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Candorville

Comics about flowers and flowering.

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Result page:     (19 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-03 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-03 Pub. Date: 2019-11-03
Image Number: 180101
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. That's a good choice, Uncle Mort. Of course you'd say that!!! You're in the pocket of the chamomile industry! You feed at the chamomile trough!!! Here. Delicious. Thanks. I'm glad you're finally taking the doc's advice and laying off the caffeine. That's what you think! I just swallowed seven caffeine tablets with it!!!! Forget the doctors! Big chamomile is in cahoots with big medical insurzzzzzzzz. Addiction is an ugly thing.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-31 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-31 Pub. Date: 2018-08-31
Image Number: 173792
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey? Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and a 1/2 minutes before falling asleep.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-01 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-01 Pub. Date: 2018-08-01
Image Number: 173242
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The nose said This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia. That florist is the worst.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-04 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-04 Pub. Date: 2017-09-04
Image Number: 162342
Caption: Hello, momma. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I let myself in, and I'm standing right behind you with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, all for you … unless I got stuck in traffic, in which case forget you heard this. Beep.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-28 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-28 Pub. Date: 2017-06-28
Image Number: 159710
Caption: Lemont's in Russia … President Putin asked that I answer all your journalist questions on his behalf. Get you to see we are not the boogeyman the American press has made us to be. If that fails, I am to poisoning you with rare gelsemium elefans death flower. Joking, joking, why you cannot take joke? Oh. Ok, then. Polonium-210 or throwing from balcony much more effective.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-21 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157016
Caption: Y'know, this world could be a paradise. For the amount of money the world spends on war … We could pay people to leave the rainforests alone. We could feed everyone. We could give everyone health care and an education. We could plant gardens everywhere. The big flower industry would hire armed goons to protect the roses.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-06 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2016-07-06
Image Number: 145504
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning, I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The note said "This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia." That florist is the worst.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-05 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-05 Pub. Date: 2016-04-05
Image Number: 141502
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey. Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and ½ minutes before falling asleep.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-27 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-27 Pub. Date: 2013-09-27
Image Number: 101946
Caption: Hello, momma. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I let myself in, and I'm standing right behind you with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, all for you. … Unless I got stuck in traffic, in which case forget you heard this. BEEP.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-27 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-27 Pub. Date: 2011-08-27
Image Number: 64821
Caption: We started out livin' in nature. Trees an' grass an' grass an' flowers an' whatnot. Then we built huts an' then houses. We put up walls an' doors an' locks to shut nature out. An' then we buy potted plants and aquariums, almost as if we want some of that nature back but only if it's got its own walls around it. Whatever. I said, stop breaking into my house!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-06 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-06 Pub. Date: 2011-08-06
Image Number: 63976
Caption: Dear Momma, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out buying you roses for every little holiday, special occasion, and cold you've ever had in my whole entire life that I neglected to commemorate. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I get over all these bee stings. Beep.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-13 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-13 Pub. Date: 2009-08-13
Image Number: 37215
Caption: But why, Susan? Back up, repeat what you just said. I grabbed my fake flower and my garlic necklace and jumped out the window? Further back. I think she started to figure out I was recording our conversation to get dirt to use against her in our custody battle? Further back. It was risky since Roxanne is a vampire? There. THAT'S why I'm having you committed.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-12 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-12 Pub. Date: 2009-08-12
Image Number: 37214
Caption: Yes, Roxanne, I want us to get married right away. I really love you. Roxanne, whisper sweet nothings to me. Say you love me. I love you. Say you crave me. I crave you. Say you're an awful mother and Lionel would be better off in my custody. I'm an ... Is that a tape recorder in your pocket? Whisper into the flower, and enunciate.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-19 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-19 Pub. Date: 2009-05-19
Image Number: 33641
Caption: Hi Momma. …I know I didn't call you on Mother's Day last week. Aren't you proud. …Because you always told me not to fall for hustlers. And Mother's Day's nothing but one big hustle. There's only one PURE holiday, Momma. Only one holiday that isn't some scheme to waste money on cards and flowers. I'll call you on Groundhog Day. ...Hello?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-16 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-16 Pub. Date: 2006-06-16
Image Number: 13989
Caption: What a cult little birdy. Whatchoo want, @#$%? What kind of birdy are you, little guy? I know you ain't steppin' to me without some popcorn or cornnuts in yo' hand, son. Here birdy, birdy, birdy. Y'see this here daisy? You want this daisy, punk? You gots ta go through me. What happened to you, Lemont? Do you own a cat?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-15 flower 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-18 Pub. Date: 2006-01-15
Image Number: 12761
Caption: Lemont interviews someone at the White House for his latest blog entry. Plan A was to have grateful Iraqis greet us with flowers and candy. That didn't exactly go as we'd anticipated. But not to worry, we had a Plan B. Plan B was to torture Iraqi prisoners and scapegoat a few troops while creating conditions that would allow the growth of a violent insurgency bent on kicking us out of Iraq plunging the country into a grotesque bloody civil war that threatens to destroy everything our troops valiantly fought for. I liked it better when they lied ot me. Plan B is going quite well.
     
Result page:     (19 images)