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Candorville

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221. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-21 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-21 Pub. Date: 2012-09-21
Image Number: 87548
Caption: Death is just change, Clyde, and w. Can I borrow two dollars. Thug 4 Life. Do you mind? I was in the middle of a stirring monologue about death and change and fear of death and change! When you mentioned change, it reminded me I'm out of it. I'll loan you the $2 if you let me at least get to the part where I tie it all in to Fox News. $2.50. Thug 4 Life. (Originally published on 10/01/10).
     
222. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-09 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-09 Pub. Date: 2012-09-09
Image Number: 86799
Caption: "Big Bang Theory" was awesome last night. What's "Big Bang Theory"? Sitcom on CBS. Oh, I don’t watch CBS. You seen "Wilfred" last night on FX? Never heard of it. Don’t really watch FX. Oh. You catch "The Tudors" on NetFlix? Man, that show's tight. Thug 4 Life. I don't have NetFlix. Oh. You seen "Wipeout" on Hulu? I don't have Hulu. " Thug 4 Life. "Game of Thrones" on HBO? I only got Showtime. Thug 4 Life. I guess there's nothing to talk about. What channel that on?
     
223. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-08 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-08 Pub. Date: 2012-09-08
Image Number: 87124
Caption: You like oatmeal? Thug 4 Life. Sometimes. Thank God for Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. But sometimes that fool be getting' on my nerves to the point where I call him by his real name, "Clarence." He hate that. Thank God for Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. What? What? Thank God for Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life.
     
224. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-07 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-07 Pub. Date: 2012-09-07
Image Number: 87123
Caption: What did you say, Susan? I said I've been advertising your blog for the last year. You did that for me? I did it after work. Nights, weekends, holidays … Wow. So that's why you missed my Groundhog Day party.
     
225. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-06 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-06 Pub. Date: 2012-09-06
Image Number: 87122
Caption: Seriously? When you left the paper, your blog had 20,000 daily visitors … … But it grew to 800,000 a day after just a year? … Almost as if your best friend who runs an ad agency had crafted a viral ad campaign for your blog in her spare time? What as that? I was watching that cloud over there. Never mind.
     
226. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-25 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-25 Pub. Date: 2012-08-25
Image Number: 86187
Caption: You think there a afterlife, Big L? Well, everything in the universe - everything including life - is made of energy. And energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Is you still talking? Everything except patience.
     
227. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-22 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-22 Pub. Date: 2012-08-22
Image Number: 86184
Caption: What's wrong? Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Thug 4 Life. (A) You're frowning. (B) You're avoiding eye contact. (C) You just cussed out a pigeon. Something's wrong, you can tell me Clyde. I promise not to tell anyone you had an emotion. How I know I can trust you? Thug 4 Life.
     
228. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-18 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-18 Pub. Date: 2012-08-18
Image Number: 86022
Caption: What do you want to eat? Burgers? I had that yesterday. Tacos. I had that two days ago. Ribs. Are you just overruling me for fun? What movie do you wanna see?
     
229. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-13 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-13 Pub. Date: 2012-08-13
Image Number: 86017
Caption: The internet says we need tor work on our relationship. It says I need to be better to you. And it says you need to pay more attention to my needs. F'rinstance, I need to meet your friends. There go that noise again. Thug 4 Life.
     
230. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-11 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-11 Pub. Date: 2012-08-11
Image Number: 85364
Caption: What do you love most. Toast. I know what you gonna say, Big L … "How can you be sure you love the toast, an' not the bitter on the toast. Well … Some things you just know. I thought maybe you'd say "my friends." Thug 4 Life. Why would I love your friends? You got awful taste in friends. Good talk, Clyde. Thug 4 Life.
     
231. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-05 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-05 Pub. Date: 2012-08-05
Image Number: 84533
Caption: Something smells funny. Your mom smells funny. Watch it. Watch your MOM. That's not funny. Your mom's not funny. You cant keep saying "your mom" about everything. That's annoying. You need to grow up, Clyde, or before you know it nobody's gonna want to talk to you. I think your stove has a gas leak. Your MOM has a- Never mind. Let's just blow up. Maybe that'll teach you. Thank God for Culture Clash. Thug 4.
     
232. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-17 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-17 Pub. Date: 2012-06-17
Image Number: 81512
Caption: Hi, I answered the phone by accident. Please hang up and call back. Hi … Um … What? I like to DVR my calls. You like to WHAT? I like to check my voicemail at my leisure … … And only respond once I've had time to think about it. In real-time conversations, it's hard to concoct plausible excuses to get out of whatever the caller wants me to do. Seriously? Too much pressure. Also, without planning my response, the conversation can be inefficient and boring. This conversation has been a total waste of time, Lamont. SEE?
     
233. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-14 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-14 Pub. Date: 2012-06-14
Image Number: 81851
Caption: I'm gonna throw up, an' I don’t want you to make a big deal out of it. If you see somethin' that look like your house key, don’t assume I swallowed it so I could make a copy of it later. For all you know, it's just a carrot. I need new friends. Carrots look a lot like house keys.
     
234. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-06 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-06 Pub. Date: 2012-06-06
Image Number: 81659
Caption: If I ask you to pick up Lionel from day care while I am at the job agency … Time. … Will that end in disaster? Time. How could you ask that? We best friends. Sorry, Clyde. I forgive you. … Who's Lionel? Time.
     
235. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-27 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-27 Pub. Date: 2012-05-27
Image Number: 80733
Caption: Your only problem, big L, is you think you got a problem. It's like the Buddhists be sayin' … The reality we think we experience is actually just a picture of reality we construct with out mind. You goin' die soon? Uh-uh, "soon" don’t exist. The future just a picture. You in jail? No you ain't. Those bars you see is just a picture in your mind. Thug 4 Life. You can turn prison bars into a garden, just by running Photoshop on them in your head. Thug 4 Life. Whatever. I need those $250 you owe me. Your "need" to pay your rent is just a picture in your head. Ain't you listening? Thug 4 Life.
     
236. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-13 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-13 Pub. Date: 2012-05-13
Image Number: 79902
Caption: RING! RING! RING! You're not gonna answer it? Why would I do that? RING RING RING RING RING RING RING. My friends text me. My creditors email me. RING! RING! RING! If anyone calls me at home, odds are it's a telemarketer or a politician. RING! RING! R - RING! RING! RING! So you don't trust anyone who actually wants to talk to you. Right. That's just shady. CLICK!
     
237. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-11 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-11 Pub. Date: 2012-05-11
Image Number: 80535
Caption: Ever thought of getting a dog? Good idea. I've always wished I had a furry thing trying to steal my food. And you know what my brand new couch needs? Something that'll pee on it. You know what'd really make my day complete? Wandering the streets twice a day looking at a butt at the end of a rope.
     
238. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-10 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-10 Pub. Date: 2012-05-10
Image Number: 80534
Caption: Did I just spit on his face while I was talking? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. She just spit on my face while she was talking. Did he notice? Her single drop of spit is sitting on my nose, taunting me. If I just keep talking, he'll forget about it. If I wipe it off, she'll think I think she's disgusting. Maybe he didn't notice. Gaaaa!!! It burns!!!
     
239. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-08 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-08 Pub. Date: 2012-05-08
Image Number: 80532
Caption: Stuff you don't want to hear about. Feigned interest. Stuff you don't want to hear about. Stuff you don't want to hear about. I just remembered … I left my dog on the ledge of a skyscraper, and if I don't leave right now it may plummet to its death … or some other desperate excuse to leave. 8. I can't take a hint. Say, here's more stuff you don't want to hear about.
     
240. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-18 friend 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-18 Pub. Date: 2012-04-18
Image Number: 79549
Caption: Did you read my new article about how Facebook's news stream is teaching us to ignore what our friends say? I saw the link to it on Facebook this morning. I liked it. You read it? Um … I "liked" it. @*$% Facebook culture. I'm almost sure I'll read it later.
     
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