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Candorville

Comics about dog years.

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-04 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-04 Pub. Date: 2018-09-04
Image Number: 173880
Caption: You might wanna get your hair checked, bruh. Your ask-frequency down 20% per year. That's a bad sight, Big L. My what? This year you asked me C-Dog, did you take my clippers? 5 times. By this time last year, you done asked 25 times. Guess how many times you asked the year before? Give. Me. Back. My. Clippers. Yo' hair growth be on a perfect negative-sloped linear Bezier curve, bruh. That @#$% serious.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-01 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150472
Caption: C-Dog, my stocks haven't appreciated in years. Should I hold or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for "Big Oatmeal," he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-29 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-29 Pub. Date: 2015-09-29
Image Number: 133083
Caption: You realize it's the year 5776 on the Jewish calendar? It doesn't feel like it's 5776. In 5775, we should have already cured all sickness, repaired the environment … defeated the robot uprising, colonized every planet in the constellation Cygnus … and given casinos to all the native life we displaced there. C-Dog don't gamble, bruh.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-05 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-05 Pub. Date: 2015-09-05
Image Number: 131903
Caption: I think my girlfriend's sister was coming on to me. What do I do? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. The important thing here is to ask yourself which one of them you can see y'self with 50 years from now. My girlfriend. Definitely my girlfriend. Then choose the sister. Anybody be boring as @#$% after fifty years, bruh.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-28 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-28 Pub. Date: 2015-07-28
Image Number: 130315
Caption: Hey, man … It's me, Lemont. Your roommate from college. Can you believe it's been 18 years? Where'd the time go? How's life? How's everything? Still have that dog? You've joined what? … You've joined ISIS? Oh. Um … That's … Uh … How's that going? That working out? Listen, I've gotta go. I have a thing to get to. No, no, I don't still live in the same place. I'm in Antarctica now.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-23 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-23 Pub. Date: 2014-10-23
Image Number: 117917
Caption: I have a two-year-old. How do I make sure he never chooses to fight in our country's endless war? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2. What's that? I wrote your boy a prescription. "Take one six-pack of coke, a bag of Doritos an' a Happy Meal daily." Army fatigues don't come in XXXXL. He'll get diabetes by 18. All treatments have side effects.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-09 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117065
Caption: What makes us think we're the first civilization on Earth? You got five seconds, Big L. Five seconds for what? To make it clear what this conversation has to do with C-Dog. Before we got here, there 4 … were billions of years of plate tectonics that 3 ... would've melted or buried any trace of older civilization 2 ... beneath tons of rock. 1 ... NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU!!! Time's up.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-31 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-31 Pub. Date: 2013-12-31
Image Number: 105638
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV. (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-03).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-03 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-03 Pub. Date: 2011-01-03
Image Number: 55831
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-10 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-10 Pub. Date: 2010-01-10
Image Number: 42642
Caption: Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? … An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-05 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-05 Pub. Date: 2008-12-05
Image Number: 28421
Caption: Last time I went to see a football game, the players were all about ten years older than me. Today, I was sitting in the stands with my hot dogs and nachos and beer, and I realized… …that you're getting a gut? THAT THEY'RE ALL TEN YEARS YOUNG THAN ME. Who won? TIME! TIME WON! I think the nachos held their own.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-24 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-24 Pub. Date: 2008-07-24
Image Number: 25215
Caption: Uh, Mr. C-Dog, I have a friend who's spent his life struggling against injustice and inequity. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice 50¢. My friend's leadership has made him the most important black man in America for over 30 years. And now some punk-@%$ kid with big floppity ears comes from nowhere and steals my -- I mean his -- thunder. What did you say yo' name was again? Uh... Smackson. Smessie Smackson. O...K...
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-31 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-31 Pub. Date: 2007-08-31
Image Number: 18405
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I'm 19. My girlfriend's leaving for college in another state. How can I keep her from falling for some new guy who's richer and hotter than me? Cheat on her. That way she'll be too busy planning your death to even look at another cat. How could I become as wise as you, sir? Study Gilligan. F Troop. All the classics.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-28 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-28 Pub. Date: 2007-08-28
Image Number: 18402
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I can't afford health insurance for both my wife and myself, so we'll probably die before we should. What can I do about that? (tsk) Jus' buy it fo' y'self, dawg. Women live longer than men. If she dies a few years early, it evens out.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-05 dog year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-05 Pub. Date: 2007-03-05
Image Number: 16249
Caption: How's it going? Terrible. I was in a coma for 26 years. I woke up a couple years back to find my party in complete control of the government. I was thrilled. …But then I realized everything had changed. I couldn't recognize my own party. My dog was dead. My wife was now a man named Earl. Um... the usual answer is "fine." Naturally, I started boozing...
     
Result page:     (16 images)