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Candorville

Comics about things that are distant .

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Result page:     (14 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-14 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178556
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-10 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174389
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory. Until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-31 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-31 Pub. Date: 2018-08-31
Image Number: 173792
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey? Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and a 1/2 minutes before falling asleep.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-05 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-05 Pub. Date: 2016-04-05
Image Number: 141502
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey. Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and ½ minutes before falling asleep.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-01 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-01 Pub. Date: 2016-02-01
Image Number: 138592
Caption: The Double Date. I need to go to the ladies' room. Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap tap t - Ding! Vancouver says she'll go with you. Dios mio.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-13 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-13 Pub. Date: 2015-12-13
Image Number: 135929
Caption: Lately you've been moody and distant. I keep asking you what's wrong … and you keep saying I'm just imagining it. But I'm not crazy. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm your wife. I love you. I'll understand. Don't fall for it. As long as you're totally honest with me, I would respect you and love you and we could work it out, no matter how bad it is. Don't fall for it. Ok (sigh) here goes ... There's someone else.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-23 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-23 Pub. Date: 2015-11-23
Image Number: 135622
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory, until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-08 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-08 Pub. Date: 2015-05-08
Image Number: 126509
Caption: Astronomers found what might be a livable planet just 12 light-years away. Don't you know what this means? It don't mean nothing to you an' me. We can't even get 12 blocks 'cause this bus never show, an' you wanna go 12,000 miles. 12 light-years is not 12,000 miles. Oh, ok. So when you going? Next Tuesday? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013/04/19).
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-13 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-13 Pub. Date: 2014-09-13
Image Number: 116188
Caption: You know how people always say "If aliens existed, why would they come all this way just to see us?" WE spend billions and billions of dollars to send probes billions of miles away JUST IN CASE they might find evidence that a single MICROBE lived there in the distant past. How far would WE go to see billions of bald, clothed apes that drive cars and play checkers? I've never seen anyone do that, Lemont. I didn't mean at the same ti- THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-23 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-23 Pub. Date: 2014-03-23
Image Number: 108219
Caption: I'd like you to admit one thing. Which is? Dr. Noodle. That your husband's agreeing to come here is evidence he does care about repairing your relationship. M.A. If, as you believe, your husband is an unemotional, distant man who cares only about being the victor in every aspect of his life ... why would he come here and make himself vulnerable? Because he just wants someone to agree with him that I'M the problem! LOL. Don't you think that's a little cynical? See? The man says you imagine everything. smh.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-22 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-22 Pub. Date: 2010-04-22
Image Number: 46585
Caption: Ok … What was the Civil War about, if not slavery? You don't really want to know; you're just patronizing me. Fine, don't tell me! Well since you asked … It was about people defending their homes against an oppressive, distant government. … That wanted to abolish slavery. Minor detail. YOU SEE WHAT I'M WORKING WITH?!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-08 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-08 Pub. Date: 2008-03-08
Image Number: 22137
Caption: Lemont, why do stars twinkle and planets don't? Well, stars are so distant that the atmosphere distorts their dim light, making them appear to twinkle. Whereas the planets are so close that their light overpowers the atmosphere, and they appear to shine. Really? Of course! I have no idea.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-06 distant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-06 Pub. Date: 2006-08-06
Image Number: 14296
Caption: Dr. Noodle Couple Sessions Today My husband's a CEO. Ever since corporations took over the government through their armies of lobbyists and their control of the media, he's been… Yes, Mrs. Fitzhugh? Full of himself. Out of touch. Distant. Pish tosh, woman. There's nothing wrong with our marriage. He won't even, well... snuggle at night. How would that benefit the shareholders? Cancel my next five appointments. Did you hear yourself, Ebenezer? That's "Mr. Fitzhugh."
     
Result page:     (14 images)