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Candorville

Comics about evil .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-01 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-01 Pub. Date: 2019-09-01
Image Number: 179190
Caption: I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. I've always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal You're the disease, and I'm the cure. Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said Consider that a divorce. Or like in They live, when just before he killed a bunch of evil aliens, Rowdy Roddy Piper said "I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick (butt) ... and I'm al out of bubblegum. Your task tonight is to generate six one-liners I can use whenever I squeeze unpaid work out of my employees. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. You're the rest, and I'm the bed. The kind with spikes on it ... See? That's awful. Fix that up and give me sixe more.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-02 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177793
Caption: I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-22 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-22 Pub. Date: 2018-12-22
Image Number: 175484
Caption: I don't believe in voting for the lesser of two evils. I also don't believe in voting, through inaction, for the greater of two evils. That's why I'm voting for me. Me is the paragon of virtue. How could you be the paragon of virtue when I'm the paragon of virtue? (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-28)
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-21 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-21 Pub. Date: 2018-09-21
Image Number: 174076
Caption: Where've you been all day, Clyde? Ruminatin', bruh. Your boy Socrates said There only one good: Knowledge; an' only one evil: ignorance. An' then my boy John Locke said No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience. Add them two together an' the sum of that equation be all mankind is evil. You're not supposed to mix philosophers. That's on the warning label.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-17 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-17 Pub. Date: 2018-03-17
Image Number: 169398
Caption: Whachoomean little man with his momma? I thought you had full custody. An' I thought you said she an evil vampire. Lionel's been asking to visit his mom for a while now. I don't want to deny him that, even if the court says I can. Besides, people are different things to different people. Just 'cause she's evil toward me, that doesn't mean she's evil toward him. Didn't you say she once tried to have you assassinated? That was just a misunderstanding.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-28 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-28 Pub. Date: 2018-02-28
Image Number: 168929
Caption: I'm thinking of flying to Ukraine to cover a story about how evil, racist, neo Nazi paramilitaries are overrunning the country. C-Dog's Incredibly bad Advice $2. But since they're evil, racist and violent, it might be a little bit dangerous for me. Bruh ... we got neo Nazis right here. Just write 'bout them an' change the names. That'd be cheating. That'd be cheating. Just change Brad to Dmitry, an' change Miami to Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyl.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-26 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168927
Caption: Did you know that while nobody was paying any attention, evil neo Nazis have overrun Ukraine? And our military industrial complex is sending them weapons? Wait ... what? But it's ok, because when they become a big enough threat, our military industrial complex will also get to send weapons to their enemies. So it'll all even out. Sarcasm Monday strikes again. It's nice to see our defense contractors finally making a profit.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-21 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166923
Caption: I got sucked into an argument with my Uncle Elroy again. Dr. Noodle. He send me a dozen article from dailynutjob.com about how George Soros is behind all the conspiracy theories about George Soros. I couldn't help it … I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would he do that??" He replied "Because George Soros is trying to make people who buy into George Soros conspiracy theories look bad." Oh my. Then he sent me article after article about how Antifa spies were getting white supremacist haircuts and pretending to be white supremacists, and saying evil white supremacist things. I couldn't help it ... I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would they do that??" I thought we agreed you'd meditate whenever you had the urge to ask that question. He said "because they're trying to make white supremacists look bad."
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-07 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157070
Caption: America sure is great agin, I'll tell ya what. After eight long years of darkness, we're finally seein' the light agin. I meant "darkness" as in the metaphorical sense. You know … as in wickedness, evilness or malignant stupidness. I by no means meant anything racial, and you implyin' I did ... well, that sorta assumption-makin' is why you fellas lost the election. Furd. Why are you assuming that I, myself, am not a Trump voter? Well, dang ... you got me on that one. I mean, I'm not ... but that's not the point.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-20 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 155913
Caption: I got a panicky call from Lionel's mother last night. She wanted to see him right that moment. But I told her Lionel was fast asleep, partly 'cause her tone worried me. She had one of those "I'm an evil vampire and I'm going to take your precious child and perform some ritual incantation that'll turn him into an evil blood-sucking vampire just like me" tones. I'm not sure there's really any "tone" like that, Lemont. That's because you've never kept in touch with an ex.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-14 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-14 Pub. Date: 2017-03-14
Image Number: 155653
Caption: What's with teenage girls running away to join ISIS? Are they crazy? Don't they know how they treat women? Some girls just can't help being drawn to "bad boys." And evil men are the "baddest" around. It's the excitement. It's the danger. It's the thrill of being with someone who could utterly ruin you ... er, I assume. I wouldn't really know.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-26 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-26 Pub. Date: 2016-11-26
Image Number: 151299
Caption: Dick Fink, come in. You know how we handle all the ads for the Candorville Press, the book publisher? They just showed me a manuscript for a novel set at an ad agency. The villain is an evil shrew named Supan Garpia. Did you write that book, Dick? Advertising executive of the year 2016. Absolutely not, Ms. Garcia. Although I must say, it sounds amazing. I would love to read that story. The author's pen name is "Rick Rink." Sounds like a guy who's going places.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-28 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150198
Caption: I don't believe in voting for the lesser of two evils. I also don't believe in voting, through inaction, for the greater of two evils. That's why I'm voting for me. Me is the paragon of virtue. How could you be the paragon of virtue when I'm the paragon of virtue?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-06 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-06 Pub. Date: 2016-06-06
Image Number: 144219
Caption: Secretary Clinton, a growing number of people want to know about your emails. "President Trump." You've been saying all year that the State Department reviewed and approved your use of a personal server for your email. "President Trump." The State Department is now saying that's not the case - that they never reviewed it and wouldn't have approved it. "President Trump." The State Department seems to validate much of the criticism by Republicans. "President Trump." Clinton's got a good point.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-28 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-28 Pub. Date: 2016-04-28
Image Number: 142412
Caption: I remember your first word, son. It was "agoo." That'th not a word, daddy. It was to you. I could tell because your eyes would light up whenever I said it back to you. But in the movies people's eyes onwy wight up when they'we evil. Am I evil? What've I told you about taking things literally. I didn't take anything. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-03).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-06 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137377
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-27).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-31 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-31 Pub. Date: 2015-07-31
Image Number: 130318
Caption: Did you read my interview with my ex-roommate who joined ISIS? Yeah. Even back in college, I never trusted that guy. What're you talking about, Susan? You used to trust the heck out of him. You had him house-sit for you … You always asked him to withdraw money from the ATM for you ... Why do people always do this? Whenever someone turns out to be evil, some people rewrite history and pretend they always knew there was something wrong with the guy. I always counted the money I had him withdraw from my account.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-06 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-06 Pub. Date: 2015-07-06
Image Number: 129281
Caption: A bunch of black churches have been burned down in recent weeks. No! It's going to get worse before it gets better, Susan. Evil racists are lashing out because they've realized bigots are a dying breed. In a way, the worse things get, the better they are. Yeah. Wait ... what?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-29 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-29 Pub. Date: 2015-06-29
Image Number: 129036
Caption: It's time for the Confederate flag to go. We agree, for once. Well when an evil racist who loves the flag kills nine churchgoers just because they're black … I have to acknowledge the flag's been misappropriated. What do you mean, "misappropriated"? It was always the symbol of people who fought for slavery. There's nothing not racist about it. That's like saying neo-Nazis are "misappropriating" the swastika. I AM keeping my Confederate belt buckle, though. Time.
     
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