| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-19 |
| Image Number: |
179093 |
| Caption: |
Hi Mrs. Cass. It's Lemont Brown, your pupil from Baldwin kindergarten class of 1980. I'm writing my memoir, and I'm hoping you can check your records and confirm that I'm remembering an incident from back then correctly. That time I led the class in a rebellion against naptime ... Do your files show that I shouted You have nothing to lose but your blankies? Oh, you don't? ... So I guess you were lying when you said it would go down on my permanent record ... Yes ma'am, I have been waiting 40 years to do that.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-08-19) |
Image #179093 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-04-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-04-22 |
| Image Number: |
177323 |
| Caption: |
My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-04-22) |
Image #177323 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-10-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-16 |
| Image Number: |
174492 |
| Caption: |
Rudy Park, my college roommate, sent me an evite to the grand opening of his new café. The zoning board declined to comment. So I filed a Freedom of Information Act request. Turns out the building was rezoned in the dead of night to permit a café, just hours after a huge payment from sources unknown landed in the zoning commissioner's 3-year-old son's savings account. Should I write the expose before I give Rudy a cafe-warming gift ... or after? Remind me never to send you and evite. What's the etiquette?
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2018-10-16) |
Image #174492 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-01-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-01-28 |
| Image Number: |
167088 |
| Caption: |
Hi, I just got a notice that I owe $30k t the city in past freelance taxes. That's right. Because you didn't file as a business between 2007 and 2013. I wasn't a business. I was a reporter for a newspaper. They paid you with a 1099 instead of W-2. That makes you a business. They paid me with a 1099 so they could get away with not giving me benefits, and so they wouldn't have to give me paid time off! That doesn't mean I was running a business! Yes it does. I see you earned less than $100k per year. You wouldn't owe us anything if you filed for an exemption during the years you owed those taxes. You never told me this tax even existed! I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 for a tax I didn't owe just because you never told me I didn't owe it! You're right, sir. If you include the penalties, you're actually gonna pay us $38,000. You're going to make me become a Republican! You know that, right?! There's no special exemption for Republicans.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2018-01-28) |
Image #167088 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-04-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-04-17 |
| Image Number: |
157012 |
| Caption: |
My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2017-04-17) |
Image #157012 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-01-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-01-09 |
| Image Number: |
153086 |
| Caption: |
Taxville Tax Preparation. Put us down as "married, filing miserable."
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2017-01-09) |
Image #153086 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-04-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-04-30 |
| Image Number: |
142414 |
| Caption: |
Why do I keep a journal of my son's firsts? Because they're precious moments. Why they "precious"? … Because they happen once and then they're gone forever, living only in a parent's memories. Is they still precious if they ALSO live on in your hard drive, the NSA files and Edward Snowman's briefcase? First time I've ever heard Clyde be so deep. Yeah. I wish I'd recorded that. You ain't never learnin'. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-02). |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2016-04-30) |
Image #142414 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-03-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-03-19 |
| Image Number: |
140514 |
| Caption: |
Whachooneed, whachooneed … I got a toothbrush, a bus pass, a gas card, an alternative to Obamacare … Wait … back up. What kind of toothbrush? … Because my toothbrush recently went missing. I wrote my name on it. Lemme see the handle. Can't. It's the kind that come with a filed-off handle. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2016-03-19) |
Image #140514 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-06-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-06-10 |
| Image Number: |
128069 |
| Caption: |
What do you think of The X-Files coming back, Clyde? You gonna watch it? Nah, bruh, there was a time an' place for that spit, an' this ain't it no more. Back then, trenchcoats was cool. That was before Columbine. Back then, secret government conspiracies was just fiction. That was before Edward Snowman. Back then, you had a high-top fade and parachute pants. Now you ain't got no hair an' you make regular pants look like parachute pants. I've only gained 30 pounds! |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2015-06-10) |
Image #128069 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-02-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-02-12 |
| Image Number: |
122692 |
| Caption: |
You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed (censored) I can't bewieve I owe five (censored) thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when he's doing his taxes? You're grounded. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2015-02-12) |
Image #122692 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-01-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-01-12 |
| Image Number: |
121384 |
| Caption: |
Taxville Tax Preparation. Put us down as "married, filing miserable." |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2015-01-12) |
Image #121384 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-09-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-09-23 |
| Image Number: |
116762 |
| Caption: |
My Mac died on me again, so I thought I'd finally, after all these years, try a PC. You use a PC at work, right? Would you know how to fix a glitch? Maybe. What sort of glitch? Every time I tried installing an FTP program, it would also install an "optimizer," a "vacation planner" and a video of a cat boxing with a gerbil. You wanna know how to uninstall the programs you didn't want? I wanna know how to uninstall the angry-dent my fist put in the keyboard. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2014-09-23) |
Image #116762 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-04-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-04-02 |
| Image Number: |
109563 |
| Caption: |
Why do I keep a journal of my son's firsts? Because they're precious moments. Why they "precious"? … Because they happen once and then they're gone forever, living only in a parent's memories. Is they still precious if they ALSO live on in your hard drive, the NSA files and Edward Snowman's briefcase? First time I've ever heard Clyde be so deep. Yeah. I wish I'd recorded that. You ain't never learnin'. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2014-04-02) |
Image #109563 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-03-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-03-22 |
| Image Number: |
108868 |
| Caption: |
Whachooneed, whachooneed … I got a toothbrush, a bus pass, a gas card, an alternative to Obamacare … Wait … back up. What kind of toothbrush? … Because my toothbrush recently went missing. I wrote my name on the handle. Lemme see the handle. Can't. it the kind that come with a filed-off handle. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2014-03-22) |
Image #108868 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-08-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-08-01 |
| Image Number: |
99763 |
| Caption: |
Pie Rett Collection Agency. Some guy named Lester called me yesterday from your office and said I owe ATNT $158. When I told him I've never used ATNT and won't pay him a dime, Lester ended up insulting me. I hung up on him. I'm sorry. So you're calling to file a complaint? I'm calling 'cause I just thought of a good comeback. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2013-08-01) |
Image #99763 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-03-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-03-04 |
| Image Number: |
94130 |
| Caption: |
Turns out my computer died because of a massive power surge in the building. It also fried my external hard drives, so I lost all my stuff. I wasn't worried … I'd also been backing up online at "back-that-thang-up-dot-com." This morning I got an email saying their servers were destroyed by a freak elephant rampage. They're based in Africa? Seattle. Why do you ask? |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2013-03-04) |
Image #94130 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-10-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-10-09 |
| Image Number: |
88326 |
| Caption: |
TAXVILLE TAX PREPARATION. Yes, it IS too late to file for and extension on your 2003 taxes. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2012-10-09) |
Image #88326 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-08-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-08-12 |
| Image Number: |
84692 |
| Caption: |
Case #17700503-F Lionel Brown. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 2:17 am - Refuses to stop bouncing even after father warns him this will do down on his permanent record. Almost potty trained. Muppet. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2012-08-12) |
Image #84692 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-02-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-02-19 |
| Image Number: |
76093 |
| Caption: |
Case #17700503-E: Clyde "C-Dog" Dogg. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 2:17 - Called "Big L" w/ paranoid theory about gv't spying being "worse than ever." Thug 4 Life. Watched "Gilligan's Island". |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2012-02-19) |
Image #76093 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-12-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-12-30 |
| Image Number: |
74743 |
| Caption: |
I wouldn't get on unemployment insurance even if I qualified. I've never taken a handout in my life. While everyone else was getting grants and loans, I worked four jobs to put myself through college! I thought that's cause you procrastinated and missed all the filing deadlines. That's not how I re-remember it. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2011-12-30) |
Image #74743 |
|
|
| |
Reddit
MySpace
Twitter
Google Bookmarks
Linked In
Share on Facebook