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Candorville

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241. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-11 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 76814
Caption: I notice you ain't bought my new cd yet. I thought you was supposed to be my friend, Big L. Dang. You know what, Clyde? You're absolutely right. I mean, that'd be just as bad as if, hypothetically speaking, I had written five books over the last few years ... including a new on called "Run! Vampires, Werewolves, the One That Got Away; and Other Demons ... " And you didn't buy any of them. Hypothetically speaking. Glad you agree. I accept cash, cash or cash. Thug 4 life. Dawn. By Butler.
     
242. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-24 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-24 Pub. Date: 2012-02-24
Image Number: 76741
Caption: Don't you wish you could've gone out on top? Don't you wish you could've had a huge comeback before the end? My family and friends never stopped surrounding me with love. I'd say that means I did go out on top. And I'm about to have the biggest comeback there is. I was thinking more like something I could download on my iPod.
     
243. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-03 Pub. Date: 2012-02-03
Image Number: 75828
Caption: I emailed you a job from Craigslist last week, but you didn’t say anything. I haven't checked that email address since I lost my job, Susan. I've been applying for everywhere since then, with a new address. I don’t want to get my hopes up every time I get new mail ... ... Only to find out it's just you writing to me, or some crud like that. No offense. So I should write to you at foot-in-mouth@jackass.gov?
     
244. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-20 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-20 Pub. Date: 2012-01-20
Image Number: 44141
Caption: If you bear with me, I'll tell you where I buried your … Pardon me … couldn't help but overhear … "Bear with me" makes no sense. You don't have to bear anything. You're the one who's inflicting unnecessary exposition on your friend while you make her waste time waiting for you to get to the point. Since YOU are not bearing anything, it'd be more accurate to say "please bear me." I can't take this. Take what? "This" could mean anything. (Originall published on 2010-02-20.)
     
245. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-04 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-04 Pub. Date: 2012-01-04
Image Number: 74805
Caption: I don't usually give this out for free, but we boys so I'ma help you out, cuz. Thanks, Clyde. Thank God for Culture Clash. Doctor Dogg's How to Live Large when you a broke #$% fool with no job! Honk! I'ma be workin' on a app, next. I've hit rock bottom. Thug 4 Life.
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-03 Pub. Date: 2012-01-03
Image Number: 74804
Caption: How is it I'm broke? I had three months of savings when I lost my job. It's only been two weeks. I know exactly why you broke, Big L. Well tell me, please. Ok. But first loan me $2. Time.
     
247. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-02 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-02 Pub. Date: 2012-01-02
Image Number: 74803
Caption: Sup, Playa?* *How are you coping with being a single father who just lost his job? What's up, Clyde?* *I have to watch him all the time, and when I get a couple hours free I'm too tired to go look for work. Cough cough?* *Let's get a burrito. It'll cheer you up. Yawn* **Nah, gotta save my last $20 to feed Lionel.
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-29 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-29 Pub. Date: 2011-12-29
Image Number: 74742
Caption: Why you don't get on unemployment? No. Pretend you paralyzed and get on disability? No. Turn to a sordid life of crime? NO. Listen, I can't help you if you don't want to be helped. Good talk, Clyde. Thug 4 life.
     
249. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-22 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-22 Pub. Date: 2011-12-22
Image Number: 74336
Caption: Be honest, Lemont … Why aren't you getting a tree of gifts or dressing up like Santa for your little boy? Christmas shouldn’t be about material things. 'Cause I lost my job and can't afford it. Lemont, can I get Lionel a tree? I mean, I haven't had time to get him a gift, so it'd really help me out. Let me help you. No, thanks. Yes, please!
     
250. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-26 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-26 Pub. Date: 2011-11-26
Image Number: 73212
Caption: Clyde! Thank God I reached you. I'm supposed to pick up Lionel today, but the paper just sent me to report on a war zone. I tried calling Roxanne to tell her I'd pick him up next week, but she's not answering. She's probably already outside with Lionel waiting for me. You're my best friend in the world, I know I can count on you: I need you to go to my apartment, put on my hat and coat, then go to Roxanne's house, pretend to be me, and pick up Lionel. You missed me, fool! At the sound of the beep, go 'head an' leave a message. Beep. I said beeeep.
     
251. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-23 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-23 Pub. Date: 2011-11-23
Image Number: 73209
Caption: Why you ain't told me you was lookin' for a playpen? I coulda hooked you up. You sell playpens? 'Course I do. $5, or 2-for-8, 3-for-10. I also sell Newsweek, Jet, Ebony, Popular Mechanic … What? What?
     
252. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-22 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-22 Pub. Date: 2011-11-22
Image Number: 73208
Caption: Where you been, Big L? Well … Roxanne said … … "You may have won custody of Lionel, but you didn’t win custody of his stuff." So I was out buying a crib, a playpen, all sorts of things. I'm picking up Lionel after work today. Cool. What he do for a living? What? What?
     
253. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-16 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-16 Pub. Date: 2011-11-16
Image Number: 72984
Caption: facebook. Messages. From SASHA MITCHELL. Lemont, I don’t want to talk about Webster. Can we talk about something else? You don’t want to talk about escaping the monster you're married to, who isolates you from your friends and controls every waking moment of your life? Tap tap tap ta- What do you propose we talk about, the weather? Tap tap t- ta- t- DELETE DELETE DELETE. OK. Tap tap ta- :-)
     
254. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-15 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-15 Pub. Date: 2011-11-15
Image Number: 72983
Caption: BTW, where are you, Sasha? Tap tap tap tap tap t- In bed, typing on my iPhone. Webster's snoring. Your husband? But … … the last time we chatted, you said you were about to leave him. Tap tap tap t- I had second thoughts. Maybe it's not so bad. You said you'd packed a dufflebag with your green card, license, $3k in cash and the address of a safe house ... ... after her told you to stop talking to your friends and threatened to fire any of his male employees who so much as smiled at you. Maybe it was just his way of saying "I love you." It was his way of saying "I OWN YOU!" Tap tap t- tap ta- t-
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-29 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-29 Pub. Date: 2011-10-29
Image Number: 67159
Caption: The judge gave you full custody of Lionel?! Yeah! I won! Dios mio, Lemont! I'm so happy for you! I've never won anything in my whole life!!! Of course you have! You have friends who love you, you do what you like to do for a living, and you've got your health. And apparently you don't ever go hungry. Quit while I'm ahead!
     
256. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-03 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-03 Pub. Date: 2011-10-03
Image Number: 66211
Caption: I'm giving the closing argument tonight in Lemont Brown's custody hearing. Billy Meeks, Kid Lawyer. He's got no chance. I think instead of showing up, I'll get a "stomache," fake my own death, and move to Disneyland to start a new life. Um ... Lemont? Billy here. Disregard that text, it was meant for my friend Clem, and hat totally nothing at all to do with you.
     
258. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-23 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-23 Pub. Date: 2011-09-23
Image Number: 65729
Caption: So Sasha Mitchell's your best friend, now? I can tell her things I can't tell anyone. Nobody's ever made me feel like that before. Lemont, a "best friend" is someone who's there for you in real life, not on Facebook. Someone who loves you in person, despite all your dorkiness, self-sabotaging, obliviousness, poor financial management and endless nitpicking. Generally speaking, I mean. That's not what dictionary-dot-com says.
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-22 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-22 Pub. Date: 2011-09-22
Image Number: 65728
Caption: Why would Sasha tell you - over Facebook - that her husband's abusive? He doesn't let her have any close friends. I think I'm all she's got, Susan. I've thought about Sasha for half my life. I thought I'd never hear from her again. Not I find out this? What'm I supposed to do, tell her "good luck with that" and turn my back on her? Of course not. Yes!!!
     
260. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-21 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-21 Pub. Date: 2011-09-21
Image Number: 65727
Caption: Look, Lemont, I don't know what's going on between Sasha and Webster, and neither do you. You haven't even seen her in sixteen years. But she's married, to a guy who may be abusive. I know you want to be a friend, but this is a warning signal, like a big yellow traffic light. And you know what yellow traffic lights mean. Prepare to stop. Floor it and cross your fingers.
     
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