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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-01 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-01 Pub. Date: 2019-05-01
Image Number: 177385
Caption: So what if you didn't win some big award, Lemont. You're very accomplished. I am? Yeah. You've worked so long and hard at what you love to do that you haven't even noticed. You've turned your passion into a career. There's no better award than that. Thieves can turn their passion into a career, Susan. It's nothing special. Dios mio.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-22 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177323
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-16 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-16 Pub. Date: 2019-04-16
Image Number: 177221
Caption: The worst part of being self-employed is you never get the thrill of a huge tax refund. That's why last year I paid twice as much estimated taxes as I was supposed to. Lemont … have you ever thought that maybe you need to work less and have more fun? The operative part of refund is fun. Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-26 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-26 Pub. Date: 2019-03-26
Image Number: 176940
Caption: Wanna know how I know Star Trek: Discovery is a big deal? How? There are conspiracy theorists on Youtube trying to debunk it. I've seen people debunk the JFK assassination. I've seen them debunk the moon landing. Never in my life have I seen people try to prove that an insidious cabal of tv executives is deceiving fans into thinking a tv show is actually set in the universe they say it's set in. Their hour-long video about how the uniforms are 25 percent different from Captain Kirk's almost lured me in. Dios mio.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-04 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-04 Pub. Date: 2019-03-04
Image Number: 176624
Caption: So, how was your day? How come you haven't asked me how my day went? It's a long story. I'll start from the beginning. Dios mio. This is why you're still single, Lemont. What? What'd I do?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-27 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-27 Pub. Date: 2019-02-27
Image Number: 176499
Caption: We had burglars last night. Little Lionel asked Why do you eat red meat all the time, daddy? I replied. I don't eat it all the time, son. And he said Oh … Why not? I replied Because that'd be bad for me. Why? he asked. So I said Too much causes high cholesterol and increases my risk of heart disease, diabetes, and maybe even cancer. Dios mio, Lemont. Once he stopped sobbing, he tried to dig the burger out of my mouth.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-31 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-31 Pub. Date: 2018-10-31
Image Number: 174717
Caption: Now that my son's in the child protective services system, I have to be extra careful. But I'm still a journalist, Susan. We have ways to get the truth out. I mean, yes, I killed my story about the county suppressing minority voters. And yes, I ran a puff piece about the local bunny farm instead. But I trust my readers are bright enough to pick up on the secret code I used in the bunny farm story. Replace every time I wrote bunny with voter, and every time I wrote fluffy with disenfranchised, and ... Dios mio.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-22 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-22 Pub. Date: 2018-08-22
Image Number: 173656
Caption: A voice from somewhere deep in the air duct system told me to be still, and to listen for the cries of a child, for it would lead me to a refugee whose story must be told. So I did. I stilled my mind … and it led me to wonder if I'd paid the gas bill, if I was missing an Amazon delivery, and if that cretin Gary226 had admitted defeat yet in our Facebook argument. Dios mio. Then I stilled my mind again ...
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-06 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-06 Pub. Date: 2018-07-06
Image Number: 172691
Caption: Sadie Cohen blew me off, Clyde. She never showed up. That's your problem right there. You aware of @#$%. You shoulda blew her off first. Then you wouldn't even know 'bout it. Dios mio. Everyone's starting to do business like Trump. I started a business etiquette university. Enrollment is $2.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-03 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-03 Pub. Date: 2018-07-03
Image Number: 172688
Caption: Sir, why won't you let me fire Dick Fink? He's blackmailing you, isn't he? He's lazy, he's conniving, he's incompetent, he's a disaster. Don't you see, Garcia? I've given you the most precious gift an executive could have: Your very own scapegoat. Dios mio, what's he have on you?! The phrase you're looking for is "thank you."
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-26 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170822
Caption: I really liked your article about the raid on Trump's lawyers office. Thanks, Susan. You know, I wasn't the first journalist to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's statement. But I was the first to get Trump's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's statement … through his lawyer, I mean. Dios mio.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-09 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-09 Pub. Date: 2018-03-09
Image Number: 169167
Caption: So did you go get a doctor to check out that thing on your thingamajig? Sort of. I uploaded a photo of the thing to Google image search, so I could figure it out on my own. It's either a pimple, a cyst, or a Martian volcano. The technology isn't perfect, but it saved me a trip to the hospital. Dios mio ... you're going to die.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-06 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169164
Caption: I think people just talk too much about Donald Trump. Maybe if we all just ignore hi, he'll go away. I know what you mean, Susan. I've had this lump on my (censored) for about three years now. At first I was worried about it, and it seemed to get bigger and bigger. But a few months ago I started ignoring it, and now I have no idea whether it's even still there. Dios mio, Lemont ... You should really go get that checked. No way! If I don't know about it, it can't hurt me.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-16 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-16 Pub. Date: 2017-12-16
Image Number: 166006
Caption: Wow. The Last Jedi was such a good movie. I never saw an audience give a film a standing ovation before. Well, wait until Youtubers get ahold of it. Youtube's full of random people who think they're experts on film. They love to tear movies apart. They always say the same things, too: "It had pacing problems." Or "That moment wasn't earned." Or "That scene wasn't necessary." I'm thinking of starting Youtube channel where I give my critiques of people's critiques. Dios mio.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-11 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-11 Pub. Date: 2017-12-11
Image Number: 166001
Caption: Have you ever been to thetruesize.com? No. What's that? The maps we all use distort the sizes of the countries. The sizes are way off. That site lets you drag countries around to see how big they really are. Turns out Japan's as big as the entire east coast of the U.S. Brazil is almost as big as the United States. All of Africa is bigger than the U.S., India, Western Europe, Argentina and China combined. Same principle works for money. If you drag my seemingly tiny bank account around the globe, I'm actually super rich. Dios mio.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-04 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165703
Caption: Trump's FCC is about to kill "net neutrality." That means internet service providers can slow down or even block sites they don't want customers to see. Take Concast Cable, for instance. They could put Netflix, Hulu and Amazon on a separate "premium tier." They could slow sites like mind down so much no one will bother reading them. I still don't understand why you posted an article about how great Concast's logo is. It's to make up for that time I wrote a 48-part expose of their horrible business practices. Dios mio.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-04 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-04 Pub. Date: 2017-11-04
Image Number: 164420
Caption: You know how China built all those huge mega-cities, expecting people to flock to them, but they're still mostly empty? It's kind of ruined one of my all-time favorite movies: "Field of Dreams." Apparently if you build it, they don't come. I posted an article about that on my site, but nobody's read it ... That's more proof. Dios mio.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-17 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-17 Pub. Date: 2017-07-17
Image Number: 160501
Caption: Would you like the good news or the bad. Bad. Ok. That "Vancouver" chick you're so in love with is cheating on you. Omigod … What's the good news? Since you don't have health insurance, the hospital says the albatrossectomy cost you $15,000. $15,000?! That's the good news?! Did I forget to say "relatively"? Dios mio.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-07 dios 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-07 Pub. Date: 2017-07-07
Image Number: 159983
Caption: Ok Ace … I'm coming out. I'll stop pushing you away. I promise I won't let my fear or anything else get in the way of whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Marry me. Susan Ometeotl Garcia, will you m … Marry me. Dios mio! That's Lemont's girlfriend! With some other guy! You're trying my patience.
     
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