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The Don't Ask Don't Tell Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-29 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175157
Caption: Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-09 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-09 Pub. Date: 2018-09-09
Image Number: 173794
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, what is the best way to apologize to my wife after I do something stupid? - Wayne, stumped in Utah* *(Actual reader letter.) Thanks for the dumb question, Wayne. There is only one obvious way to apologize after you do something stupid. Flowers. Attack! Tell your wife it's not you that is stupid, but the rules. Then blame your in-laws. Then accuse your wife of cheating with a local elected official. I don't understan ... Finally, make sure to videotape everything and send it to me. Address it to me care of: Sadie Cohen's Friday Night Home Entertainment Video Collection. who can I help next? Eat your heart out, Netflix. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
4. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-06-12 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172089
Caption: Where are your glasses? And what happened to your eye? I broke them. How? Don't ask. Tell me. I punched myself in the face trying to pull a quilt out of the dryer.
     
5. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2017-12-04 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165582
Caption: Gramma, will you tell me a story? A bedtime story? Why don't you ask grampa? He's much better at telling stories than I am. Last time he told be the story of his colonoscopy, and I had nightmares.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-24 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-24 Pub. Date: 2017-11-24
Image Number: 165151
Caption: You look like Big Bird. Excuse me? No I don't. And didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers? You're not a stranger. You're Big Bird. I've been watching you all my life. I. Am. Not. Big Bird. Sing "Riding a Tricycle," Big Bird. I'm not going to ask twice. It's my day off, kid.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-24 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-24 Pub. Date: 2017-03-24
Image Number: 155917
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Radio Hour. "Lemont" in Candorville, you're on. Yeah. I'm moving to Canada to be with a woman I love. I don't mean right now, I mean maybe next month. Or six months from now. Or maybe next year. Anyway, I'm definitely going. Maybe. Please don't tell me you want to know if you're moving too fast. Of course not. I want to know if I should consider wondering if I'm moving too fast. A Train.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-19 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-19 Pub. Date: 2017-01-19
Image Number: 153431
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Santa Cruz. What's your problem? I feel like something wonderful is about to end. Excellent question. That reminds me of the time great, great, great, great, great Grandma Cohen was a weather forecaster in France. The year was 1812 ... A short Frenchman with a spit-curl summoned her to his chateau on the outskirts of Versailles. He said "Tell me, witch, how will the weather be in Russia this year?" She took offense to being called a witch, so after consulting her cauldron and her buzzard, she lied and told him "The winter will be warmer than usual. Dress your troops casual." What were we talking about again? We were ... I ... don't remember.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-18 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-18 Pub. Date: 2016-10-18
Image Number: 149917
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing once single topic: Undecided voters. America has the longest campaigns in the world. You've had two whole years to watch the candidates and make up your minds. Call me and tell my why you're such a namby-pamby slacker!!! ... and don't all of you wait until 30 seconds before this show goes off the air.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-26 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-26 Pub. Date: 2016-09-26
Image Number: 149037
Caption: Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie â„¢ Show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Crabby Lady, Why don't you do like everyone else does and do something totally our of character for you. Like ride a Harley. Or adopt an orphan from an impoverished land ... or like being NICE for once. That last one would totally weird everybody out. "Sincerely," Arnold S. Cleveland. Ok, rather than say what I really want to say, I'll be "nice" and just tell you you really put the "vice" in "advice." Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-25 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142427
Caption: Boss, there's a truck outside full of penguins. What's going on? Are you wired? Are you or are you not asking me this on behalf of any law enforcement agency? If I ask you that, you have to tell me. It's a rule. Never mind. I don't think I want to know what's going on. Did you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black-market penguins?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-02 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-02 Pub. Date: 2015-10-02
Image Number: 133086
Caption: You look like Big Bird. Excuse me? No I don't. And didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers? You're not a stranger. You're Big Bird. I've been watching you all my life. I. Am. Not. Big Bird. Sing "Riding a Tricycle," Big Bird. I'm not going to ask twice. It's my day off, kid.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-13 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-13 Pub. Date: 2014-12-13
Image Number: 120015
Caption: Boss … The CIA is here. They say they're doing an inspection. Not a problem. If they ask about centrifuges, uranium or a secret laboratory, just tell them you don't know what they're talking about. And whatever you do, don't let them press the third brick from the left of the furnace in the basement. What are you up to? Nothing. Why do you ask? Also, tell them I've died.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-30 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-30 Pub. Date: 2014-11-30
Image Number: 118881
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers. Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My boyfriend refuses to tell me his Facebook password, and his security settings prevent me from seeing who his other friends are. How can I trust that he's not cheating on me if he hides these things from me? -Distraught in Des Moines. I get this question all the time, Distraught. First, you shouldn't jump to conclusions. There's no reason to assume he's cheating. It's just as likely he's running drugs, or he's involved in human trafficking, or he tattoos people against their will and posts the pictures on Facebook. Second, STOP BEING SO NOSY! ARE YOU A GIRLFRIEND OR A PRISON GUARD?! If you don't trust your boyfriend, just leave ... or you can stay and make each other miserable. Both options have their pros and cons. Send questions for Sadie: asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-16 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-16 Pub. Date: 2014-09-16
Image Number: 116479
Caption: Hello, I'm you, from the future. I've come back in time to ask you not to buy that Starbucks coffee tomorrow. If you just make your coffee at home from now on, I'll have tens of thousands of dollars more to retire with. Also, when a police officer tells you to leave the park bench and demands to see your ID, do NOT tell him "I know my rights." I don't care how many white people you saw doing that on YouTube, YOU'RE NOT THEM. Zzzzz.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
17. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2011-04-14 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2011-04-14 Pub. Date: 2011-04-14
Image Number: 59576
Caption: Gunther was so excited about making this. I could tell he was proud when he dropped it off. I can't ask him to alter it, even if there was time. What should I do, mom? I'll tell you exactly what you should do. You should respect Gunther, proudly wear that gown and impress the judges with your dignity, grace and compassion! I mean really. Oh, I don't know.
     
18. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2010-12-03 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2010-12-03 Pub. Date: 2010-12-03
Image Number: 54893
Caption: Attila … The guys at the dog park told me you are a feline. Yeah. Why am I the last to know? Don't ask, don't tell.
     
19. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2010-03-31 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2010-03-31 Pub. Date: 2010-03-31
Image Number: 45688
Caption: I've heard of "Don't ask, don't tell," But with goldfish, it's more like "Don't ask, can't tell."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-19 don't ask don't tell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-19 Pub. Date: 2009-10-19
Image Number: 39856
Caption: I feel sad, but the thing is … I think I feel sad about not feeling so sad anymore. Why do you think that is? I was hoping you could tell me. Listen, every week I come in here and you do nothing but ask me questions. When do you give me answers? ... Don't you think maybe answers that come from YOU would mean more than answers someone else gives you? NO!
     
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