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Candorville

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301. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-04 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-04 Pub. Date: 2010-03-04
Image Number: 44613
Caption: Choking … get … 911 … Ok, mister! What … (choke) … you … doing?! Sending 911 a "friend request" on Facebook. Now I have to wait for them to "friend" me back, then I can chat with them. Mister?
     
302. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-02 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-02 Pub. Date: 2010-03-02
Image Number: 44611
Caption: I've sent three process servers - three good friends - to deliver a subpoena to Roxanne. They all disappeared without a trace. "If it turns out she's gruesomely murdered your friends, could we use that against her in court? "I hope your friends are ok." I hope your friends are ok. Thank you. That said ...
     
303. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-03 Pub. Date: 2010-02-03
Image Number: 43630
Caption: Y'know, it ain't as easy as you'd think to have a dude declared dead, forge evidence you're his next of kin, and sell all his $%^& on E-Bay. I was only gone a few weeks! I would think you'd be proud of my ingenuity. If you was a real friend.
     
304. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-25 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-25 Pub. Date: 2010-01-25
Image Number: 43361
Caption: Pyramid of the Sun, Tenochtitlan, Mexico … I can't believe what just happened! Poor Saxon! We all make mistakes. One time, a friend gave me a book to return to the library, and I forgot. I just let loose an ancient evil entity that's eventually going to extinguish all intelligent life one earth. Ok, you win. Isn't that some consolation? NOOO well, yes, actually ...
     
305. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-15 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-15 Pub. Date: 2010-01-15
Image Number: 42961
Caption: Oh don't act so insulted. My friend Lemont's engaged to this evil woman who's totally wrong for him. I've tried talking sense into him for years, Dick. Years. I didn't know what else to do. So you told him you were madly in love with ME … … So he'd know what it felt like to have a friend who's involved with the "scum of the Earth." Well, it WAS you who tried to have me deported. That was never proven.
     
306. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-14 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-14 Pub. Date: 2010-01-14
Image Number: 42960
Caption: At the ad agency … I need you to do me a little favor, Dick. Tiny, teensy little favor. And feel free to say no if any way you find this to be unprofessional. Ok. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad, passionate love affair. Ok. What? And I need you to collate these memos.
     
307. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-18 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-18 Pub. Date: 2009-12-18
Image Number: 41949
Caption: … So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What?
     
308. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-09 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-09 Pub. Date: 2009-12-09
Image Number: 41701
Caption: C-Dog impersonates Lemont on Lemont's book tour. @#$% my book. Let's talk about ME. Maybe I AM a sellout. Maybe I DO talk white. Maybe I DO ignore the continuing oppression of my own people while I'm blogging about Presidents an' health care an' other @#$% nobody care about Is there a "but" coming? Maybe I DO fail to loan my best friend C-Dog $2 on occasion ...
     
309. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-07 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-07 Pub. Date: 2009-12-07
Image Number: 41699
Caption: Our guest today is Lemont Brown, author of the book "Katrina's Ghost." Why don't you tell us about yourself, Lemont? Golly! Of course, Sadie! First of all … I really AM that nerd Lemont Brown. I am NOT his friend C-Dog, impersonating him on his book tour in order to hide from the big-muscle brother of a chick I've horribly, horribly wronged. We'll be right back. I was born at an early age ...
     
310. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-01 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-01 Pub. Date: 2009-11-01
Image Number: 40338
Caption: Why am I so unhappy? I'm successful. I have great friends … I should be the happiest woman in the world. I mean, yeah, I'm seeing a guy who's controlling and manipulative, but I should at least be happy he's exciting. And no matter how hard I work, my parents are more proud of my sisters. But I should just be grateful they're still alive. No wonder you're unhappy. You're full of "should." "SHOULD"!!! Oh, then I shouldn't have done that. My bad.
     
311. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-07 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-07 Pub. Date: 2009-09-07
Image Number: 38141
Caption: I need to tell you the ground rules. Anything you say is just between us … Except for two things: if you threaten yourself or someone else, or if you tell me about a child or a senior citizen who's in danger. Sounds reasonable. Or if you say something so juicy I have to share it with my friends. ... So start by telling me why you have no sense of humor. Ok ... it all started with this obnoxious therapist.
     
312. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-27 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-27 Pub. Date: 2009-08-27
Image Number: 37758
Caption: What exactly do you see in Macpink? Dick Fink. Whatever. He knows just what to do. One time at work, he was on the phone with a friend and I was trying to talk to him about something urgent but he ignored me. Just before I left, he stroked my hair. Then he ignored me again. Oh, I see. So what you're saying is HE'S A COMPLETE #$*@%! OH, yeah. AAAAAAAH!!
     
313. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-19 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-07 Pub. Date: 2006-05-19
Image Number: 13762
Caption: Are you only my friend because I laugh at your jokes? Because I think you're smart and I respect you … and because you feel the same about me? Um …no? So you don't think I'm smart and funny? Sometimes you're like a minefield, Lemont. What's that supposed to mean?
     
314. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-01 Pub. Date: 2006-05-03
Image Number: 13628
Caption: Susan, I don't know why I hang around with that no-good thug Clyde. You mean aside from the fact you grew up with him and he's always been there for you when you needed him? Aside from the fact that you're a good influence on him? Aside from the fact you can't improve society by just ignoring people like Clyde? Yeah, aside from that. Dios mio.
     
315. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-21 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-21 Pub. Date: 2009-04-21
Image Number: 31768
Caption: It makes me really happy to know you're always there for me, Lemont. What? I said you're always there for me, so that makes-- You're really breaking up. What? IT MAKES ME HAPPY THAT… Man, reception stinks here. What did you say? I SAID YOU MAKE ME @#$% HAPPY!
     
316. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-18 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-18 Pub. Date: 2009-04-18
Image Number: 31628
Caption: Ok, since you insist, I'll tell you all about it. I demanded a promotion and old man Fitzhugh totally blew me off! It was the most awful thing that could possibly happen! I don't see how "Susan, I fell off a mountain" is the same as insisting you tell me about your day. I read between the lines.
     
317. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-18 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-18 Pub. Date: 2009-03-18
Image Number: 30975
Caption: I know what you and Roxanne are up to behind my back, Saxon. It's obvious. You grew up together. I see how you look at each other. You think you're my son's real father. And now to break us up, you're telling me Roxanne's an evil vampire who had your kid to fulfill an ancient prophecy that'll make her ruler of the world. It's the oldest trick in the book.
     
318. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-16 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-16 Pub. Date: 2009-02-16
Image Number: 30185
Caption: I'm telling you, your fiancée and her dad…They're vampires! Yeah, I get it, they're bossy. No! Look, when Obama limited CEO pay to $500k at bailed-out companies…Roxanne's dad got mad. Went around the office biting everyone's head off. Yeah, he can yell. "That reminds me of my first day as the paper's White House correspondent..." Press. It was a bloodbath! Y'mind? You're interrupting a perfectly good flashback.
     
319. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-09 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-09 Pub. Date: 2009-02-09
Image Number: 29985
Caption: All RIGHT. Camping with my crazy fiancée's dad's personal assistant whom I barely know. …Good times. So, tell me again why we're camping in a field of garlic? No reason. Really. All right… Nobody else comes here. Puts me at ease to know there's no one else around for miles. That makes one of us. Roxanne ever tell you 'bout my knife collection?
     
320. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-30 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-30 Pub. Date: 2009-01-30
Image Number: 29704
Caption: "Hey Lemont, wanna go camping?" who are y… Oh, I remember you. You're Saxon Kenchu. You work for my fiancée's dad. Say, this wouldn't be my fiancée's insulting attempt to replace my friend's with someone like you who she finds acceptable, would it? "No (smile)." Ok, I'll go get my hat.
     
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