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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (79 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-21 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-21 Pub. Date: 2019-08-21
Image Number: 179095
Caption: Writing a memoir is hard, Clyde, mostly because of the Rashomon Effect. The what-a-man what? The Rashomon Effect. Everyone remember events differently. For instance, everyone I interviewed recalled the Banana Scandal from my fifth birthday party differently from the way I remember it. I remember that. That was disgusting what you had that gobots toy do with that banana. See?! There was no gobot!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-13 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-13 Pub. Date: 2019-04-13
Image Number: 177118
Caption: Our unofficial national motto used to be E Pluribus Unum. But our national motto should depict something we're good at. We're pretty good at pretending there are no lingering, systemic effects from slavery, Jim Crow, etc … We're good at not holding our leaders, our torturers, and our greedy white-collar crooks accountable. We're good at ignoring that we've basically become an undemocratic oligarchy. I still don't know what Reptant nihil hic is supposed to mean. Latin for move along, nothing to see here.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-19 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-19 Pub. Date: 2019-03-19
Image Number: 176836
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-13 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-13 Pub. Date: 2019-03-13
Image Number: 176726
Caption: This just in: Police arrest 80 protesters and journalists after the D.A. refuses to indict officers for shooting an unarmed … Click. North Korea is rebuilding a nuclear missile test site and appears to be targeting your house. Click … in London, second man appears to have been cured of HIV. Side effects of the cure include drowsiness, sneezing and zombiism. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-20 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-20 Pub. Date: 2019-01-20
Image Number: 175689
Caption: A body can't just go cold turkey. Do you want me to have palpitations?! You want me to hallucinate?! To have night sweats?! To have clammy skin and flatulence?! HOJ. Here. Delirium tremens averted! Zzz. Caffeine addiction is no joke.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-14 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166587
Caption: I was walking along the sidewalk minding my own business … Dr Noodle … when a cop stopped me and ticketed me for walking without a driver's license. Then he took me to jail and held me there for seven hours. May lawyer found out he's done this before, almost always to black pedestrians. I tried really hard to understand why he does that. I thought "maybe he's just incompetent. Maybe he's emasculated at home so he overcompensates at work. Maybe he was trained to do this and so it's not his fault. Maybe the Mandela Effect is real and he came from an alternate universe where walking without a driver's license actually is illegal. People often go to great lengths to avoid noticing this particular elephant in the room. I'm told it's awfully rude to accuse people who do racist things of being racist.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-26 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-26 Pub. Date: 2017-07-26
Image Number: 160759
Caption: Wait … did you say someone is bullying my song? Yeh, but I took care of that while you was gone. I taught little bruh to man up an' overcome it exactly the way you did back when we was kids an' a bully was clownin' you. You taught him to stand toe-to-toe with the bully, look him in the eye, and deliver a stirring speech that won his respect? What? That ain't even close to what happened. Well that's how I remember it. You also 'member Sinbad playing a genie ins some '90s movie, but that ain't never happened neither. Yes it did!!!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-02 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-02 Pub. Date: 2016-10-02
Image Number: 148531
Caption: It's my memory, doc. The more I look into it, the more it's just all wrong. For instance … Dr. Noodle. The first book I ever read was a "Berenstein Bears" book called Up Down and All Around. But when I tried to buy it for my kid, I discovered it was BerenSTAIN bears, and that there was never a Berenstein Bears books called "Up Down and All Around." It's perfectly normal to misremember things like that. Even large numbers of people collectively misremember things. I remember "Berenstein" too. Oh ... yeah, I figured. It's a lot more likely than thinking aliens kidnapped me from an alternate reality where it was "Berenstein" and put me here ... not that I was thinking that. Take two "stay off the internets" and call me in the morning. Look up "Mandela Effect" and "Ford Logo" on Youtube and then tell me there's no multiverse kidnapping going on!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-04 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 147443
Caption: Scientists proved quantum entanglement is a thing. They split one subatomic particle into two, and then found that when they did something to one half, the other half was affected too. Meanwhile, they also proved the location of subatomic particles is dependent on observation. Until it's observed, a particle exists in different locations simultaneously. I know. The act of observing it collapses all those locations into one. And no one know why that is. Scientists also believe that every particle in the universe is entangled with every other particle because they were all part of the same singularity that exploded during the big bang. Don't you see, Susan? When we decide to find a particle's position, the particle decides to have one, because that particle is quantum-entangled with us! Ok ... but why'd you ask if I was followed coming here? An observer observing an observer who's observing an observer who observed how observation works just might be what caused the last big bang,
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-22 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-22 Pub. Date: 2016-03-22
Image Number: 140809
Caption: I watched "Prelude to Axanar" years ago. It's on Youtube. It was the first Star Trek fan film that ever interested me. It stars some of the same actors from the real tv shows. The special effects are awesome, the story seems solid … It was a prelude to a full-length movie. It's going to be great. So naturally, Paramount is suing them to keep me from ever seeing it. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, Lemont. Everything I like gets canceled. I'm dangerous!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-23 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128672
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two. Do not lean on door.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-25 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-25 Pub. Date: 2015-04-25
Image Number: 125859
Caption: That's your tenth cup of coffee, Susan. Maybe you should slow down. Or at least use decaf. Did you know that too much coffee causes insomnia, increased heart rate, anxiety, puking … I'm just looking out for you, Ms. Garcia. Susan. You think I'm hogging all the coffee. No, of course not. Yes, I do. I do think that.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-01 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-01 Pub. Date: 2015-02-01
Image Number: 121614
Caption: You know what I like to do? I like to mock California. It's just so very ridiculous. It's got everything I love to complain about. Hollywood is there, for one thing. Where else would there be an entire industry of people who spend every day making things up and pretending to be other people? Nobody ever stops to think about how psychotic that is. Say what? If cities were people, Hollywood would be the guy you had to call the cops on to make sure he didn't hurt himself. All those explosions in every other movie are an obvious cry for help.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-23 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-23 Pub. Date: 2014-10-23
Image Number: 117917
Caption: I have a two-year-old. How do I make sure he never chooses to fight in our country's endless war? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2. What's that? I wrote your boy a prescription. "Take one six-pack of coke, a bag of Doritos an' a Happy Meal daily." Army fatigues don't come in XXXXL. He'll get diabetes by 18. All treatments have side effects.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-01 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-01 Pub. Date: 2013-11-01
Image Number: 103221
Caption: The ad agency of McMahon, Tate, Stevens & Evans may be plotting a hostile takeover. This is bad for everyone. Us, clients … everyone. You don't know that. Name one major merger that didn't lead to massive layoffs and price increases. There was the time Detective Munch from "Homicide" joined "Law & Order SVU." IN REAL LIFE. (Cartoon originally published 2011-04-22 and 2013-03-15).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-13 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-13 Pub. Date: 2013-06-13
Image Number: 97912
Caption: Before spying on reporters' emails, did the Justice Department consider the devastating effects it could have? We did. We were worried the news may become nothing more than poorly sourced, superficial noise that nobody trusts or cares about. … Are being sarcastic? We worried newspapers would close their bureaus and fire their staffs, and TV news would become all partisan and opiniony.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-15 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-15 Pub. Date: 2013-03-15
Image Number: 94592
Caption: The ad agency of McMahon, Tate, Stevens & Evans may be plotting a hostile takeover. This is bad for everyone. Us, clients … everyone. You don't know that. Name one major merger that didn't lead to massive layoffs and price increases. There was the time Detective Munch from "Homicide" joined "Law & Order SVU." IN REAL LIFE. (Cartoon originally published 2011-04-22).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-03 effect 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-03 Pub. Date: 2012-12-03
Image Number: 90577
Caption: It's all coming back to me, doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … PhD. Then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun has already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... How can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola? Leave the poetry to your patients. PhD. (Published originally on April 27, 2011.)
     
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