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Rudy Park

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321. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-02 Pub. Date: 2015-08-02
Image Number: 129606
Caption: I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Our closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What we should do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that immediately fill you with joy. Almond Joy. Joy Behar. The human mind is much like a closet. To be truly happy, we must eliminate any unnecessary thoughts that don't bring us joy. I meditate every morning to ensure all my thoughts are profitable. It's important to focus. My next car might be a yellow Ford Focus.
     
322. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-29 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-29 Pub. Date: 2015-07-29
Image Number: 130393
Caption: You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.
     
323. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-22 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-22 Pub. Date: 2015-07-22
Image Number: 130027
Caption: I've never had a real date, because they always refuse to sign the Dutch contract. "The Dutch Contract"? Most relationships fail because of money. Because one party starts to see the other party as a piggy bank. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask prospective dates to swear under oath that they'll always go Dutch on everything. HOJ. Maybe it's the title people object to. A lot of conservatives can't stand anything that sounds European. Yeah. That must be it.
     
324. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-17 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-17 Pub. Date: 2015-07-17
Image Number: 129604
Caption: If we don't like the same movies, maybe we don't belong together. Reasonable people can disagree. I disagree. See what I mean? No. I disagree. Your movie choices make you unreasonable and worthless. I disagree. Stop it. You're so wrong! So you concede.
     
325. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-15 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-15 Pub. Date: 2015-07-15
Image Number: 129602
Caption: Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.
     
326. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-09 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-09 Pub. Date: 2015-07-09
Image Number: 129352
Caption: An 18-year-old was killed after using an app to track down his lost phone. That's awful. Maybe those apps should have an "alert police" button that pops up when they find your phone. So people don't take matters into their own hands. Yeah. And the phones should be booby-trapped, so you can remotely make them spray the thief with indelible polka-dot ink. Let's leave the solutions to me, ok, little buddy? It might also be a good idea to surgically implant our phones in our forearms.
     
327. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-23 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128753
Caption: I wish we had a caste system. It would be nice to know exactly what I'm supposed to do in life. My gut is telling me I'd be part of the celebrity caste. The U.S. ranks below Slovenia and Chile on social mobility. We basically DO have a caste system. Nonsense. We obviously don't, since I'm not on tv.
     
328. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-15 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-15 Pub. Date: 2015-06-15
Image Number: 128444
Caption: It'll come down to Bush vs. Clinton, little buddy. How do you know? Because people keep saying "I don't want a Bush or a Clinton." The country doth protest too much, methinks. True. People always say they hate sequels, but sequels always earn tons of money. If Theodore Roosevelt IV decides to run, all bets are off.
     
329. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-11 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-11 Pub. Date: 2015-06-11
Image Number: 128139
Caption: I've read fifteen books in the last three months, Randy. What? You? Read? Books were invented 5 thousand years ago, little buddy … and I thought if a technology was created prior to the year 2000, you weren't interested. That is my motto. But Amazon's new Kindle Voyage e-reader is cutting-edge tech. HOJ. I don't know, little buddy, it sounds like a dangerous paradox to me. I have been having nightmares about the Ghostbusters crossing the streams.
     
330. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-10 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128138
Caption: So you're not running for the Republican party's nomination for president? I'm dropping out to spend more time with my family. What family? You don't have any "family." You don't even have a girlfriend, or any prospects. You don't have so much as a hamster. The closest thing you have to a dependent is the mouse that lives under your bed. If you're quitting 'cause you can't win, just say so. I'm pursuing opportunities in the private sector. Stop it.
     
331. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-08 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-08 Pub. Date: 2015-06-08
Image Number: 128136
Caption: I don't know why you're surprised. It's totally in character for your nephew. This is just going too far. Not really. Rudy has an obsessive need to be part of anything he sees the rest of the country doing. I have it on good authority the internet based its "trending" algorithms on Rudy's brainwave patterns. I'm officially running for president as a Republican! ... and I'll be voting for Clinton!
     
332. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-05 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-05 Pub. Date: 2015-06-05
Image Number: 127848
Caption: Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks noticed he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't - Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizing his Segway's license plate.
     
333. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-04 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-04 Pub. Date: 2015-06-04
Image Number: 127847
Caption: But it's a calamity! We don't care! But the world will never be the same! So what? But it's not too late for you all to do something about it!!! House of Java.net Cybercafe. We don't feel like it. But AT&T's phasing out "grandfathered" unlimited data for iPhone!
     
334. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-02 Pub. Date: 2015-06-02
Image Number: 127845
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? I'm - Don't pussyfoot around the issue. Get to the point! I don't have all day! Get on with it, already! Next caller. You're on. What's your problem? Um … nothing. I'm good.
     
335. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-01 Pub. Date: 2015-06-01
Image Number: 127844
Caption: Don't be alarmed. I'm not falling for it, loser. You can't make Sadie Cohen worry about nothing just by uttering three dumb words. It's probably nothing. Those three won't work either! Nobody panic. Two words won't work either! Munch mun -
     
336. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-28 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-28 Pub. Date: 2015-05-28
Image Number: 127572
Caption: I can't believe you got one of those ear gouges. "Gauges." They're all the rage. I'm keeping it. Don't judge me just because you're behind the times. People have been doing it all over the world for thousands of years. It's nothing new. It's not? Ogawd! What have I done?!
     
337. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-12 Pub. Date: 2015-05-12
Image Number: 126888
Caption: What's Rudy doing over there? He's been hired for a freelance gig. Doing what? Sometimes people don't want to be seen watching certain movies. But they don't feel any shame of they accidentally catch it while someone else happens to be watching it. I sure hope nobody notices me watching this bootleg of "Avengers 2."
     
338. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-09 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-09 Pub. Date: 2015-05-09
Image Number: 126579
Caption: Why are you darker than I am? I can't tell you till you're older. Why not? Because that's a $45 question. And children don't generally have $45. You might be interested in my answer to "What's your name?" that's only a $12 question. I might have $45 in birthday money at home. I was just kidding, child. It's actually $55.
     
339. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-08 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-08 Pub. Date: 2015-05-08
Image Number: 126578
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Tap tap tap tap tap. So what, loser? So? According to Wikipedia, you're now a convicted felon who holds the world record for stinkiest armpit. That's the first thing that shows up now whenever anyone searches for "Sadie Cohen." Oh no, people I'll never meet and who I don't give a !@#$ about may think poorly of me. However will I cope? Spoken just like a felonious stink-pit.
     
340. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-07 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-07 Pub. Date: 2015-05-07
Image Number: 126577
Caption: Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can be "Me the Government." Very bad man.
     
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