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Candorville

Comics about drinks and drinking.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (65 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-26 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177771
Caption: One of my readers asked me Why do I sense such anger in you? What'd you say? I said That's probably because I'm not a sociopath. I said When people die because they can't afford health insurance, I care. When we tell kids they're nothing without college and then saddle them with loans they can never repay ... I care. When people figure out all sorts of ways to keep black people from voting, I care ... When poor people are being lied to about whether their water is safe to drink, I care. When our President separates toddlers and babies from their asylum-seeking mothers for months, I care. And because I care, I'm angered. I bet being a sociopath is relaxing. I'll relax when there's not more police brutality. Shut up, I'm trying to relax.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-07 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-07 Pub. Date: 2019-02-07
Image Number: 176173
Caption: Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-16 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-16 Pub. Date: 2018-09-16
Image Number: 173878
Caption: Black coffee, please. That'll be extra. What? It's the least popular item on the menu. I'm not following. It's supply and demand. Mocha, white mocha, caramel macchiato, breakfast blend, veranda blend, peppermint onion cactus blend. Those are our most popular drinks. Still not following. People love that stuff, so we have lots of it. You ordered something that's highly unpopular, and therefore it's incredibly rare. Very bad man. You might as well have ordered a unicorn.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-31 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-31 Pub. Date: 2018-08-31
Image Number: 173792
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey? Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and a 1/2 minutes before falling asleep.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-25 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-25 Pub. Date: 2018-08-25
Image Number: 173659
Caption: Now that the air duct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a child in one of Mr. Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. I heard him crying out for mama! over and over.. I had no idea what condition he would be in. But nothing I imagined could prepare me for what I would see. His crying grew more and more hysterical. I was just meters from him. I rounded the corner. And there, right before my eyes, was ... to be continued. Told you not to have that jumbo lemonade. Telling stories makes my mouth dry.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-08 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-08 Pub. Date: 2018-03-08
Image Number: 169166
Caption: I had a strange day today, Susan I totally know how that is … My day was strange, too. On the one hand, I landed the Ask Sadie Radio Show account. And I got a huge bonus. On the other hand, I discovered an underground gambling ring where people bet on how many cups of coffee I'll drink my noon. It's annoying when someone pretends to sympathize with you just so she can change the subject to her. I totally know how that is ...
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-07 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169165
Caption: Have you already had any coffee from that pot, Ms. Garcia? Why do you ask, Terry? Oh … no reason. No reason at all. If you've already had some, you may as well have more. It wouldn't make a difference at this point. Are you trying to scare me away form the coffee so you can have it all yourself? It's been an honor working with you, ma'am.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-29 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165419
Caption: I did a quick Google search. You've got nothing to worry about, Susan. It doesn't have to be dementia. You mom's memory loss could be caused by anything. Lack of sleep … medicines … underactive thyroid … stress and anxiety … depression … alcohol … you know your mom likes her brandy ... Not that I'm saying your mom might be an alcoholic ... although if you find a bunch of bottles hidden under her bed, it might comfort you ... or not ... I'm going to stop talking now.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-06 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163374
Caption: I want apple juice. I can't give you any. Oh … why? Are you poor? You can't afford apple juice? No, it's that I'm not your dad. I'm a stranger. It's not my place to go giving you drinks. You need money, don't you? You can say so. I have seven moneys I could give you. Where are your parents?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-04 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158134
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-13 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157812
Caption: That's your tenth cup of coffee, Susan. Maybe you should slow down. Or at least use decaf. Did you know that too much coffee causes insomnia, increased heart rate, anxiety, puking … I'm just looking out for you, Ms. Garcia. Susan. You think I'm hogging all the coffee. No, of course not ... Yes, I do. I do think that.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-13 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155652
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "if you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed. Time.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-26 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-26 Pub. Date: 2016-06-26
Image Number: 144284
Caption: You want to know why I'm voting for Trump? Because I like the idea of him making America great again. Oh, me too. That way we could all build bomb shelters in our backyards. Women could wear corsets, and men could wear suits and fedoras all the time, even while jogging. BLM activist love of red velvet cake. Daily Nutjob. Hillary failed to stop Pearl Harbor. Goodnight Grandpa. Men could smoke and drink in the office like real men, and women could go back to doing whatever we say. Black war vets could be denied a lot of the benefits of the G.I. Bill and I wouldn't have to sit in the front of the bus anymore. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Hillary rep'd NY on 9/11. Coincidence? Exoneration Nation. I once read that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. I like the back of the bus. That way I could keep an eye our for all the Communists. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why? Hillary failed to stop destruction of Alderaan.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-27 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140573
Caption: I got a cousin in Flint, Michigan, bruh. He say I could buy a house for $2. You wanna go in on this with me? Between us, we could buy like 500 houses. Yeah, there are lots of reasons for that, Clyde. For instance … haven't you been watching the news? A whole generation of children in Flint has been poisoned by lead in the water, and it may have caused a fatal disease outbreak. Yeh, but that only affect people that use water, bruh. I've been meaning to say, I think you drink WAY too much Pepsi. For a $2 house, I'll bathe in it, too.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-02 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-02 Pub. Date: 2016-02-02
Image Number: 138593
Caption: The Double Date. So … you and Susan seem happy.* *I'm her best friend. I'm the one who'll keep making her happy long after she's dumped you. Oh, yeah.* *You're her "friend-zone guy." You wish you could be me right now. Sigh.* *We do things together I bet you wish you could do together. You want another drink? I'm buying.* *I hate you with the intensity of a thousand suns.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-29 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-29 Pub. Date: 2016-01-29
Image Number: 138299
Caption: The Double date. So … ask your date why she couldn't be bothered to actually show up tonight. Ask her if they've ever heard of anything called an "airplane" in Vancouver. Tell her MY best friend has been through enough in life, and if she doesn't care enough about him to show up, I'm going to go over there and rip her hair out, strand by strand. Susan says she's sorry you couldn't make it. Aw, she's sweet. Tap tap tap tap t. I may have had too much Sangria.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-17 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-17 Pub. Date: 2015-12-17
Image Number: 136533
Caption: I had a strange day today, Susan. I totally know how THAT is … My day was strange, too. On the one hand, I landed the "Ask Sadie Radio Show" account. And I got a huge bonus. On the other hand, I discovered an underground gambling ring where people bet on how many cups of coffee I'll drink by noon. It's annoying when someone pretends to sympathize with you just so she can change the subject to her. I totally know how THAT is...
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-16 drink 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-16 Pub. Date: 2015-12-16
Image Number: 136532
Caption: Have you already had any coffee from that pot, Ms. Garcia? Why do you ask, Terry? Oh … no reason. No reason at all. If you've already had some, you may as well have more. It wouldn't make a difference at this point. Are you trying to scare me away from the coffee so you can have it all to yourself? It's been an honor working with you, ma'am.
     
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