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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-10-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-16 |
Image Number: |
179916 |
Caption: |
I counted fifteen punctuation errors on your site in the past five years, Lemont. It's not a huge number, but it's the kind of thing that can damage your Q rating. I propose a 3-phase operation: Hire an editor to prevent future occurrences … Have my people scrub all your past articles to correct every error ... and have a foreign troll farm impugn the intelligence of anyone who's ever pointed out those errors. When's your vacation over? You really need to go back to work.
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2. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-09-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-26 |
Image Number: |
179620 |
Caption: |
I got a job offer outta nowhere, bruh. That's funny, so did I. My old editor wants me to … Uh-uh! No. That ain't how this work. What's the matter with you? First I finish my story, then you get to tell your story. A conversation be like merging traffic. First I go, then you go. Never mind. This why they revoked your license. They revoked it because you tried to use it. That's not important right now.
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3. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2017-07-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-22 |
Image Number: |
160506 |
Caption: |
You know why most political comic strips are leftist? Tell me. Sponsorship. There's no product-placement allowed. So there's no financial incentive to sell out to the big corporations. So political strips are free to talk about how Mansanto loves us. How big pharma over-loves us. How the oil industry is loves us, etc. Because one of those corporate friends can advertise in comic strips. But they advertise in newspapers, right? Doesn't matter. Editors and publishers don't ever read the comics.
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4. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2015-09-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-09-04 |
Image Number: |
131902 |
Caption: |
Sell us your blog and come back to work for us, Lemont, and we'll set up a day-care service for your son. The Candorville Chronicle. And that's on top of the raise, the profit-sharing, the parking spot and the corner office. Editor-in-Chief. If you're offering me all that, you must see a lot of growth potential for my blog. Maybe that's a sign I should just see where it takes me. Is it that you've gotten used to working in your underwear? Because if so, I'm sure we can ... Yeah, definitely a sign. |
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5. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2013-06-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-06-24 |
Image Number: |
98447 |
Caption: |
Ok, how's this sound: You come back to work for us and we'll give you 5% of the gross profits of the paper. The Candorville Chronicle. … After deducting standard operating expenses. Editor-in-Chief. That sounds more like your talking about NET profits. No, we're talking the gross of the net. AND you'll get full benefits, with a 100% co-pay. |
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6. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2013-06-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-06-10 |
Image Number: |
97909 |
Caption: |
You haven't responded to our last offer, Brown. We want you back. This spying-on-reporters'-emails story is heating up, and we want our top man on the case. The Candorville Chronicle. What's it going to take to seal the deal, Brown? $900k? Day care for your son? A house on the moon? A guarantee you'll still be in business in a year. Your demands are outrageous. |
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7. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2012-09-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-09-27 |
Image Number: |
87793 |
Caption: |
Oh, I get it. You're not going to tell me what salary you'd expect … The Candorville Chronicle. … Because people almost always undervalue themselves. But if you think staying silent is going to trick me into admitting your top offer is $85k a year, you're ... Editor-In-Chief. There really needs to be a "rewind" button on this thing. |
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8. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2012-09-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-09-11 |
Image Number: |
87230 |
Caption: |
At the Candorville Chronicle … So … Brown … Ready to come back from your sabbatical? My what? Welcome back. You start Monday. Editor-In-Chief. I wasn't on "sabbatical." You fired me over a year ago. Are you trying to trick me into coming back … ? This have anything to do with my website stealing all your site's readers? Coincidence. Editor-In-Chief. |
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9. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-08-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-08-23 |
Image Number: |
64817 |
Caption: |
The Candorville Chronicle. For the first time ever, our website is earning more profit than our print version. Do you have any idea about what that means, Brown? That since I'm your blogger, I'm a part of the reason for that, and you're going to give me a raise? I take it you have no idea, is what you're saying. And "first time ever" is redundant. |
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10. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-08-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-08-22 |
Image Number: |
64816 |
Caption: |
The Candorville Chronicle. But that makes no sense, sir! We should do what we're good at! For instance ... surveys show that comics are the main reason a lot of reason people buy the newspaper. We should run more of them, larger, and all together. Websites can't do that, especially on the iPhone or Android. Don't interrupt Brown. But, Mr. W.. It's rude. As I was saying: To compete with the iPhone, we're going to shrink the paper to the size of it. |
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11. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-08-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-08-15 |
Image Number: |
64449 |
Caption: |
What is this, Brown? What is what? This blog you wrote about some sort of famine in the horn of Africa. There's not a single word in here about the Tea Party or Obama or the stock market crash or our jobs crisis. Sometimes - every once in a while - things happen to people who aren't Americans. I want a rewrite by 5. |
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12. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-03-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-03-04 |
Image Number: |
21746 |
Caption: |
Breaking news! Scientists have discovered the meaning of lif- Click. …A zombie was apprehended after devouring several copy editors at the Candorville Chronicle today. Survivor Lem- Click. ..Were shocked when extraterrestrials made contact with- Click. "...Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiife..." |
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13. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-03-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-03-02 |
Image Number: |
21744 |
Caption: |
What's up, Gene? Editor's having lunch with Jebediah Oldman. Y'know, guy who created "The Oldersons," one of our longest-running comic strips. Oh. Say, didn't he die in, like, 1926? WRRAAAAUGH! Just don't let him near your jugular. |
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14. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-03-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-03-01 |
Image Number: |
21743 |
Caption: |
Candorville Chronicle. Problem is, our readership's aging. In a decade or so, our most loyal readers'll be gone. We've got to figure out how to appeal to new and younger demographics. Hold on. Jane, our elderly readers are complaining, so get rid of the new comics and bring back "The Oldersons." Anyway, as I was saying... |
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15. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-02-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-02-28 |
Image Number: |
21742 |
Caption: |
The Candorville Chronicle. We're losing readers to the internet and TV. It's just dang hard for print to compete with other media. People want images, images, images. Hold on a sec… …Jane, we need to save some money. Drop four or five comic strips. Anyway, if only there were some way we could compete with the other media... |
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16. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-08-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-08-26 |
Image Number: |
51239 |
Caption: |
Editors discuss results of a reader survey … Sir, if we don't replace "Cathy" with something that appeals just as much to the female demographic, we'll lose 29% of our readers. Not to worry, Olsen. I took care of it. I have Cathy grooming her replacement right now. No ... with more angst. First of all ... brotha ain't sayin' "ack." Second, I ain't wearin' this @#$%. |
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17. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-07-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-07-05 |
Image Number: |
49255 |
Caption: |
Dinner with the Monterey Gazette's Features Editor, two hours before Lemont's speech. So, what do you think of the hotel? … I said I'm not a valet. Don’t you dare put a dent in my Audi!!! It's nice. What'd you do today? How could I let Sasha Mitchell get away back in college Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Thump. Thump. Thump. Visited Berkeley. Reminisced. Good times. |
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18. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-04-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-04-05 |
Image Number: |
45958 |
Caption: |
The Candorville Chronicle. Perry White meets with an ACME syndicate salesman. Sorry, we already have a political satirist. Sage Blithely is local! He's funny! Insightful! Relevant! Has his finger on the pulse of our community! … And you pay him $150 grand per year. We can give you a weekly humor column by North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il for $5. An nyoung ha seh ho. You speak Korean? For $150 grand, I'll speak Klingon. |
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19. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-03-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-01-05 |
Image Number: |
21003 |
Caption: |
Blog hungry. Blog must have new column from Lemont soon or Blog will starve. Blog tie up little editor. Will release when have new column. …Otherwise will harm. Xoxo, Blog. Hey, at least your editor has a sense of humor. |
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20. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-11-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-11-20 |
Image Number: |
40989 |
Caption: |
Lemont Brown? Your editor sent me to take you on tour to promote your new book, "Katrina's Ghost." Nah, I'm C-Dog. I'm hidin' in Lemont's crib from some big-muscle brotha. I did his sister wrong. An' now he wanna kill me. You know how is, playa. HEY!!! ARE YOU C-DOG?!!! Golly. No! I'm Lemont Brown! I'd love to chat. But I'm on my way to a book tour. Oprah's waiting, Mr. Brown. |
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