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Candorville

Comics about faces and facing.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-27 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-27 Pub. Date: 2019-08-27
Image Number: 179192
Caption: When's the last time you shaved, little buddy. Why do you ask? Because not all men can pull off the rugged stubble look. Stubble has to come in evenly, or you look like you've caught mange. I'd hate to be one of those guys. I'm about to hold you down and swipe at you with a straight razor, but it's as a friend.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-15 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-15 Pub. Date: 2019-08-15
Image Number: 178997
Caption: Let me get this straight: You have a moral objection to covering birth-control pills, even though it's often prescribed for medical reasons. I shouldn't have to pay so that women can have sex without facing any consequences. But you don't have a problem covering Viagra and vasectomies ... even though Viagra only exists so that men can have sex, and vasectomies only exist so that men can have sex without consequences. That's different. men are supposed to sow their wild oats. Women aren't. Who do you think they're sowing oats with?!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-06 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-06 Pub. Date: 2019-07-06
Image Number: 178395
Caption: So your mom self-published your rough draft to Amazon, costing you a six-figure book deal you already had. Why on earth are you smiling? She did it by accident. She thought she was just making a copy for herself. In any case, it means Momma loves my work. That's a really sweet attitude, Lemont. I'm proud of you. And for the rest of the time, I'll have something to throw in her face when she guilt-trips me.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-01 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-01 Pub. Date: 2019-06-01
Image Number: 177798
Caption: There gonna be a whole generation of elbow arthritis. We evolved to be hunters an' gatherers, bruh. Not to hold phones and iPads right up to our faces. You gotta outstretch your arms once in a while, Big L … because that way it's easier for you to see my passwords? Would you rather secure your bank account? Or would you rather end up like this here?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-16 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-16 Pub. Date: 2019-01-16
Image Number: 175842
Caption: I read your article 'bout how it turned out the @#$% that shot that black girl was black, not white. I read the comments under it. It was almost nothin' but white people gleeful about it. They was so busy rubbing it in your face, they forgot they talkin' 'bout the murder of a precious little girl. I don't think I've ever heard you say gleeful before in my whole entire life ... or precious. @#$% ... Them bigots got me all turned 'round.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-13 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-13 Pub. Date: 2018-07-13
Image Number: 172717
Caption: At the refugee internment camp. I feel for the babies and their asylum-seeking parents. Most fled for their lives, only to have their families ripped apart. And when they're deported, many of those men, women and children will face certain doom. I've never known you to be so compassionate, boss. Most of them couldn't use any vast savings to bribe stooges - I mean, their connections on the city council - to donate a condemned storefront so they could open a new cafe once they're smuggled out of jail. VERY BAD MAN. Times like these make me conscious of my privilege.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-27 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-27 Pub. Date: 2018-04-27
Image Number: 170823
Caption: What are the most important issues facing the working class? The what? The working class. And poor folks. Oh. Yeah. Of course. Mainstream Media. Trump's working-class voters stick with him, as Democrats can't decide whether to once again be the party of FDR. No, I mean tell me about actual, non-Trump-related issues working class people have to deal with. Progressives and corporate Dems book mud-wrestling pit to discuss midterm strategy.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-01 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166779
Caption: I published my new book, Clyde. It's all about how I met my girlfriend and how Trump became president. It's called "Canada or Bust!" … Available right now from my website, from Amazon, and from a bookstore near you. Bruh … is we havin' a conversation, or is you tryna sell me somethin'? I would never try to sell my own friends something Clyde. That'd be tacky. Is that your book right there in your hands with the title pointed at my face?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-17 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165540
Caption: I have to tell you, I'm pretty freaked out by all the Terminator death robots Boston Dynamics has been developing. You too? Of course. Have you seen that Youtube video of their headless wolf-creature murder-bot? About 100 times. Have you seen the humanoid one with a soulless face and wheel-feet that's agile and quick enough to catch you no matter how fast you run? What ... are you scared? Snowflake. What the -- you're the one who brought it all up! Do you have a link proving I brought it up? A "link"? This is real life, not the internet. I heard it! That's my proof.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-08 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165707
Caption: Some cat said "Merry Christmas" to me. I didn't hear him 'cause I had my earbuds on, listenin' to old Biz Markie tracks. So I didn't say nothin' back. Then this fool got in my face talkin' bout there a "War on Christmas." I told him what the @#$% you talkin' bout, bruh? There a war e'ry day. We been at war ever since my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard was on the radio in '03. What" What?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-01 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162091
Caption: Hey, Clyde. Wanna go hang out on the roof? Don’t you do that with Susan? Where she at? She's not talking to me right now. I told her I couldn't just take Joss Whedon's wife's account of their marriage at face value, because people sometimes don't tell the entire truth. Them's your mistake, bruh. You shoulda had just one thing to say 'bout the whole issue: "I don't care 'bout that." I think that's a dangerous philosophy. If something's in the news we've got to care. Wanna know why? I don't care 'bout that.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-30 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 162089
Caption: What do you mean you don't take Joss Whedon's ex-wife's article at face value? She wrote that he cheated on her for years. That settles everything. No it doesn't. All we heard is her side of the story. And she said at one point she moved away from her personal values to get closer to him. What does that mean. I'll tell you what it might mean: It might mean she knew more than she's letting on, but she was ok with it all the way until he decided to divorce her. Only then did she go back and rewrite history to portray herself as the totally unsuspecting victim. Is this about how your ex lied to the court about you? Is this about how your ex cheated on you?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-10 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-10 Pub. Date: 2017-07-10
Image Number: 160219
Caption: What're you doing, Susan? That's her! That's that chick Lemont's dating! I'd know that face anywhere!! Look, I have something important to ask you, Susan. But that's not Lemont! Where are you going? This isn't any of your business. I'm just going to have a calm, woman-to-woman chat with her about how she's mistreating my best friend. Why're you taking off your heels and earrings? No reason. Marry me.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-06 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-06 Pub. Date: 2017-07-06
Image Number: 159982
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … Susan … I know you've always been allergic to commitment. I know you've bailed on every serious relationship you've ever had … Have not. At four, after a week of playing house with Wilfred, you pretended he didn't even exits. At fourteen, after you and your lifelong friend "Turbo" started dating, you faked amnesia. I don't remember that. I never would've told you about my past if I'd known you were gonna throw it in my face. Come on out. I promise this is nothing commitmenty.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-17 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-17 Pub. Date: 2016-12-17
Image Number: 152115
Caption: She's going to find out I'm just a huge geek. I'm gonna blow this just like always. Face it, tiger … You just hit the jackpot. Get it? From amazing Spider-man #42. I always wanted to do that with the right guy. Oh no, you must think I'm a huge geek. I blew it, didn't I? I think I want to have your babies.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-12 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149611
Caption: When Vancouver approached me, the rest of the crowd seemed to desaturate. It was like everyone else turned black and white, but Vancouver stood before me in brilliant color. When she hugged me and I felt her soft hair on my face, the rest of the world faded away. And I couldn't feel my feet. After I Googled those symptoms and it turned out not to be a stroke, I realized it was love at first sight.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-20 face 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-20 Pub. Date: 2016-08-20
Image Number: 147390
Caption: Did you notice when Arsenio Hall's show got funnier once he grew a goatee? And remember how Star Trek's Captain Sisko got a lot cooler once he grew a goatee? Remember how Malcolm X got a lot more "Malcolm X"-y once he grew a goatee? Why, then, is the goat the most boring land mammal there is? Right now you're making me doubt that's the case.
     
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