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Rudy Park

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-03 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-03 Pub. Date: 2016-05-03
Image Number: 142737
Caption: The new Avengers movie is going to be better than the new X-Men movie because it's not about saving the whole world. Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why "The Martian" did so well. It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden. I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares. We really should have our own movie review show.
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-02 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-02 Pub. Date: 2016-05-02
Image Number: 142736
Caption: Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-01 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-01 Pub. Date: 2016-05-01
Image Number: 141911
Caption: Can I use your wi-fi? Of course. Did you buy something? In a manner of speaking. I bought a Snickers bar last month at the 7-11 over in Candorville. So I'm basically a paying customer. I'm not following. My money went to pay the clerk's salary. A few days later, that clerk bought a magazine at a newsstand. The proprietor of the newsstand later used that money when he went to a massage parlor. He tipped the masseuse $65. The masseuse later took a bus to our town, where she bought a latter in this very establishment. I'm a customer thrice-removed. Ok. The password is "password."
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-25 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142427
Caption: Boss, there's a truck outside full of penguins. What's going on? Are you wired? Are you or are you not asking me this on behalf of any law enforcement agency? If I ask you that, you have to tell me. It's a rule. Never mind. I don't think I want to know what's going on. Did you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black-market penguins?
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-16 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-16 Pub. Date: 2016-04-16
Image Number: 141819
Caption: You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I now I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-04 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-04 Pub. Date: 2016-04-04
Image Number: 141525
Caption: I hate Batman V Superman. It's the worst … movie … EVER!!! Say what? What are you talking about, little buddy? Just last week you told me it was the best movie ever. That was after I saw it but before I read the professional reviews. The critics helped me see that I didn't actually enjoy it after all. You've decided to hate it because hating it is popular. They've also helped me see that the things I understood perfectly were, in actuality, utterly confusing.
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-02 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-02 Pub. Date: 2016-04-02
Image Number: 141150
Caption: It just occurred to me, all the best slang terms for "idiot" are derived from words that mean mumble-mumble. What was that, little buddy? I didn't quite hear you. I can't say it out loud. It's part of the male anatomy. You can't say such things in mixed company. Anyway, why do all the best slang terms for "idiot" also mean mumble-mumble? Well, that question pretty much answers itself.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-30 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-30 Pub. Date: 2016-03-30
Image Number: 141147
Caption: Hello, this is Bernie Sanders. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I know. That's why I'm calling you. I want to thank you for being such a big supporter, going to my rallies, donating all that money … and I want to ask, if you supported me all that much … Why didn't you show up to vote for me in the primary, you yutz?! There was an early bird special at Sizzler. I lost all track of time.
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-18 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-18 Pub. Date: 2016-03-18
Image Number: 140525
Caption: Did you ever have a brother or sister, Mort? Did I! I was the youngest of fourteen brothers. In my parents' day, it was normal to have entire letters of younguns. Aside from high infant mortality, people needed help on the farms. I didn't know you grew up on a farm, Mort. I didn't. Mama and Papa Park were just frisky. I guess there wasn't much else to do in the olden days.
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-08 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140198
Caption: I had my shirt on backward all day. Why didn't you tell me?! I was too busy being impressed, little buddy. You were defying social norms. Walking to the beat of your own drummer. Soaring to the flapping of your own wings. When I see a man with his shirt on backward, I don't correct him. I applaud him. How about when you see a woman with her shirt on backward? I applaud her too, even though there's an increased risk of misunderstanding-related slappage.
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-14 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138417
Caption: Triple espresso, por favor. I didn't know you spoke Spanish, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy tu tio Mort. Yo soy otra persona. You know the doctors said you can't have caffeine, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy "tio Mort." Me llamo Fernando Rubio … Cruz … Valenzuela … Alcaraz ... Y ademas, los medicos no ... um ... no ... y ademas, los medicos no ... Dang it! How do you say "And besides, the doctors don't know what they're talking about" in Spanish?! You have no evidence I'm not Fernando Rubio Cruz Valenzuela Alcaraz!! One Gentle Flower Chamomile Tea, coming up.
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-13 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-13 Pub. Date: 2016-02-13
Image Number: 138888
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! "Star Trek Beyond." I read that the new film's going to honor the original series' 50th anniversary by including shoulder pads in the uniforms. Can you believe that? Everyone knows the original series didn't have shoulder pads. Next Generation had the shoulder pads. Next caller. Am I right to worry that Star Trek may not be in the best hands?
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-11 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-11 Pub. Date: 2016-02-11
Image Number: 138886
Caption: Boss … I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever. Stop right there. This isn't some underhanded attempt to weasel out of your end of the bargain, is it? A lifetime contract is a lifetime contract. It's not my fault you didn't read the fine print. If I transfer my consciousness to an android body, technically that's a new lifetime. We'll litigate that bridge when we come to it.
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-10 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-10 Pub. Date: 2016-02-10
Image Number: 138885
Caption: I downloaded your band's new album. It's actually not bad at all. Thanks! I chose all the tracks and loops and dragged them onto the timeline myself. I even chose the pitch of the auto-tune. Well … I chose the app that chose all that. It was really tough reading all the reviews and downloading the right app. Sometimes when you get a compliment, you should just say "thank you" and stop talking. Actually I didn't read the reviews, just counted how many stars they got.
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-03 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-03 Pub. Date: 2016-02-03
Image Number: 138612
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-30 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-30 Pub. Date: 2016-01-30
Image Number: 138318
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to even the scales for you. You pushed them down in the dirt and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in "Lord of the Flies."
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-18 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137962
Caption: I've decided to change the way I Twitter-slam "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." Pointing out plot holes that aren't really plot holes is the latest trend online. I've been tweeting "It's the same story as the original" even though it's not. That was fun. But that critique is so last month. I still don't think "If Rey's the protagonist, why did Monopoly leave her out of the board game" is a "plot hole." And since when has Luke been old?
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-08 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-08 Pub. Date: 2016-01-08
Image Number: 137448
Caption: May I speak with Franklin? Who's calling? Concast Cable. Is this Franklin? I don't know you, why are you getting so familiar? Where I come from, if you use a man's first name without being friends, that's a big sign of disrespect. What's wrong with you? House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to offend you. Who says you offended me? I'm not Franklin. You've got the wrong number.
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-04 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137444
Caption: You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund. Ok. Where's the drink? What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't til I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste. You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works. You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you. That's not how it works!
     
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