook says it's time to move on, it's time to move on.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-19 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-19 Pub. Date: 2014-08-19
Image Number: 115240
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. Christopher Reeve. Christopher Reeve? Andy Kaufman. John Belushi. Chris Reeve. My friends. When they died, I had to try to grieve privately for public figures. That was a whole different game. They were so much more than what most people were going to miss them about. So ... bad time to ask you to say "na-nu na-nu"? Never a bad time to ask for words that make you smile, chief.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-14 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-14 Pub. Date: 2014-08-14
Image Number: 114928
Caption: You notice ain't no one talkin' 'bout them kidnapped girls from Africa no more? That's only 'cause there've been no new developments in their story, Clyde. Every day they still ain't home a new development, bruh. Clyde … either I'm rubbing off on you, or you're getting more insightful all on your own. Given the choice between intimacy an' personal growth ... I choose tacos.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-02 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-02 Pub. Date: 2014-08-02
Image Number: 114485
Caption: See this, son? It's the rooftop where your daddy and his friends hang out. What a view. I wanna thee! Well, ok … just don’t tell your mother I held you on my shoulders 30 stories above the street. Ok. Women are strange about that sort of thing. I know, I wathn't bown yethterday.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-28 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-28 Pub. Date: 2014-06-28
Image Number: 112916
Caption: If you had a friend who was always starin' at his girl, whisperin' to her, publicly caressing her, never letting her outta his sight … … an' ignoring erebody but her … Wouldn’t you do somethin' to stop that #*$@? I SAID GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE. Nah-ah, both y'all need a break.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-20 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-20 Pub. Date: 2014-06-20
Image Number: 112733
Caption: Ever thought of getting a dog? Good idea. I've always wished I had a furry thing trying to steal my food. And you know what my brand new couch needs? Something that'll pee on it. You know what'd really make my day complete? Wandering the streets twice a day looking at a butt at the end of a rope. (This cartoon was originally published on 5/11/2012).
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-19 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-19 Pub. Date: 2014-06-19
Image Number: 112732
Caption: Did I just spit on his face while I was talking? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. She just spit on my face while she was talking. Did he notice? Her single drop of spit is sitting on my nose, taunting me. If I just keep talking, he'll forget about it. If I wipe it off, she'll think I think she's disgusting. Maybe he didn't notice. Gaaaa!!! It burns!!! (This cartoon was originally published on 5/10/2012).
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-17 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-17 Pub. Date: 2014-06-17
Image Number: 112730
Caption: Stuff you don't want to hear about. Feigned interest. Stuff you don't want to hear about. Stuff you don't want to hear about. I just remembered … I left my dog on the ledge of a skyscraper, and if I don't leave right now it may plummet to its death … or some other desperate excuse to leave. 8. I can't take a hint. Say, here's more stuff you don't want to hear about. (This cartoon was originally published on 5/8/2012).
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-08 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-08 Pub. Date: 2014-06-08
Image Number: 111681
Caption: Ring! Ring! Ring! You're not gonna answer it? Why would I do that? Ring ring ring ring ring ring. Ring! Ring! Ring! My friends text me. My creditors email me. If anyone calls me at home, odds are it's a telemarketer or a politician. Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! So you don't trust anyone who actually wants to talk to you? Right. That's just shady. Click!
     
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