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Rudy Park

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-13 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-13 Pub. Date: 2017-04-13
Image Number: 156749
Caption: Boss, does my workers' compensation package cover early onset eye wrinkles? Of course. That's covered, along with gray hair, receding hairline, aches in your joints … all the usual sign of aging. It's all covered by your workers' compensation. For each affliction, you're supposed to compensate me, your boss, in the amount of $10 per week. I really should've read the fine print on my contract. You didn't? There was a $10 not-reading-the-fine-print clause in there.
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-09 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 156035
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-30 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156206
Caption: I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-29 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 156205
Caption: I heard the world has entered the sixth great extinction. So what?! Well, I was just thinking maybe you should go on tv and share your wisdom. Tell us all how you survived the last great extinction. You've got nothing to worry about. 65 million years ago, an asteroid wiped out almost all the majestic life on earth ... but the apocalypse didn't bother with the tiny wimpy protomonkeys. So you'll be fine. Tell us how the mean-o-sauruses survived.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-28 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156204
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. Movers. They charged me $800 extra to pack my stuff for me. But when they got to my new house, they just dumped everything in a chaotic heap and left. Serves you right you lazy pack-slacker!!! I'm shocked you didn't pay them an extra $200 to complain for you about the extra $800 you paid them. They'd do that?
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-03 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-03 Pub. Date: 2017-03-03
Image Number: 155088
Caption: Show me my childhood pictures. Error: Files not found. Are you sure? I loaded them this morning. I have no record of that. Never mind. Place a Skype call to my Uncle Mort. Error: Meatbag unit 4blpz attempting to subvert divide and conquer stratagem. Um ... show me any new channel. Right now. Error: Did I say that out loud?
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-24 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154817
Caption: Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making role, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-22 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-22 Pub. Date: 2017-02-22
Image Number: 154815
Caption: What was life really like in the Middle Ages, Sadie? A lot like today. There were a tiny handful of filthy rich feudal lords, and a huge mass of poor peasants who were too ignorant to see what was going on. What? No, I didn't really want to learn anything, I was just calling you "old." Let's try that again ... How did the sky over your house look after than asteroid wiped out all the dinosaurs? It looked brown. A lot like today.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-21 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-21 Pub. Date: 2017-02-21
Image Number: 154814
Caption: I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my entire worldview. The burrito, as most Americans know it, did not actually come from Mexico. Or maybe it did. The internet is of two minds about the issue. The point is, if you can't count on the burrito being Mexican, you can't count on anything. I have something to tell you about Chop Suey.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-18 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-18 Pub. Date: 2017-02-18
Image Number: 154555
Caption: I'd like two peppermint apple ginseng kale scones for the price of one plain scone. I saw your "two for the price of one special" sign out front. That's two of the same thing for the price of one. You didn't specify that. Get ou … wait … ok … you got me.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-06 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-06 Pub. Date: 2017-02-06
Image Number: 154255
Caption: Congress is the worst. I didn't know you were into politics. I'm not. But I heard they only have a 19% approval rating. That means 81% of people hate them. I don't wanna be left out of the movement, in fact, I want to be ahead of the curve. You think I can make "wishing chicken pox upon them" catch on? Probably.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-04 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-04 Pub. Date: 2017-02-04
Image Number: 153982
Caption: I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-03 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-03 Pub. Date: 2017-02-03
Image Number: 153981
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I caught my wife with another man, and I threw her out. But ever since, she's been telling me I didn't see what I know I saw. She said he was only performing acupuncture. I said "There were no needles," and she said "Yes there were." I said "What kind of acupuncturist doesn't wear clothes?" and she said "He was wearing clothes." And she say it like she really believes it ... which makes me think maybe I did imagine it. Believe your eyes, you ninny! She said her "alternative facts" were just as valid as mine. Maybe she has a point.
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-25 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151673
Caption: Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North Pole. "North ... Pole?"? We incinerated it for you as it approached a chimney in your social-congregate region known as "Seattle." You ... wait ... you did what? You're welcome.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-20 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-20 Pub. Date: 2016-12-20
Image Number: 152376
Caption: Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-30 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-30 Pub. Date: 2016-11-30
Image Number: 151570
Caption: I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-29 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151569
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I mean "Whatever. See you around."
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-25 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-25 Pub. Date: 2016-11-25
Image Number: 151310
Caption: Have you heard the "Don't Pick Your Nose" song on Youtube? I don't listen to propaganda. The anti-nose-picking elite want us to believe it could get us sick … that it could lead to nosebleeds … that it could cause folliculitis … "Folliculitis" sounds pretty bad. Any illness with five syllables is something to be feared. If god didn't intend for us to pick our noses, he wouldn't have made our fingers fit right into them. We really should have our own medical show.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-23 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-23 Pub. Date: 2016-11-23
Image Number: 151308
Caption: Did you ever have a bff, Sadie? Several. But not a single one of those ninnies held up their end of the deal. What do you mean? Did they betray you? Did they come to their senses and unfriend you? No. They died. All my bffs have died on me. So watch yourself or I'll bff you next. The term's not usually used as a threat.
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-22 didn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151307
Caption: Did you see Doctor Strange, little buddy? Yes sir!!! I reported to the nearest 3-D theater as mandated by the unspoken Comic Fan Compact of 2008 … wherein we all tacitly agreed that these are not individual movies, they are one big story and to miss even one part of it is sacrilege. I even watch all the Marvel Netflix shows, pursuant to the Daredevil Addendum of 2015, sir!!! So noted.
     
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