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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (27 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-06 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-06 Pub. Date: 2019-09-06
Image Number: 179298
Caption: I had a horrible day, bruh. 'Member how you gave a speech at a high school the other day? 'Member how you threw up on them kids? I been tryna sell bootleg DVDs of it the past couple of days. Ain't nobody buyin'. E'ry last one of them kids had recorded it an' already posted it to Instagram ... for free! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Internet be lettin' amateurs run us professionals out of business.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-24 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-24 Pub. Date: 2019-01-24
Image Number: 175943
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I don't know what's happened to journalism? All the mainstream journalists went after me on Twitter. I wrote and article dissecting the voting records and the past actions of the people who CNN tells us are the Democratic frontrunners for the 2020 presidential nomination. How could you, Lemont! Now's not the time for that sort of thing. They accused me of being divisive ... and Russian.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-13 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-13 Pub. Date: 2018-12-13
Image Number: 175378
Caption: Come on … You can't blame me for losing the Nat King Cole lawsuit. You're the one who sampled his voice without permission for your album. You're the on who begged me to pretend I was a voice actor you'd hired to impersonate Nat King Cole. It wasn't my idea! I tried to lip sync to that testimony you recorded for me using his voice. I really tried! When you lip sync, ain't no sound s'posed to come out your mouth, fool. You ain't s'posed to harmonize with the recording. I got nervous.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-18 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 167988
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-26 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-02 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-02 Pub. Date: 2016-12-02
Image Number: 151554
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I'm livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking "Why have you come to therapy." Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-09 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143021
Caption: Do you remember the very first time YOU got mad at someone? I don’t. It's one of those millions of "firsts" that are lost to time. Do you realize that everyone carrying around iPhones and Androids at all times has changed that, for the first time in human history? Whatever. I still don't think your son will ever appreciate your keeping a video of you accidentally dropping him in the toilet. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-24).
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-10 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-10 Pub. Date: 2016-02-10
Image Number: 138873
Caption: Y'know what the thing be about Youtube, Big L? If you upload secret video you took of the worst double date in history, you can get 7 million views in just a few hours. But if you drop a music video you been workin' on for weeks, you get just a fraction of that. You recorded me on my date?! You uploaded it to Youtube?! We talkin' about my music video now. You've ruined my life, Clyde. Erethang ain't always about you, bruh.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-14 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-14 Pub. Date: 2015-05-14
Image Number: 126619
Caption: You anti-unarmed-man-getting-beaten-or-killed-ists. You always pick the wrong hero for your cause. Yeah, the state's attorney says he shouldn't have been arrested … this time. And he had a long history of being arrested! He's been arrested 15 or so times! That changes everything! Was he convicted 15 or so times? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-16 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-16 Pub. Date: 2015-03-16
Image Number: 124244
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. Hillary Clinton says the private server she stored her work email on was totally secure because it was set up for President Clinton. Because servers set up years earlier were obviously still secure in 2009. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-06 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-06 Pub. Date: 2014-04-06
Image Number: 109064
Caption: You know why the conservatives in the senate killed President Obama's "Debo Adegbile" nomination, right? Lennox. Flatbush. Rollo's Cuts. They said it was 'cause Adegbile represented a "cop-killer" in court. Other people say it's because he's got a record of fighting those voter ID laws, an' Republicans don't want someone in the Justice Department who's good at fighting their voter ID laws. But they're all wrong. You wanna know the REAL reason they killed that nomination? ... Because they could. That still doesn't explain why you shaved an ad for your shop onto the back of my head.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-24 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-24 Pub. Date: 2014-02-24
Image Number: 107981
Caption: Do you remember the very first time YOU got mad at someone? I don’t. It's one of those millions of "firsts" that are lost to time. Do you realize that everyone carrying around iPhones and Androids at all times has changed that, for the first time in human history? Whatever. I still don't think your son will ever appreciate your keeping a video of you accidentally dropping him in the toilet.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-05 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-05 Pub. Date: 2013-12-05
Image Number: 104627
Caption: Here's the thing, C-Dog … Yeah, your last album sold almost 15,000 copies … … And yeah, we supposed to give you 50% of the profits … … But there was no profit, 'cause our expenses were more than the proceeds. … For instance, we had to pay a lawyer $50k. Thug 4 Life. What for? To make it look like your album didn't earn a profit.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-03 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-03 Pub. Date: 2011-06-03
Image Number: 61588
Caption: Urethra! What? You said the other day your iPhone's been tracking your movemets for years. We can use that to prove you've been with Roxanne and Lionel! … Oh, wait. You said all your media libraries were suspiciously erased. I guess that would include the location data the iPhoen would've backed up to iTunes. You mean "eureka"? What'd I say?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-21 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-21 Pub. Date: 2011-02-21
Image Number: 57542
Caption: Will the attorney for the plaintiff please state your case? Your Excellency, my client, Mr. Brown, requests - nay, DEMANDS - joint custody of his son Lionel. We will demonstrate that he is financially and emotionally prepared to care for his child. He has no history of violence or abuse. And he has absolutely no convictions. Whisper whisper whisper. No CRIMINAL convictions. ... What did I say?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-21 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-21 Pub. Date: 2010-10-21
Image Number: 53248
Caption: So what if that fine-*%@ girl you knew back in college just Facebooked you. Leave that spit alone, son! Sixteen year changes people. She could have six kids, a controlling, Samurai husband and a criminal record. I just don't wanna see you get hurt, no matter how ridiculously hot that girl is. For the last time, I'm not giving you her e-mail address. but you need a brutha to run recon!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-27 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-27 Pub. Date: 2010-05-27
Image Number: 47784
Caption: Senator Murkowski, why are you blocking Congress' attempt to increase Behemoth Oil's financial liability for this catastrophic spill? The law already permits unlimited damages. Anyone affected by the spill can sue Behemoth … … go up against Behemoth's star team of lawyers for the next twenty years, run out of money to keep going, and eventually grow old and die before they can recover a penny. That last part was off the record. You kinda have to call that beforehand.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-28 for the record 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-28 Pub. Date: 2008-11-28
Image Number: 28301
Caption: How was your day, Clyde? Oh, you know, the usual. Got rich, gave money to all my new friends, bought a big mansion, twelve killer dogs, a diamond car, and plasma TVs for all my dogs… …ran outta cash, plasmas, car an' dogs got repo'd, bank took the house, and friends all disappeared. You? Forgot to record "Matlock." Sorry to hear that.
     
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